The Mornin' Mail is
published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 28, 2000 Volume IX, Number 135
did ya
know?
Did Ya Know?. . .The Carthage Recycling Drop-off Center and
Composting Lot will be closed for the New Year Holiday,
Tuesday, January 2, 2001. The Center, 1309 Oak Hill Road,
will be back to its normal schedule after the holidays.
Did Ya Know?. . .The Carthage
Public Library will be closed on New Years Day.
Did Ya Know?. . .The Powers
Museum will be closed during January and February. Anyone
needing information from the museums library and
archives during this shutdown period may call
417-358-2667 or email info@powersmuseum.com to make an
appointment with the museums curator. The museum
will re-open on March 2, 2001.
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today's laugh
There was a terrible mishap at the
circus yesterday.
The lion tamer needed a tamer lion.
A man complains to a psychiatrist that
he goes around biting his nails all the time. The
psychiatrist says, "Thats not so bad."
The man says, "But Im a carpenter!"
A second-grader is heard saying a
terrible four-letter word by his teacher. She admonishes
him, "You shouldnt use a word like that. You
dont even know what it means."
The second-grader says, "Sure I do. It means that
the car wont start."
1900
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Was a Story of
Hypnosis.
The "Hindoo Hoodoo" last
night at the Grand was the story of a disciple of
Mahatma, an Indian sorcerer, who hypnotized two men and
sent their souls to the stars, then called one of them
back and sent it into the wrong man, when his occult
power failed. The play then was a series of funny breaks,
in love and business, made by one man who thought he was
somebody else.
A fair-sized audience attended. The two
leading parts were well played and the support was quite
good. The audience was kept in an almost constant laugh
from start to finish.
Fred Blair is very thankful to several
friends who on Christmas sent a turkey and some other
articles to his old father, Berry Blair, who has been
sick for over a year past and is partially paralyzed,
depending on his son for support.
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Today's Feature
Expanded
Sunday Rides.
The City Council swaggered
through the modification of the ordinance
regulating the sale of packaged liquor during the
regular Council meeting Tuesday evening in City
Hall. The Public Safety Committee had voted 2-1
to recommend the hours of sale remain from 1
until midnight on Sundays. Committee Chair H.J.
Johnson put that recommendation before the
Council in the form of a motion. After some
discussion, Council member Don Stearnes moved to
amend the motion to change the hours from noon to
midnight. The amended motion passed 5-4. Member
Larry Ross was absent.
Members Johnson, Fortune,
Boyer, McPheeters, and Stearnes voted for.
Bastin, Whitledge, Dunaway, and Clark voted
against. The amended motion then passed with a
6-3 vote. Dunaway had stated earlier he could
accept the noon opening time and voted with the
other five in favor.
The change will require a
Council bill and approval of the bill will take
six votes.
The Council also voted
unanimously to accept an offer of donated land
from Precious Moments just north of their motel
as a site for a new fire substation.
MGE Offers Help
For Higher Gas Bills.
news release
Due to extreme temperatures and
nationwide increases in the price of natural gas,
most customers are receiving bills that are
substantially higher than bills received during
the same period last year and bills received last
month.
Missouri Gas Energy is
confident that gas usage amounts reflected on its
customers bills are correct. MGE began
using an automated meter reading system several
years ago to ensure the accuracy of its bills.
Sharp decreases in temperatures
have resulted in the use of much more gas to heat
homes. According to weather data, November 2000
was the sixth coldest November on record,
compared to November 1999, which was the second
warmest. On average, MGE customers used nearly
100 percent more gas in November 2000 than they
did in November 1999. Those usage increases,
combined with the increased cost of gas, are
causing customers total bills to increase
an average of 150 percent compared to the same
period last year.
In addition, customers are
experiencing sizable increases in their current
bills when compared to the previous months
bills. Those higher bills are also a result of
the colder temperatures.
"Gas customers across the
Midwest are experiencing big increases in their
bills," said Paul Snider, spokesperson for
Missouri Gas Energy. "And the reason for
that is the very cold weather weve had and
the higher prices for natural gas."
Snider said that if customers
expect to have diffculties paying their bills,
they should contact the company to set up a pay
arrangement. The company said the best way to
guard against spikes in bills is to enroll in its
ABC level payment plan. Customers can enroll in
the plan over the phone by calling a special
automated line at (816) 360-5763. Customers
should have their name, address and account
number available when calling.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I keep lookin
at the extended weather forecast
hopin for a glimmer of hope.
For the last several years there has
always been a 60 degree day somewhere
out there. All Im seein
now is twenty-somethin.
The good news is
that the lows arent
gettin extreme, stayin
above aught.
Course when
the cold snap started folks were
encouraged cause it meant the
grasshoppers, fleas and other
critters wouldnt be as bad come
spring. Im thinkin that
bright spot has pretty well been used
up by now.
Im sure that
some businesses are bein helped
by the extended cold, but in general
I hear retailers are slowed a mite.
Probly a good time ta be
pricin that ski boat.
This is some fact,
but mostly,
Just Jake
Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column
Click & Clack
TALK CARS
by Tom & Ray Magliozzi
Dear Tom & Ray:
My 1994 Olds Cutlass Ciera has
been a great car for 50,000 miles. Im
wondering if it could be made to handle a little
better. Its a little bouncy and it sways a
little when it corners. Do you think if I got the
right combination of new tires and shocks it
would corner like a Corvette? And if it starts
handling like a Corvette, will women suddenly
become more interested in me? Or do I need to
start smoking a pipe and wearing a smoking jacket
and ascot for that? -AJ
RAY: My brother used to wear an
ascot. But then he got his ascot in the fan one
day, and that was the end of that.
TOM: You cant make this
handle like a Corvette, AJ! Cmon! This car
doesnt have a very sophisticated suspension
to begin with. It doesnt have four-wheel
independent suspension, nor does it have a
particularly stiff chassis. So no matter what you
do to it, no ones ever going to mistake it
for a sports car.
RAY: However, new tires and
"working" shocks will make a big
difference if you need them. So thats the
place to invest some money if you feel it used to
handle better than it does now. But get someone
to check the shocks and tires for you first.
TOM: One other important thing
about the Corvette, AJ. Weve discovered
through meticulous research that Corvettes ( and
cars like them), contrary to popular belief, do
not attract the attention of women. They tend to
attract the attention of men, who THINK they
attract the attention of women. Women tend to be
frightened or intimidated by them.
RAY: Dont get me wrong.
This Cutlass Ciera of yours is no babe magnet.
But if you really want womens attention get
something cute like a Miata, RAV 4, or a puppy.
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Copyright 1997-2000 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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