today's laugh
Theyve just
come up with a computer that does the work of a hundred
men. They say it can even think. If it does the work of a
hundred men, it cant.
On a flight, the pilot announces over
the intercom, "Our menu today is baked chicken,
roast beef, or lasagna. If you dont get your first
choice, youll never know."
Suburbia tenant: This roof is leaking
on our heads. How long is that going to continue?
Landlord: Whaddaya think I am, a weatherman?!
Then there was the guy who poured
margaritas in the birdbath. It was enough tequila
mockingbird.
1900
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Bad
Accident At Frisco.
Marshal Dowell Will
Lose His Right Foot -
Lives at Eureka Springs.
Yesterday afternoon Marshal Dowell, a
15 year old lad, fell under the wheels of a moving
freight train at the Frisco depot and had his foot nearly
cut off and a bad gash cut in his head. He will have to
have his foot amputated.
He had left Eureka Springs, which in
his home, Monday morning and was "bumming his way to
Galena to see his sister, May Dowell, of that place. He
had gotten this far and been in town most of the day and
was at the depot when the train pulled out and attempted
to catch on with the above result.
He was taken to Dr. Chesters
office and the foot patched up as best it could be and
arrangements were being made last night to have him sent
to Springfield to the hospital.
His fathers name is George Dowell
and he is a stone Mason. The boy was in rags and did not
have a cent of money.
With Dowell were two other boys also
from Eureka Springs. One of them was Grant Fuller, son of
Lewis Fuller, a farmer living near that city. He was
going to Joplin to see his sister, Ida Sander, of that
place. The other was Ose Lambert, son of J.W. Lambert, of
Eureka Springs. He was going to Webb City to see his
sister, Ida Morgan. None of the boys were over 15 years
of age. Fuller and Lambert signified their intention of
going on to Joplin and Webb City.
It was a touching sight to see the
sorrow of these two little ragmuffins as they held their
comrade who had been injured while the surgeons were
dressing the foot. Tears stood in their eyes when a
reporter asked them about their home and why they left,
but there was not a whimper as one of them said, "we
are not going back home though, now, would you?"
They did not have a cent of money, but pluckily declared
they would try to earn enough before night to get to
Joplin and Webb City.
One of them said, "we are not
going to board anymore trains if we have to walk to
Joplin."
They were all in rags and showed
evidence of having been up against adversity before.
They had not planned to run away, but
met at the depot and Marshal told the other boys that he
was going to Galena. They decided to go with him and did.
Their parents do not know were they are.
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Today's Feature
More
Signal and Street Talk.
The Public Works Committee is
scheduled to hear an update on the proposed
"Safe Passage" system during the
regular meeting this afternoon at 5:15 in City
Hall.
A demonstration of a prototype
was presented during the last meeting. Developed
by a local company, the device would allow
traffic signals to turn red in all directions if
approached by a local emergency vehicle that had
warning lights flashing. The Committee is
awaiting information concerning the warranties of
signals at Garrison and Central before making a
recommendation to the Public Safety Committee.
Also scheduled for discussion
and consideration is the Citys incentive
program for developers. Developer Bill Wilson has
requested to speak with the Committee.
Wilsons request for reimbursement for
street construction was turned down during the
last regular Committee meeting. According to City
Director of Engineering Joe Butler, traditionally
the incentive for streets was only paid in
conjunction with incentives for curb and gutter
construction. The Committee understood no curb
and gutter reimbursement was requested.
Commentary
Martin
"Bubs" Hohulin
State Representative, District 126
This Session
just keeps getting sadder and sadder. Earlier
this year, I wrote about how we werent
allowed to offer amendments to the multi billion
dollar tobacco settlement.
I need to point out that the
House of Representatives in Missouri is run by
the party with the most seats. Since the 1950s,
that has been the democratic party. Rep. Steve
Gaw is currently the Speaker and under his
leadership, the House democrats have operated in
a bitter, partisan fashion.
This week, we were working late
on Wednesday when the democrats, with Speaker Gaw
presiding, tried to ignore the Constitution of
Missouri. One of the most frustrating things I
have seen since being here is that during a vote,
the democrats will vote how the Speaker tells
them to, and then will run up and change their
votes. Let me explain.
It takes 82 votes to pass a
bill in the House. When the board opens, the
democrats all vote the way the Speaker wants,
even if it is against the wishes of their
district. Then, once the vote is over, House
rules allow a member to change their vote as long
as it doesnt affect whether a bill passes
or fails. In other words, if a bill passes with
90 votes, up to 8 members can change their vote
from yes to no. This allows as many of their
members as possible to change their votes to be
more in line with their districts.
After seeing this go on for
years, we decided to have every roll call vote
verified. This entails a physical reading of the
vote of every member immediately after the voting
board is closed, after which no member may change
their vote.
We did this on several votes
Wednesday night. Next thing we knew, Speaker Gaw
had recognized the Majority Floor Leader for a
motion to do away with the rule that allows for a
verification of a roll call. This came after they
had shut off debate on over half of the bills we
had hoped to debate that evening.
The whole situation was a sad
commentary on the way the Missouri House of
Representatives is being run. What makes it even
sadder is that Steve Gaw wants to be the next
Secretary of State. The Secretary of State is
charged with running fair elections in Missouri.
If he cant run a fair vote in the House,
how can we expect him to run fair elections in
Missouri?
As usual, I can be reached at
House Post Office, State Capitol, Jefferson City,
MO 65101, or 1-800-878-7126, or
mhohulin@services.state.mo.us for your questions,
comments, or advice.
Living
With Grief: Children,
Adolescents, and Loss.
new release
On Wednesday, April 26 at 12:30
p.m., University Outreach and Extension will host
the seventh annual Hospice Foundation of America
National Bereavement Teleconference. "Living
With Grief: Children, Adolescents, and
Loss," moderated by Cokie Roberts of ABC
News, will examine ways to help children and
adolescents cope with loss.
The program will offer insight
and practical suggestions for those assisting
young people with issues that include death,
serious illness, divorce, and other traumatic
incidents. The teleconference is intended for
both professionals and laypeople who deal with
young people.
This program is offered free of
charge. Continuing Education credits are
available for a wide range of professions. For
more information about the teleconference,
contact the University Outreach and Extension
Center in Carthage at 417-358-2158.
Fifth
Annual Relay For Life.
news release American Cancer
Society
Im sure everyone at
sometime or another has been directly or
indirectly involved with someones fight
with cancer. You felt helpless, nothing you could
do, well heres your chance.
The Fifth Annual Relay for Life
will be held June 9th and June 10th at Central
Park in Carthage. We are in the need for teams.
Community members from businesses, schools,
churches as well as cancer survivors, their
families and friends, all come together to fight
this nasty disease.
We need teams of 8 to 15 people
(the more you have the less you need to walk) to
pull together to walk through the night, rain or
shine. This is more than a fundraiser, this is a
celebration of those people who have beat the
odds and for those who have not.
This is a fun-filled weekend to
be had by all. For more information please
contact Nancy at 358-3560, Lana at 359-8120,
Teresa at 359-5702 or the American Cancer Society
at 624-6808.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Ive never been to a
toothpick factory. Now Ive whittled a
few in my day, but I can imagine they use the
same technique as I do ta fill all those
boxes they sell everday.
I suppose the same folks
that make toothpicks branch out into other
fields such as match sticks and maybe even
pencils.
In Army C rations they used
ta have a little wood tooth brush of sorts.
Ya chew on it for a while ta make it soft and
then used it ta brush your teeth.
I suppose they still make
those flat toothpicks. Ive always
preferred the round ones. The main advantage
of course bein youve got two
pickin ends. Twice the picks for the
same money. Course I can see the advantage of
the flat ones if youre on a boat, they
dont roll off the table.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
McCune Brooks Hospital
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Weekly Column
Health Notes
Health &
Nutrition by Judith SheldonApril is National STD
Awareness Month. During these 30 days, health
authorities, such as the American Social Health
Association (ASHA), will make a concerted effort
to alert people to the growing incidences of
sexually transmitted diseases, especially among
young adults and teenagers.
According to a release from
ASHA, among the 12 million new infections
reported in the United States each year,
two-thirds occur in people under 25; one fourth
of the cases are being found in teenagers.
STDs are more common in the
United States than allergies, arthritis, or lung
disease. The facts are, STDs can be prevented;
many are curable; and most can be treated.
However, its important to
know that adolescents contracting an STD
infection could well be affected by them
throughout their lives. For example, the STDs
that are caused by viruses, such as genital
herpes, human papillomavirus (HPV), hepatitis B,
and HIV/AIDS are, so far, incurable. HPV may also
be involved with cervical cancer.
The two most common bacterial
infections, chlamydia and gonorrhea, are curable,
but can cause severe side effects, including
infertility, if not diagnosed and treated early.
Knowledge is always the best
ally against disease. People of all ages need to
learn the facts about STDs.
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Copyright 1997-1999 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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