| today's
        laugh An American
        tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor
        stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the
        trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is
        the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an
        old horse. The horse said again, "Its the
        carburetor thats not working." The American
        nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub,
        had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what
        the horse had said to him. 
        Murphy said, "Well, dont pay
        any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars
        anyway." 
        Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the
        newsroom to pay for her husbands obituary. She was
        told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word
        and he remembered Pete and wasnt it too bad about
        him passing. 
        She thanked him for his kind words but
        she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary,
        "Pete died." 
        The newsman said he thought old Pete
        deserved more and hed give her three more words at
        no charge. 
        Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and
        rewrote: "Pete died. Boat for sale" 
        1909 
        INTERESTING MELANGE.  
        A Chronological Record of Events as they have
        Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.  
        F.D. PORTERS
        BARN BURNED. 
        Lively Fire
        on Third Street  Miner Suspected of Incendiarism. 
        There was a lively blaze and
        considerable excitement about Frank D. Porters feed
        yard on Third street at half past two this afternoon. 
        A miner named Grant Mills who was very
        drunk, was seen to hurry out of the stable at the east
        end of the wagon yard and immediately a heavy smoke
        notified people that a fire was in progress. 
        Superintendent Nall of the poor farm
        was about the first on the ground and his stentorian
        voice soon brought the fire department Mahlon Thornton,
        Porters head clerk, pursued the flying miner and
        brought him to bay with a well directed blow to the ear.
        Ed Thompson, Porters driver, rescued the only horse
        in the barn, and a dozen excited farmers broke down the
        fence and hustled their teams and wagons out of the sheds
        adjoining. 
        
            
                |   | 
                Today's Feature Tree Seedling
                Distribution. 
                The Jasper County University of
                Missouri Extension Center now has Missouri
                Department of Conservation order forms for
                seedling trees and shrubs. For over sixty years,
                the George O. White State Forest Nursery, near
                Licking, MO, offers Missouri landowners seedling
                trees and shrubs. Each year they offer a wide
                variety of seedlings for reforestation,
                windbreaks, erosion control, as well as wildlife
                food and cover. Seedling bundles range from $4 to
                $30. Prices for each species and special bundles
                are listed on the order form. It also outlines
                the ordering procedure.  
                In addition to individual
                species choices, several bundles of mixed
                species, designed for special purpose plantings,
                may be purchased. These include a conservation
                bundle, wildlife cover bundle, pecan variety
                bundle, and a quail cover bundle. 
                The time you place your order -
                not the delivery date - determines your priority
                for reserving trees. It is important to place
                orders as soon as possible because reservations
                for trees are made on a "first-come,
                first-serve" basis until supplies are
                depleted. Each year many species sell out
                quickly.  
                You may have your trees shipped
                to you, or you may pick them up at the George O.
                White Nursery near Licking, MO. 
                Persons planning to make large
                plantings may wish to request free advice from
                the Missouri Department of Conservation Forester
                or Wildlife Services Biologist for their area.
                These individuals may be contacted through the
                Missouri Department of Conservation Offices in
                Neosho or Joplin. 
                University of Missouri Guide
                Sheets: G5008 "How to Plant Forest
                Trees", G5006 "Before You Order Tree
                Seedlings", G5900 "Planning Tree
                Windbreaks in Missouri" and G5009
                "Mechanical Tree Planting" are among
                those available at the University of Missouri
                Extension Center in each county. 
                For additional information, or
                to order trees online, go to mdc.mo.gov/7294 or
                contact the Jasper County University of Missouri
                Extension Center located in the Courthouse
                Basement, Carthage, MO or call 417-358-2158. 
                 
                 
                 
                 | 
             
            
                  | 
                Just Jake
                Talkin' 
                Mornin',
                    There are some things ya
                    just dont want to talk about. 
                    My brother couldnt
                    eat chicken for years after he helped a farm
                    wife round up supper one summer evenin.
                    He found that neck ringin wasnt
                    somethin he needed to know about. 
                    I have trouble talkin
                    about broken legs. After hobblin around
                    for a couple months waitin on a bone to
                    heal a few years ago, I cant hear about
                    someones fracture without wincin
                    a little. 
                    Women who are pregnant
                    always seem to spark conversations about
                    troubles with child birth. 
                    Knowledge may be power, but
                    sometimes there is a short circuit. 
                    This is some fact, but
                    mostly, 
                    Just Jake Talkin. 
                     
                 
                 | 
             
            
                | Sponsored by
                Metcalf Auto Supply | 
                Weekly Columns   
                To Your Good
                Health 
                By Paul G. Donohue, M.D. 
                Tension
                Headaches Are Most Common Kind 
                DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I went to the
                doctor because of headaches. On examining my
                eyes, she discovered that my pupils dont
                constrict and dilate. She sent me to an eye
                doctor. He said I have an Adies pupil. Is
                this a disease or a syndrome? Can this be causing
                my headaches? He told me it was nothing.  
                My headaches feel like
                theres a tight cap on my head. Please
                enlighten me on these things. -- G.S.  
                ANSWER: An Adies
                (AID-ease) pupil is one that is slightly larger
                than the other pupil and it narrows very slowly
                when a bright light is shined on it. Its
                not an indication of illness and has nothing to
                do with your headaches. If other signs are
                present, like a loss of the knee-jerk reflex when
                the knee tendon is struck with a rubber hammer,
                then you call the mix Adies syndrome.  
                Your headaches fit the
                description of tension headaches, the most common
                kind of headache. People who have them say they
                feel like a tight band encircles their head or
                that a weight is on their head or that their head
                is squeezed or, as you say, that they are wearing
                a tight cap. Pain is felt on both sides of the
                head, and rarely is it throbbing pain, as it is
                with many other headaches. The pain lasts from
                half an hour to seven days.  
                These headaches are called
                tension headaches because at one time they were
                believed to result from contraction of the scalp
                muscle. Now the explanation is that innocent
                brain signals are misinterpreted by the brain as
                pain signals. If that explanation helps you, it
                doesnt do much for me.  
                Start treatment of your
                headache without drugs. Heat packs to the neck or
                head might ease them. If heat doesnt do the
                trick, try ice. Massage sometimes work,
                especially neck massage. Get enough sleep, but
                not too much. Too much is as bad as too little.  
                Popular tension headache
                medicines are aspirin and Tylenol
                (acetaminophen). If they arent effective,
                tablets that combine them with caffeine can be.
                Caffeine enhances their painkilling properties.
                Ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin), naproxen (Naprosyn)
                and Ketoprofen (a prescription drug) have a good
                batting average against these headaches.
                Dont overuse medicine. Constant use
                promotes constant headaches.  
                 | 
             
         
        Copyright 1997-2009 by
        Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.    
             
         |