| today's
laugh A bribe for
your professor
A professor was giving a big test one
day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and
went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over,
the students all handed the tests back in. The professor
noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill
to his test with a note saying "A dollar per
point." The next class the professor handed the
tests back out. This student got back his test and $56
change.
Wealthy investors
A wealthy investor walked into a bank
and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak
with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and
trusted employee of yours."
The banker said, "Yes he certainly
was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch
him."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Killed a Deer With a
Marble.
There is a boy in Taney county,
according to a story which is making the rounds, who has
a record which perhaps few if any old hunter can match.
He killed a deer with a marble. True, the marble was shot
from a gun, but still the occurrence may be ranked among
the most unusual of hunting events. The lad was out in
the woods hunting and had exhausted his supply of shot.
He had put into his muzzle loader, a single barrel gun of
the old pattern, a charge of powder, when he discovered
that his shot pouch was empty. The boy had in his pocket
a marble which he used as a "taw" in playing
the common game.
The marble exactly fitted the muzzle of
his gun, and hardly thinking what might result from the
experiment, the young hunter dropped the "taw"
down on the wadding covering the powder.
Strange things happen down in the Bull
creek hills, and on his way home the boy came upon a
deer, which at close range stopped and challenged his
aim. The adventurous scion of good hunting stock leveled
his gun, pulled the trigger, and brought down the game,
the marble boring a hole into the vitals of the deer.
Rev. W. A. Oldham
Gets a Fall.
Rev. W. A. Oldham, an acknowledged
expert wheelman, met with a serious accident while out
near the poor farm last evening. In attempting to mount
this wheel, it for some inexplicable reason, reared
backwards and prostrated the revered gentleman on the
ground. The result is a badly sprained left wrist that
was so painful as to keep him awake all last night, and
has to be carried in a sling today. His right cheek is
also cut and bruised from forcible contact with the hard
graveled road.
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Today's Feature
Adopt a Cat.
June is National
Adopt-A-Shelter-Cat month. Carthage
Humane Society is celebrating by offering
special adoption fees on all cats and
kittens. Our shelter is currently
overflowing with cats and kittens of
every size, color, and age. Many of the
adults are already spayed or neutered,
some even declawed and would make
wonderful companions. If you are looking
to add a little excitement to your life,
you may want to take advantage of our
2-for-1 kitten adoptions.
During the month of
June, all cats & kittens adopted come
with coupons for over $25.00 off supplies
you will need for your new family member,
including a free Frontline flea treatment
(valued at $13.00).
The Carthage Humane
Society is located south of Carthage on
Dog Kennel Lane. Operating hours are 12
to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday and 11
a.m. to 3 p.m. on Saturdays. 358-6402
The Carthage Humane
Society is an independent not-for-profit
organization that contracts with the City
of Carthage to accept small animals
picked up by City employees.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',Hopefully the last of the pig tales.
Sounder, that’s what ya
call a bunch a pigs. (A herd is also acceptable I
guess, but I still think pigs deserve their own
particular collective term.)
Some other unusual collective
terms were also submitted by a Mail fan. There is
a leap of leopards, of course a pride of lions,
and a parliament of owls. Polecats gather into a
chine and several rabbits become a drove.
Turkey’s aren’t
considered a flock, but a rafter, while wolves
pack. Eagles don’t flock either, they group
in a lofty soundin’ convocation. Then there
is the gaggle of geese, a skulk of foxes, and a
troop of kangaroos (also sometimes called a mob
of kangaroos). By the way, a yoke of oxen is
exactly two, so two yoke would be four.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'
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Weekly Columns THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Q: I know everyone is trying to
save money wherever they can these days. But some
people are avoiding making home repairs because
they are worried about the cost. Please let your
readers know that some problems have to be taken
care of when they’re small, before they
become really expensive to fix. Thanks. -- Bill
in Minneapolis
A: Sure thing! It’s
essential that certain home repairs (and
maintenance items) be tackled right away before
they develop into much bigger messes -- even if
the repair needs to be done by a professional.
Below are five tasks that
should never be put off, provided courtesy of
Angie’s List (www.angieslist.com).
1. Change your air filters.
HVAC experts estimate that 60 percent of all
service calls are the result of dirty filters.
Changing air filters regularly (every month or
so) can save you up to $100 each year in energy
costs.
2. Repair leaky faucets and
running toilets. Doing so could save hundreds of
dollars per year on your water bill. And
don’t neglect your sump pump. Check the
batteries and update the appliance every few
years. A flooded basement will cause thousands of
dollars in damages.
3. Check the caulking around
your tub and shower for moisture penetration,
which can lead to mold. Bath fixtures can avoid
premature replacement if the tile surface is kept
watertight, and the subsurface, usually drywall,
remains dry.
4. Inspect electrical cords and
outlets for signs of distortion, discoloration or
cracks in the insulation, and hire an electrician
to replace tired outlets that no longer hold a
plug. A defective receptacle, light switch or
fixture replaced during a scheduled visit will
save you hundreds of dollars over an emergency
repair.
5. Weatherproof windows and
doors. These are the two areas with the largest
amount of air transfer in both cold and hot
weather. Use a digital thermometer to check the
seal quality and inspect the caulking for areas
that have cracked or shrunk, which will allow
water to damage siding and floors. Once sealed,
use a programmable thermostat to help regulate
air temperature, which could save you up to 10
percent on your monthly energy bill. Consider
getting a home energy audit.
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