today's
laugh Perks Of Being
Over The Hill
* There
is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
*
Things that you buy now wont wear out.
* Your
supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable
size.
* You
no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
* Your
investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
* Your secrets are safe
with your friends because they cant remember them
anyway.
* You can sing along with
elevator music. * Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the guy on the television. * Your
eyes wont get too much worse. * Kidnappers are not
very interested in you.
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Arthur Osbornes
New House.
James S. Ross began work today, as the
contractor, to build Arthur Osbornes new residence
on Maple street, south of Macon. It will be a modern four
room cottage with bathroom, pantry and all modern
conveniences, as heretofore mentioned.
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Digby of Joplin,
accompanied by their daughter, Mrs. L.F. Davis, of
Marquette, Michigan, visited yesterday with their
relatives, Mr. and Mrs. J.G. Crawford of this city, and
left this morning for a drive through the Indian
Territory.
Dr. J.R. Freed has completed his new
office room alongside of his residence on Maple street
and moved in yesterday. He has also added a new set of
porch pillars and a fresh coat of paint to his house,
greatly improving its appearance.
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Today's Feature And the Winners
Are.
Winners of the various float
categories in the Maple Leaf Parade: Sweepstakes;
Butterball, Chamber Choice; SMB, Artistic
Achievement; Precious Moments, Community, Adult;
Church of Christ, Community, Youth; 4-H, Special
Recognition; Charles Burt agency.
Queen Pageant winner was Emma
Lambeth, with Samantha Williams as first
runner-up, and Talia Triplett second runner-up.
The Junior Miss winner was
Hanah Schrader.
The Little Miss title was won
by Claire Sumvall and Little Mister was Gabriel
Fewin.
In the residential lighting
contest, Sandy Higgins won first, John and Connie
Haover and Brandi Ensor got second, and Mike and
Jeanie Goolsby ended in third.
Jayline Shae Bisbee won the
girls 0-3 category and took the overall Grand
Prize for the Baby Contest.
It has been reported that the
dog contest set an all time record for
participants this year.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
Sponsored
by Curry Automotive
The Chase Has Been
Divided.
Juan Pablo Montoya began the
Chase for the Sprint Cup with 5,000 points, which
meant he was 40 points out of first place. Since
then, Montoya has finished fourth or better in
every race. Now he is 58 points out of first
place.
Isnt that incredible? Is
there any doubt that Montoya is wondering to
himself, "What do I have to do?" (One
obvious answer: win a race.)
In the fourth of 10 Chase
races, the Pepsi 500 at Auto Club Speedway in
California, the top five in points finished in
the top five in the race. Jimmie Johnson, now
leader and three-time defending champion, won,
followed by Jeff Gordon, Montoya, Mark Martin and
Tony Stewart. It wasnt in order by points,
but it was emblematic of the first four races.
The Chase itself separates
NASCARs top series into haves and
have-nots. The first four races have further
divided the fortunate 12 -- the drivers eligible
to compete for the championship -- into haves and
have-nots. Perhaps there are now three castes:
have-haves, have-have-nots and just plain old
have-nots. Have-not classic, maybe,
Johnson, Martin and Montoya
have been almost faultless. Stewart has
scrambled, but magnificently (and in some cases,
luckily) averted disaster. Gordon is there,
waiting for a sign of weakness.
Its still a bit too early
to rule out a few others, but drivers like Kurt
Busch and Carl Edwards just dont seem
capable of outperforming the top five. Their cars
just dont seem fast enough, at least not on
a regular basis.
At this point in 2007, Johnson
and Gordon were doing this, but this is the first
Chase in which so many have been so bulletproof.
Thats likely to change, but the
near-perfection of the top trio -- Johnson,
Martin and Montoya -- is astonishing. Their
finishes:
Johnson: 4, 1, 9, 1.
Martin: 1, 2, 7, 4.
Montoya: 3, 4, 4, 3.
"Its
incredible," said Montoya. "We have
four (great finishes) in a row, and Ive
been losing points to the leader. It is what it
is. ... You aint going to make any points
on anybody. Everybody that runs good is going to
be there. You just got to make sure you
dont lose any."
Three are right there. Stewart
and Gordon are lurking. Kurt Busch, Greg Biffle
and Carl Edwards have lost their grip. Denny
Hamlin, Ryan Newman, Kasey Kahne and Brian
Vickers are already off the radar.
*Monte Dutton has covered
motorsports for The Gaston (N.C.) Gazette since
1993.
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![](jake.gif) |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
(This Jake was printed last
Thursday and didn't get changed out. Sorry
for any confusion)
If ya havent heard,
there will be an auction at the new high
school on this Saturday. The proceeds of the
silent auction, and the live auction will be
used to help pay for the bronze tiger
sculpture that is bein created by Bob
Tommey. The tiger is to be placed at the high
school after it is completed.
The silent auction will
begin at 2 p.m. with the live auction
startin at 4. The auctions are
comprised mainly of donations from various
businesses of the community, include artwork
from several artists that are well known in
this area.
Accordin to Sandy
Higgins, the fund rasin chairperson,
tours of the new High School will also be
available durin the day. If youre
lookin for a break from the hectic pace
of the day, this could be the spot.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by Metcalf
Auto Supply |
Weekly Columns Dear Tom and Ray:
So Im thinking of getting
my car detailed, and an associate gives me a
referral. While perusing the service sheet, under
"Options" is listed "Claying, add
$30-$40." Im thinking, "Holy spa
treatment, Batman!" The other side of the
service sheet explains the process:
"Why clay your car?
Claying your car produces dramatic results. Using
a lubricant spray, clay is slid alongside your
paint. It picks up microscopic pollutants, which
a car wash cannot remove. The result is stunning!
Your paint looks cleaner and feels much smoother
to the touch. With a coat of wax, your car will
look the best it ever has."
So my multipart question to
you: Have you ever heard of this; what do
youthink; is this for real? - Claudia
Ray: Do they lay slices of
soothing cucumber over your headlights, too,
Claudia?
Tom: Believe it or not, this IS
for real, Claudia. Wed never heard of it.
But we checked with our palls in the bodyshop
underworld, and they say its a procedure
thats been accepted for a long time. It
works sort of like Silly Putty works when you
press it against a newspaper. Small particles
stick to the clay, and then ar pulled off the
cars finish.
Ray: Apparently its one
of the methods used to remove rail dust from
cars. Sometimes new cars that are transported by
train get covered in a fine coating of metal dust
thats created by the interaction between
the rrain wheels and the tracks. Other methods
would scratch the surface.
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