| today's
        laugh A clergyman
        was walking down the street when he came upon a group of
        about a dozen boys, all of them 10 or 12. 
        The group surrounded a dog. Concerned
        the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked,
        "What are you doing with that dog?" 
        One of the boys replied, "This dog
        is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but
        only one of us can take him home. So weve decided
        that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will
        get to keep the dog." 
        The reverend was taken aback. "You
        boys shouldnt be having a contest telling
        lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a
        10-minute sermon against lying, beginning,
        "Dont you boys know its a sin to
        lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your
        age, I never told a lie." 
        There was dead silence for about a
        minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think
        hed gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a
        deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the
        dog." 
        1909 
        INTERESTING MELANGE.  
        A Chronological Record of Events as they have
        Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.  
        The Perry Recital. 
        Edward Baxter
        Perry, the noted blind pianist, will appear at the
        Christian church next Tuesday evening. The Paris journal
        of April says: "Edward Baxter Perry of Boston, gave
        a concert yesterday, which was the occasion of a new
        triumph for this eminent pianist. An old pupil of Liszt
        and Clara Schumann, Mr. Perry, who has given thirteen
        hundred concerts in the past ten years in America, is a
        remarkable virtuoso, interpreting with an equal authority
        the works of Beethoven, Liszt and Chopin. We had all but
        forgotten to say that Mr. Perry blind; but all those who
        applauded his execution so precise, and his cleanness of
        attack, probably like ourselves, in listening to the
        virtuoso, quite forgot his infirmity." 
        Acrobats
        with Fields Minstrels. 
        The Faust family
        of acrobats are booked for a season of 40 weeks with Al.
        G. Field, and will be in this city tomorrow night. 
        
            
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                Today's Feature Grandparent
                Scam. 
                Missouri
                Attorney General Chris Koster issued a Consumer
                Alert warning Missouri seniors of a scam aimed at
                swindling grandparents out of their savings. 
                Koster
                said the scammers will place a phone call to
                unsuspecting seniors posing as their grandchild,
                saying he has been in an accident, is in
                jailmost often for drunk drivingor
                that the grandchild is in some other kind of
                trouble. He said the caller often says that the
                grandchild is in Canada and asks the grandparent
                to wire money there via Western Union. Koster
                said one worried Missouri grandparent wired more
                than $20,000 after receiving a call from her
                "grandson" saying that he had been
                arrested for DWI in Canada and needed her to send
                money. 
                Koster
                said that complaint reports his office has
                received indicate that the callers have an
                uncanny amount of personal information about the
                family, often knowing the grandparent and
                grandchilds name. 
                Extra
                Trash Pickup. 
                Allied
                Waste Services will collect extra trash left over
                from Christmas presents during the week of Dec.
                28 through Jan 1. 
                 
                  
                Sorenson
                Looking for a Cup Ride 
                When the Daytona 500 rolls
                around, Reed Sorenson will be only 24 years old.
                Unless something changes, he wont have a
                car to drive in the 2010 NASCAR Sprint Cup
                opener. 
                Sorenson is being replaced in
                Richard Petty Motorsports No. 43. Teammate
                A.J. Allmendinger is moving into the car from No.
                44, which apparently will be no more. Provided
                all the intended agreements are finalized, the
                team is merging with Yates Racing, changing from
                Dodge to Ford and fielding Fusions for drivers
                Kasey Kahne, Elliott Sadler, Allmendinger and
                Paul Menard, who competed last year at Yates. 
                "I want to thank the
                Richard Petty Motorsports organization for giving
                me the chance to race the No. 43 Dodge this
                year," said Sorenson. "I did the best I
                could and tried to represent the number and
                company in a way that would make Mr. Petty and
                our sponsors proud. 
                "I learned a lot this
                year. The opportunity to work with people like
                Richard Petty and Dale Inman is something
                Ill never forget." 
                Sorenson, of Peachtree City,
                Ga., is a victim of circumstances, but his
                inability to put together a solid season
                contributed to his problems. In his fourth full
                season, Sorenson finished 29th in the point
                standings, with only one top-10 finish. He was
                24th, 22nd and 32nd in his first three seasons,
                all with the team then known as Chip Ganassi
                Racing with Felix Sabates, a team now aligned
                with what once was Dale Earnhardt Inc. 
                After a promising beginning,
                Sorenson has been unable to make the adjustment
                to competing at stock car racings highest
                level. He won an ARCA race in 2004 and is a
                three-time winner in the Nationwide Series. 
                The combination of
                NASCARs ban on testing and a new team was
                more than Sorenson could overcome. 
                Early last season, Sorensen
                said, "I think were making progress
                and getting our cars better in practice.
                Its just tough to do without testing and
                being with a new team. I think were getting
                the chemistry a little bit better, and I think
                that should get better as the year goes on." 
                The improvement never took
                hold, and by seasons end, Sorenson found
                himself outside the sport looking in. Hes
                still young, though, and is likely to resurface
                at some point, perhaps in the Nationwide Series.
                He has never competed previously in the Camping
                World Truck Series. 
                *** 
                Monte Dutton has covered
                motorsports for The Gaston (N.C.) Gazette since
                1993. He was named writer of the year by the
                National Motorsports Press Association in 2008.
                His blog NASCAR This Week
                (http://nascar.rbma.com) features all of his
                reporting on racing, roots music and life on the
                road. E-mail Monte at nascar_thisweek@yahoo.com. 
                 
                 
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                Just Jake
                Talkin' 
                Mornin',
                    I like old stuff. I
                    especially like old hand made stuff. I also
                    appreciate the fact that it was in fact made
                    to last. Course the things that
                    werent didnt last long enough to
                    become old stuff. 
                    I enjoy discoverin
                    the simplicity of some of the first
                    automobiles. Mechanical brakes, gravity flow
                    fuel systems, wooden body parts. The
                    discoverin part is great, but I
                    dont want ta be stuck havin to
                    use one of the things on a daily basis.
                    Theyre great as long as someone else
                    uses em or they sit in a museum where
                    they arent a danger to the general
                    populace. 
                    With the cash for clunkers
                    behind us, some enthusiasts fear that there
                    just wont be any classic cars around
                    for the next generation. Maybe theyll
                    be ridin old Schwin bicycles anyway. 
                    This is some fact, but
                    mostly, 
                    Just Jake Talkin. 
                     
                 
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                | Sponsored by
                Metcalf Auto Parts | 
                Weekly Columns CLICK and CLACK 
                TALK
                CARS 
                  
                Dear Tom and Ray: 
                I have often wondered, when I
                see a street scene in Havana, how theyve
                managed to keep those 50s vintage cars
                operating all these years. Of course, we are
                conditioned to replace a car because of a full
                ashtray or if a bird defecates on the hood. But
                still, wouldnt 50-plus-year-old cars be
                increasingly expensive to maintain? I would think
                the majority of those cars would be not only
                mechanically challenged, but very unsound
                structurally. And how do they obtain replacement
                parts? - John 
                Tom: They go to Pepe Boys:
                Fedel, Raul and Hugo. Actually they just get very
                creative, John. 
                Ray: The structural stuff is
                pretty easy. Thats mostly welding, which is
                old technology. 
                Tom: Yeah, and I doubt they
                have annual safety inspections, like we do. So,
                the definition of "structurally sound"
                may be "the seat doesnt fall through
                the floor onto the street while Im
                driving." 
                Ray: But structural things,
                like floors and frames, are pretty easy to fix. 
                Tom: And for all the mechanical
                stuff, they have machine shops. Remember, there
                were no electronics in cars in those days. There
                were no electronic ignitions, no emissions
                systems, no computers. So almost everything is
                some form of bent, lathed, or poured metal. Their
                machine shops can do that. 
                Ray: And I suspect theyve
                gotten very good at rebuilding engines and
                transmissions. Remember, theyve been
                rebuilding the same engines and transmissions for
                50 years (literally, the same engines and
                transmissions!) 
                Ray: Probably the hardest thing
                to make is something like spark plugs. But they
                have trading partners that make cars.  
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