| today's
laugh Newspaper
Headlines in the Year 2035
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban
cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea
Clinton has banned all smoking.
Spotted Owl plague threatens Western
North America crops & livestock.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the
key to weight loss.
Nursing home event... Bill Clinton
denies allegations of affair with candy striper.
Texas executes last remaining citizen.
Baby conceived naturally.....scientists
stumped.
Ozone created by electric cars now
killing thousands in Los Angeles.
Average height of NBA players now nine
foot seven inches.
New California law requires that all
nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be
registered by January 2036.
Authentic year 2000
"chad" sells at Sotheby’s for $4.6
million.
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Close Call on the
Rails.
Early yesterday morning, in a downpour
of painful rain an electric car was nearly thrown off the
tracks. The motorman threw on his brakes, but the wheels
slid along the rails as though they had been covered with
grease. He then reveresed his motors, but the wheels spun
around backwards without taking hold. The controller
handle was thrown around until all the current was going
through the motors, but without any effect. The car
jammed into the flat cars, which comprised the train, and
some of the passengers piled out of the back door with
the greatest celerity some of them had displayed for
years.
The front vestibule of the car was
smashed into kindling wood, but, strange to say the
motorman who stayed by his car, escaped without injury.
No one else was injured as well. The car did not leave
the rails and didn’t blockade the track for more
than a few minutes.
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Today's Feature End of the Year
Leaf Pick-up.
(This article is reprinted from
last Monday as a final reminder.)
The City of Carthage Street
will continue picking up leaves at the curbside
through Thursday, December 31, 2009.
Residents are asked if they
have leaves they would like picked up, to rake
them to the back of the curb, not in the street,
and call the Street Department before December 31
to have leaves picked up.
Since the leaf pick up program
started on November 1st, 370 loads of leaves have
been hauled to the Recycling Center and 1,080
curbside stops have been made.
For more information call the
Carthage Street Department at 358-7020.
The Department also as arranged
for Allied Waste Services to pick the additional
items on their regularly scheduled garbage pick
up day from December 28th through January 1st to
allow residents to remove extra boxes and paper
after the Christmas holiday.
The Recycling Center will be
open for operation from 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. on
Monday, December 28, 2009.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I see by the ads for the
little round "o" cereal that tests
have shown that eatin’ three cups of the
stuff a day, plus a "sensible"
diet, can reduce cholesterol levels. Three
cups. I’d have ta guess that eatin’
a bale a hay would do the same.
I’m figurin’ that
most folks don’t put much stock in the
studies promoted by the food industry. I
can’t tell ya if eggs are good for ya or
not, but I can tell ya if they are cooked
long enough. I suppose those study folks need
somethin’ to do, but ya gotta wonder if
there is any real value in it all.
The last scare was some
virus in hot dogs and processed meat. Several
companies I understand. That could lower your
cholesterol, to zero, from what I hear.
I’m sure we have
‘bout the safest food distribution set
up on the planet. Studies have shown it, so
it must be true.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Will Drywall
Work Affect Mom’s Health?
Q: My mom’s house -- built
in 1950 -- was caught in hurricane Charley in
2004. There are some medium-sized water stains in
the drywall that need to be repaired before the
living room is painted. My mother suffers from
emphysema, and I am worried that work being done
on the drywall will affect her. What would be the
best way to deal with this project, and what
products are best to be used. Don’t suggest
opening the windows, because this house is so old
the windows are stuck closed. -- Amanda H. in
Florida
A: Actually, just opening
windows to ventilate the house would not improve
air quality if the water-stained drywall also has
a mold issue. If black mold is visible on the
water-stained area, make sure no one attempts
repairs without properly protecting their lungs
and eyes.
Even if black mold is not a
problem, other molds or additional particulates,
such as dust from deteriorating sections of
drywall, can cause irritation. At the least,
while repairing the damage, wall off the area
being worked on with sheets of plastic that drape
from ceiling to floor, and wear a filter mask
(not a paper dust mask, but a face-covering mask
with filter connections). Professional repair
crews often set up a fan that moves air outside,
helping keep dust particles from building up.
However, if you’re very
concerned about how well your mother will fare in
that environment, arrange to have her stay with
family until the repair is completed and dust has
been cleared away.
Repairing the damaged drywall
is not too difficult. Ideally, if the drywall can
be removed at the seams -- which generally line
up along a stud -- then the replacement sheet can
be hung in the same spot with little trimming
needed. I unfortunately can’t go into too
much detail here, so I recommend picking up a
book on drywall installation and repair before
taking on the task. If you have a friend or two
with experience in hanging drywall -- even
better.
Before placing the replacement
drywall, inspect the interior wall to make sure
no additional damage or mold has occurred and
that no more water leaks are happening. If you
detect water leaks, find the source of the leak
and repair it before replacing the drywall.
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