today's
laugh
Joe and Fred are in a
store when it is held up. As the holdup man searches
various customers for valuables, Joe whispers to Fred,
"Take this."
"Take what?"
The twenty I owe you."
I’ll give you an idea of how cheap
he is. Last week, he and his wife went to the mall with
the baby.
His wife went in to shop, and when she
got out, she looked and said, "It’s not our
baby in this carriage."
He said, "I know, but these wheels
are better."
They’re a very cautious couple.
They’ll never fly in the same plane. In a department
store, they won’t even ride the same escalator.
1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Gunning
Will Probated.
The will of the late James Gunning, of
north of Oronogo, was probated today. He wills his two 80
acre tracts of land to his wife, Sarah Gunning, to be
held by her for her use as long as she lives and remains
single. At her death or marriage the property all goes to
his children, share and share alike.
They are William S., Lewis F., Clarence
E., James S., Mrs. Jennie B. Jones and Mrs. Mary A.
Jones. The will is dated Nov. 29, 1892, and is witnessed
by Isaac Fountain and N.C. Fountain. The widow, Sarah
Gunning, is made executor.
A Change in Night
Clerks.
E. E. Cooper, who has for several weeks
been holding the position as night clerk at the Arlington
hotel, has resigned his position and resumed his place as
machinist for the Blanket Vein Zinc Co., at Center
Valley, a crippled hand which he was nursing having
recovered so he could work. The position of night clerk
is being filled by W.G. Winn, a young man who two weeks
ago moved here with his mother from Springfield and
resides at 317 South Bois De Arc street. His step father
W.C. Duval, has had a position at the power house at
Lakeside for a year and moved his family here for
convenience.
The Shamrock to Make
a Turn-In.
The Shamrock Mining Co. composed of
Carthage people, is putting in a platform, sluiceway and
jigs at the Shamrock mine, located on Turkey creek, this
side of Joplin. J.H. Lawrence, the manager of the mine,
is in Joplin today buying material for these
improvements.
The company has about 25 or 30 tons of
stuff, which will clear up 10 tons of good jack. The
first turn-in will be made next week. The mine is
prospering and promising.
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Today's Feature
Small Group
Fees Reduced.
The Public Services Committee,
during its regular meeting last Monday evening,
raised no objections to a plan by Parks
Administrator Alan Bull to change the structure
of the park shelter reservation fees.
According to Bull, since 1993
the fee for reserving a park shelter has been $75
for groups of over 100 people, and $50 for less
than 100 people. Bull felt small family gathering
of ten or twenty people were paying too much. His
recommendation was to drop the fee for smaller
groups to $25 while increasing the fee for large
groups to $100.
"We are about even on
both," said Bull, "so it we are not
looking at a whole lot of changes in
revenue."
Bull emphasized these are not
rental fees.
"We tell everybody,"
said Bull, "this is not a rental fee. This
is a reservation fee to guaranty that particular
shelter is available for the time they want
it."
Committee Chair J.D. Whitledge
said he felt this policy was part of the internal
management of the Parks Department.
The Committee agreed it would
not have to be brought to the Council.
Business
Location For Rent
Across
Lyon Street from the new Jasper County Annex II
213
Lyon Street, Suite 1
Next
to Carthage Printing Services
Just One
Block Off the Square in Carthage, Missouri
Plenty of
Excellent Parking • ADA Compliant Entry and
Rest room
Approximately
1,400 Square Feet
Recent Complete
Renovation
New Roof •
New Wiring Inside/3 phase 220 to Building
New Drywall
& Ceiling Tile
New Central Heat
& Air • New Insulation Throughout
Private Front
& Rear Entrance
Convenient to
Downtown, Courthouse, Post Office and Banks
If you’re looking for a
respectable place to do business, call
Heritage
Publishing
417-358-3160
Or Stop By
213 Lyon
Street, Suite 2 • Carthage, Missouri 64836
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Someday I want to meet
somebody.
I was made acutely aware of
this unseen person over the holidays.
"Somebody needs to go
get ice."
"Somebody took the
last piece of pecan pie."
‘Course typically
somebody really means anybody but me.
I even heard the voice a
few times. I rattled the door to the bathroom
and I heard, "Somebody’s in
here."
It’s dirty work, but
somebody’s got to do it.
‘Course lots of folks
would like ya ta think they are somebody, but
few have the guts to stand up and take
responsibility for their actions. Put an end
to this little game once and for all.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column
Click and Clack
Talk Cars
Dear Tom and
Ray:
Oh boy! Here goes..My boss left
to go to Japan on vacation. My boyfriend and I
moved into his luxurious home to housesit and
feed his prized cats. He also said I could drive
his 1992 Mercury Sable station wagon to work
— an immense step up from my dirty old VW
camper van.
All went well for us until one
of the cats turned up missing. We still
can’t find her. The blender’s motor
burned out last night in mid-fruit mix. A piece
of expensive artwork fell out of its frame and
the corner of the painting was badly cracked.
NOW, this morning, I was
driving the Sable to work and after stopping at a
stoplight, I press the accelerator and nothing
happens. In fact, it starts rolling backwards.
After a few seconds, it jerks into gear and
I’m off. This happened all the way to work.
I checked the transmission fluid and it was OK. I
called the Mercury dealers in town and was
floored to find out that it’s going to cost
me $2,400 to replace the transmission. My boss is
back in a week, and I have bitten my nails down
to the bone. I fear my job is at stake, or at
least he will never let me in his house again.
Please let me know if I should go ahead with the
transmission replacement, or what to do. —
Jena.
RAY: Jena, do you have an
updated resume?
TOM: Actually, I’m not
worried about the car. It’s highly unlikely
that you could have done anything in a week to
ruin the transmission. More likely, it’s
been wearing out since 1992, and you were just
unlucky enough to be driving it the week it went
from bad to worse.
RAY: So forget about the car.
It’s the cat I’m worried about.
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Copyright 1997-1999 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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