| today's
laugh If the pen is
mightier than the sword, in a duel I’ll let you have
the pen!
I was cleaning out my closet and I
found a swim suit that I had made out of sponges. I
remember one time when I wore it. When I got out of the
swimming pool nobody could go swimming until I came back.
The other day when I was walking
through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a
candle making shadows of people on a tree.
I filled out an application that said,
"In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote
"Doctor"... What’s my mother going to do?
1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
May Go to the Asylum.
A reporter was informed last night by
County Physician Flower that Dan Donovan, the aged
Irishman who was sent to the poor farm yesterday, is a
little unbalanced mentally and that he is at the farm
only on trial. He has been making himself unendurable to
his family of late, and in case he continues insanely
obstreperous at the county farm, he will be ordered sent
to the asylum at Nevada.
Re-Decking the
Bridge.
A train and bridge crew of a dozen men
is at work re-decking the Mo. Pac. bridge over Spring
river and over the Frisco railroad in northwest Carthage.
The re-decking consists in putting in new woodwork
beneath the rails, such as ties and sleepers. The crew
will be some time yet in completing the work.
Annie King, who was tried and convicted
of petit larceny before Justice Craycroft at Joplin in
1892 and made her escape from the county jail after two
days imprisonment, was arrested in Joplin yesterday and
is now going to serve out the balance of her 40 day
sentence.
George M. Turner of Springfield, and M.
M. Beck were in Carthage yesterday selling silks and
carpets for a St. Louis carpet company. They informed a
representative of this paper that while here and at
Joplin they have sold $5,500 worth of goods, as follows;
Pat Murphy, $1,500; W.H. Phelps, $2,000; Dr. J.A. Carter,
$1,000; Mr. Payton, $1,000. Mr. Turner is a brother to
Dan Turner, the well known type-setter and formerly
resided in Carthage.
While Isaiah Eiting and family were in
from their country home Sunday attending memorial
services, their team, which was hitched in Porter’s
yard, broke loose and started for home at a 2:40 gait.
They were caught by some boys before any damage was done,
except a broken pole of the spring wagon.
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Today's Feature
17th Annual
NALC Food Drive This Saturday.
The National Association of
Letter Carriers, in conjunction with the United
States Postal Service will be collecting
non-perishable food items like canned soup,
juice, pasta, vegetables, cereal and rice on
Saturday, May 9 to help families in need in our
community. Individuals can help by placing their
food donation at their mailbox on May 9 before
their letter carrier arrives. The carrier will
take it to the Post Office and it will then be
delivered to Carthage Crosslines, a Carthage Area
United Way agency, that assists in meeting
emergency needs of persons and families in the
community by providing assistance with food and
clothing.
"With the slowing economy
and increase in food costs, our requests for food
have increased to help people stretch their
budget," said Belle Lown, Carthage
Crosslines, Director. "New people who have
never asked for assistance are now requesting
help."
This is the 17th Annual NALC
food drive, which is the world’s largest
one-day food drive held each year on the second
Saturday in May.
If unable to get the donation
out on Saturday morning, it can be dropped off,
any donation, all-year long, at the
Crossline’s office, 600 E. 6th St between 8
and noon or call 358-1577 for more information.
In 2008, this drive collected
73.1 million pounds of food – the fifth
consecutive year to collect above 70 million
pounds of food - from almost 1500 local branches
across the 50 states.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Two can live as cheaply as
one, the old sayin’ goes, as long as one
doesn’t eat.
I see on several fronts
that there is somewhat of a movement for
folks to not be afflicted by
"affluenza."
One article I happened upon
made note of the difference in lifestyle that
makes the two income family a necessity. The
comparison was the average house of the
fifty’s. Around 1,100 square feet, no
air conditioning, maybe a one car garage.
Today the average size has raised to nearly
2,000 square feet with all the extras. The
cost of workin’ was also in the
discussion.
‘Course if ya go back
to the days this area was bein’ settled,
the whole family typically worked the farm.
Havin’ only two workers in the family
would have been a real luxury.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’
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Carthage Printing
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Weekly Columns Here’s A Tip
By JoAnn Derson
• Go Green Tip:
Today’s dishwashers don’t require you
to clean your dishes before loading. Scrape food
off and save water. Run dishwashers with a full
load.
• "When we cleaned
out our closets, we decided to use some old
T-shirts as rags for spills around the house. We
threw them in the washer with some bleach as a
way to mark them, and now when we have a big
spill, we just grab some of these and wipe it up;
then they go in the wash to use again.
They’ve really come in handy." -- M.M.
in Florida
• "When trimming the
skin from a pineapple, grab an oven mitt.
It’s perfect to grip the pineapple securely
while you cut away the spiky outer layer."
-- E.E. in Alabama
• "To keep ribbon
ends from fraying, give them a quick swipe with
clear nail polish. It’s also handy for
dabbing on button strings to keep them from
unraveling. I keep a bottle in my sewing
kit." -- I.L. in Oregon
• If you have a sticky
closet rod, try this neat trick: Grab a sheet of
waxed paper, and rub it over the top of the rod.
Your hangers should glide more easily.
There’s no mess, and you can do it section
by section without even removing all the clothes
from the closet!
• "When we go on
family trips in the car, I put a folded flat
sheet over the back seat where the kids are
sitting. When we stop, I can take it out and
shake it out. No more crumbs, eraser shavings,
lost crayon bits, etc. It keeps the upholstery
much cleaner." -- S.K. in Virginia
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