| today's
        laugh Why did the
        chicken cross the road? 
        COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the
        screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the
        chicken crossing the road. 
        MOHAMMED ALDOURI: (Iraq ambassador) The
        chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete
        fabrication. We dont even have a chicken. 
        PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a
        decent, hard-working American. 
        DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the
        road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken
        crossed the road, But why it crossed, Ive not been
        told! 
        ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
        Alone. 
        ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens
        to cross the road. 
        COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? 
        1909 
        INTERESTING MELANGE.  
        A Chronological Record of Events as they have
        Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.  
        Loss in a Barn Fire
        Was Heavy. 
        W.P. Rinehart, of four miles south and
        one mile west of Carthage, the burning of whose barn was
        reported, is in town today and reports his loss
        considerable. The barn was 42x52 feet in size with a good
        roomy loft. The stock was gotten out alive and safe, but
        700 bushels of corn, 200 bushels of wheat, 200 bushels of
        oats and a loft full of hay were all consumed, except
        part of the corn which, although parched and charred,
        will still do for hogs. What farm implements were in the
        barn were also consumed. 
        The barn was insured in the
        Farmers Mutual for $600, which will not near cover
        the loss. The barn belonged to M.K. Rinehart of this
        city, he renting the farm to his son W.P. 
        The fire seems to have begun in the
        loft, and no one is known to have been in the loft since
        Sunday, so the origin of the fire is a mystery.  
        
            
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                Today's Feature Auto Warranty
                Fraud. 
                Attorney General Chris Koster
                warns consumers about new tactics businesses are
                using to try to trick people into purchasing
                bogus auto warranty products of limited value.
                Koster filed lawsuits against six such businesses
                Friday.  
                According to Koster, the
                businesses marketed what appeared to be
                "extended auto warranties" to
                consumers, but actually were "service
                contracts" or "automotive
                additives." Many consumers did not realize
                they were not receiving auto warranties until
                they received the package in the mail. The
                companies sold the products as service contracts
                and auto additives and avoiding Missouris
                service contract laws, which provide some
                protection for consumers.  
                Customers who purchased
                "service contracts" often later
                realized the significant limits to coverage. Many
                contracts contain a 30 to 90 day, 1,000 mile
                period during which consumers cannot make claims,
                because that is considered a "pre-existing
                condition" of the vehicle. However, the
                extended service contract is only fully
                refundable within the first 30 days. Customers
                asked for a cancellation or refund when they
                discovered the provider would not pay a claim
                after that initial period, but were refused
                refunds because they were not within the 30-day
                cancellation timeframe. Many of the contracts
                have also been promoted as extending a warranty
                for 7 years and 100,000 miles. These companies do
                not tell the consumer that the coverage maybe
                limited to the actual cash value of the vehicle.
                For an older, high-mileage vehicle, the coverage
                may soon be less than the price paid by the
                consumer for the contract. 
                For companies using the auto
                additive scam, customers were sent a bottle of
                fluid for their cars transmission, engine,
                or cooling system, with instructions to
                immediately add it to the vehicle. Customers were
                instructed to install the additive in order for
                the warranty to be valid. But they later were
                denied a refund and told the purchase is
                non-refundable if the product has been used. In
                effect, the companies encouraged consumers to use
                the fluids immediately, knowing that would
                nullify their opportunity for a refund. Many
                consumers did not request the additive and did
                not realize they would be sent this additive
                until they received the packet.  
                "These businesses are
                using a bait and switch scheme and
                preying on consumers fears of not having
                adequate vehicle warranty coverage," Koster
                said. "They lured vulnerable consumers into
                purchasing auto warranties, and then
                switched to sell them into service contracts and
                auto additive warranties with inferior or
                negligible repair coverage, while making it
                almost impossible for the consumers to cancel the
                contract or get refunds. 
                "I believe this auto
                warranty business continues to be rife with
                fraud, and Missouri continues to be at the center
                of this deception," Koster said. "This
                office will continue to pursue and prosecute
                businesses such as these that target
                unsuspecting, innocent consumers." 
                 
                  
                Happy Birthday,
                Gitmo 
                by Dafna Linzer, ProPublica -  
                Much has occurred with regards
                to Guantanamo Bay and many decisions are yet to
                come. 
                But there is another milestone
                worthy of note: Friday marked the eighth
                anniversary of the creation of the legal
                foundation for the prison and the second-tier
                justice system established to try terrorism
                suspects there. 
                On Nov. 13, 2001, President
                George W. Bush signed what has become known as
                Military Order No. 1 in what he termed a Global
                War on Terrorism. Without informing his national
                security adviser, his secretary of state, his
                chief of staff or his communications director,
                Bush approved what would appear three days later
                in the Federal Register as: "Military Order
                of November 13, 2001: Detention, Treatment, and
                Trial of Certain Non-Citizens in the War Against
                Terrorism." 
                The few people inside the
                former administration who knew about the order
                were instrumental in its creation, including
                former Vice President Dick Cheney, his lawyer
                David Addington, former Secretary of Defense
                Donald Rumsfeld, former Attorney General John
                Ashcroft and a young, and then unknown, lawyer
                inside the Justice Department named John Yoo. 
                The order created a separate
                track of justice for any foreign citizen picked
                up on a global battlefield with the Pentagon
                serving as jailer, prosecutor and judge. 
                The findings, drafted in
                secret, also laid the way for many of the
                asserted war powers that the Bush administration
                later relied on. 
                "It was a foundational
                building block of the war on terrors legal
                architecture," said Matthew Waxman, a
                professor at Columbia Law School who worked on
                detainee issues during the Bush administration. 
                But those blocks began to
                crumble -- under legal challenge, political
                opposition and global outrage over a prison that
                President Obama would come to describe as a stain
                on Americas "moral authority." 
                Detainees began arriving in
                Guantanamo two months after Bush signed the order
                and almost immediately world leaders lined up to
                condemn the facility. In a landmark 2006 ruling,
                the Supreme Court ruled that the military
                commission system that had been in place for
                Guantanamo Bay violated U.S. and international
                law, and that the Geneva Conventions applied to
                the detainees. 
                Detainees now have rights to
                challenge their detention and the military
                commissions have been revamped. 
                All told, since Military Order
                No. 1 came into effect, the prison at Guantanamo
                has ballooned in size and notoriety. Nearly 800
                detainees have been housed there. Six have died
                there; more than 500 have gone home. More than
                200 are still there, in limbo. 
                 
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                Just Jake
                Talkin' 
                Mornin',
                    I made a startlin
                    discovery the other day. I needed a piece of
                    string. As I dug through this drawer and
                    that, the realization that there was not
                    decent lengths of string in the house struck
                    me. How could I have overlooked stockin
                    up on such an essential household item? 
                    Weve all seen those
                    big balls of string collected and
                    sittin on display. All I needed was a
                    couple a foot of decent sized string. 
                    I suppose it happened
                    durin one of those clear- out-the-junk
                    frenzies that happen ever few years. That
                    last bit of string was thrown out with that
                    bolt I was lookin for the other day and
                    couldnt find. Apparently my junk
                    drawers have been neglected and need
                    restockin. 
                    Im makin a
                    list. 
                    This is some fact, but
                    mostly, 
                    Just Jake Talkin. 
                     
                 
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                Weekly Columns   
                To Your Good
                Health 
                By Paul G. Donohue, M.D. 
                New Treatments
                for Rheumatoid Arthritis 
                DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I developed
                rheumatoid arthritis four years ago. I am still
                working, lifting 70 pounds and pushing up to 150
                pounds in a handcart, and I work 10 hours a day.
                I had been on methotrexate, but it made me sick.
                Then I went on hydroxychloroquine. Next was
                Enbrel, and now rituximab. I am a 47-year-old
                woman and have worked 22 years at my job. My
                insurance company is denying me coverage for
                rituximab because I dont take methotrexate.
                So I have hit a wall. People tell me to write to
                you for a cure. Is there one? -- G.G. 
                ANSWER: There isnt a cure
                for rheumatoid arthritis, but so many newer
                treatments exist that control of it is possible
                for most patients. Rheumatoid arthritis is the
                less common kind of arthritis. It usually strikes
                between the ages of 35 and 50, and more women
                have it than men. 
                Rheumatoid arthritis, unlike
                osteoarthritis -- the common kind of arthritis --
                is more than a joint disease. Its a
                systemic disease. That means the entire body is
                affected by it, and many organs can be involved
                -- the lungs, the lung coverings, the heart,
                blood vessels, eyes, spleen and bones. Systemic
                symptoms include fatigue and weakness. The hands,
                wrists, knees, feet, elbows and neck are the
                joints most affected. They become swollen, red,
                hot, painful and often deformed. The goals of
                treatment are relief of pain, reduction of
                inflammation, stopping joint destruction and
                maintaining joint function. 
                There are some things you can
                do on your own. Exercise is important, but your
                job calls for exhausting physical labor,
                something thats not good for rheumatoid
                arthritis. Will your employer switch you to
                another position? Rest stops the stress on
                joints. You can try taking omega-3 fatty acids,
                found in fish and obtainable in pills. It has
                helped some. 
                Nowadays, the trend is to start
                rheumatoid arthritis patients on the most
                powerful drugs so joints dont become
                permanently damaged. You have taken some --
                methotrexate and Enbrel. Rituximab (Rituxan),
                usually combined with methotrexate, has been
                quite effective for rheumatoid arthritis
                thats unresponsive to other medicines. 
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