today's
laugh A clergyman
was walking down the street when he came upon a group of
about a dozen boys, all of them 10 or 12.
The group surrounded a dog. Concerned
the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked,
"What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog
is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but
only one of us can take him home. So weve decided
that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will
get to keep the dog."
The reverend was taken aback. "You
boys shouldnt be having a contest telling
lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a
10-minute sermon against lying, beginning,
"Dont you boys know its a sin to
lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your
age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a
minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think
hed gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a
deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the
dog."
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
The Perry Recital.
Edward Baxter
Perry, the noted blind pianist, will appear at the
Christian church next Tuesday evening. The Paris journal
of April says: "Edward Baxter Perry of Boston, gave
a concert yesterday, which was the occasion of a new
triumph for this eminent pianist. An old pupil of Liszt
and Clara Schumann, Mr. Perry, who has given thirteen
hundred concerts in the past ten years in America, is a
remarkable virtuoso, interpreting with an equal authority
the works of Beethoven, Liszt and Chopin. We had all but
forgotten to say that Mr. Perry blind; but all those who
applauded his execution so precise, and his cleanness of
attack, probably like ourselves, in listening to the
virtuoso, quite forgot his infirmity."
Acrobats
with Fields Minstrels.
The Faust family
of acrobats are booked for a season of 40 weeks with Al.
G. Field, and will be in this city tomorrow night.
|
Today's Feature Grandparent
Scam.
Missouri
Attorney General Chris Koster issued a Consumer
Alert warning Missouri seniors of a scam aimed at
swindling grandparents out of their savings.
Koster
said the scammers will place a phone call to
unsuspecting seniors posing as their grandchild,
saying he has been in an accident, is in
jailmost often for drunk drivingor
that the grandchild is in some other kind of
trouble. He said the caller often says that the
grandchild is in Canada and asks the grandparent
to wire money there via Western Union. Koster
said one worried Missouri grandparent wired more
than $20,000 after receiving a call from her
"grandson" saying that he had been
arrested for DWI in Canada and needed her to send
money.
Koster
said that complaint reports his office has
received indicate that the callers have an
uncanny amount of personal information about the
family, often knowing the grandparent and
grandchilds name.
Extra
Trash Pickup.
Allied
Waste Services will collect extra trash left over
from Christmas presents during the week of Dec.
28 through Jan 1.
Sorenson
Looking for a Cup Ride
When the Daytona 500 rolls
around, Reed Sorenson will be only 24 years old.
Unless something changes, he wont have a
car to drive in the 2010 NASCAR Sprint Cup
opener.
Sorenson is being replaced in
Richard Petty Motorsports No. 43. Teammate
A.J. Allmendinger is moving into the car from No.
44, which apparently will be no more. Provided
all the intended agreements are finalized, the
team is merging with Yates Racing, changing from
Dodge to Ford and fielding Fusions for drivers
Kasey Kahne, Elliott Sadler, Allmendinger and
Paul Menard, who competed last year at Yates.
"I want to thank the
Richard Petty Motorsports organization for giving
me the chance to race the No. 43 Dodge this
year," said Sorenson. "I did the best I
could and tried to represent the number and
company in a way that would make Mr. Petty and
our sponsors proud.
"I learned a lot this
year. The opportunity to work with people like
Richard Petty and Dale Inman is something
Ill never forget."
Sorenson, of Peachtree City,
Ga., is a victim of circumstances, but his
inability to put together a solid season
contributed to his problems. In his fourth full
season, Sorenson finished 29th in the point
standings, with only one top-10 finish. He was
24th, 22nd and 32nd in his first three seasons,
all with the team then known as Chip Ganassi
Racing with Felix Sabates, a team now aligned
with what once was Dale Earnhardt Inc.
After a promising beginning,
Sorenson has been unable to make the adjustment
to competing at stock car racings highest
level. He won an ARCA race in 2004 and is a
three-time winner in the Nationwide Series.
The combination of
NASCARs ban on testing and a new team was
more than Sorenson could overcome.
Early last season, Sorensen
said, "I think were making progress
and getting our cars better in practice.
Its just tough to do without testing and
being with a new team. I think were getting
the chemistry a little bit better, and I think
that should get better as the year goes on."
The improvement never took
hold, and by seasons end, Sorenson found
himself outside the sport looking in. Hes
still young, though, and is likely to resurface
at some point, perhaps in the Nationwide Series.
He has never competed previously in the Camping
World Truck Series.
***
Monte Dutton has covered
motorsports for The Gaston (N.C.) Gazette since
1993. He was named writer of the year by the
National Motorsports Press Association in 2008.
His blog NASCAR This Week
(http://nascar.rbma.com) features all of his
reporting on racing, roots music and life on the
road. E-mail Monte at nascar_thisweek@yahoo.com.
|
|
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I like old stuff. I
especially like old hand made stuff. I also
appreciate the fact that it was in fact made
to last. Course the things that
werent didnt last long enough to
become old stuff.
I enjoy discoverin
the simplicity of some of the first
automobiles. Mechanical brakes, gravity flow
fuel systems, wooden body parts. The
discoverin part is great, but I
dont want ta be stuck havin to
use one of the things on a daily basis.
Theyre great as long as someone else
uses em or they sit in a museum where
they arent a danger to the general
populace.
With the cash for clunkers
behind us, some enthusiasts fear that there
just wont be any classic cars around
for the next generation. Maybe theyll
be ridin old Schwin bicycles anyway.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
|
Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Parts |
Weekly Columns CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
Dear Tom and Ray:
I have often wondered, when I
see a street scene in Havana, how theyve
managed to keep those 50s vintage cars
operating all these years. Of course, we are
conditioned to replace a car because of a full
ashtray or if a bird defecates on the hood. But
still, wouldnt 50-plus-year-old cars be
increasingly expensive to maintain? I would think
the majority of those cars would be not only
mechanically challenged, but very unsound
structurally. And how do they obtain replacement
parts? - John
Tom: They go to Pepe Boys:
Fedel, Raul and Hugo. Actually they just get very
creative, John.
Ray: The structural stuff is
pretty easy. Thats mostly welding, which is
old technology.
Tom: Yeah, and I doubt they
have annual safety inspections, like we do. So,
the definition of "structurally sound"
may be "the seat doesnt fall through
the floor onto the street while Im
driving."
Ray: But structural things,
like floors and frames, are pretty easy to fix.
Tom: And for all the mechanical
stuff, they have machine shops. Remember, there
were no electronics in cars in those days. There
were no electronic ignitions, no emissions
systems, no computers. So almost everything is
some form of bent, lathed, or poured metal. Their
machine shops can do that.
Ray: And I suspect theyve
gotten very good at rebuilding engines and
transmissions. Remember, theyve been
rebuilding the same engines and transmissions for
50 years (literally, the same engines and
transmissions!)
Ray: Probably the hardest thing
to make is something like spark plugs. But they
have trading partners that make cars.
|
Copyright 1997-2009 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
|