today's laugh
Two Irishmen met once, and referred to the illness of a
third.
"Poor Michael Hogan! Faith, Im afraid
hes going to die," said one.
"And why would he die?" asked the other.
"Oh, hes got so thin! Youre thin enough,
and Im thinbut, by my sowl, Michael Hogan is
thinner than both of us put together."
The insurance adjuster who had been
investigating the fire turned to go.
"I came down here to find out the cause of this fire
and I have done so," he remarked.
"Thats what I want to know. What caused
it?" remarked the house owner.
"Its a plain case of friction."
"What-ya-meanfriction?"
"The fire was undoubtedly caused by rubbing a three
thousand dollar insurance policy on a two thousand dollar
house."
Said an Irish justice to a blustering
prisoner on trial; "We want nothing from you, sir,
but silence, and very little of that."
1900
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
The Maiden Turn-In.
The "Three Ps" Mining
company, composed of Messrs. Paulding, Prince, Post and
Mooneyham, of this city, made the maiden turn-in from
their Lead Hill mine last Saturday. It consisted of 2700
pounds of big lump lead. There is a lot of small lead on
hand not yet cleaned up which will figure in a future
turn in.
The ladies of Carthage who heard Mrs.
Burger at the W.C.T.U. institute in Joplin yesterday were
delighted with her. Her manners are sweet and winning,
and although she has spoken in public for years, she
impresses one as a young lady in looks and general
appearance.
W.K. Regan and wife went to Springfield
last night, and from there will go to the Chalybeate
springs at Paris, in Lawrence county, to spend several
weeks for the benefit of Mr. Regans health.
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Today's Feature
Street Projects This Year.
The City has notified
Missouri Gas Energy of several street projects
scheduled for the upcoming year. This
notification is an attempt to coordinate any gas
line cuts on those streets after repairs are
completed. Although the City goes through this
precaution each year, typically street cuts are
still necessitated by gas line replacement.
Streets scheduled for overlay
include:
Francis Street - North Francis
Street from Central Avenue to High Street.
Maple Street - Maple Street
from Central to 7th Street.
Hazel Avenue - Hazel Avenue
from Centennial Avenue to Fairview Avenue
Ridgecrest Street - Ridgecrest
Street from River Street to Pearl Street.
Lillie Drive - Lillie Drive
from River Street to Pearl Street.
Wendy Lane Paving - Wendy Lane
from Pearl Street to Buena Vista Avenue.
Olive Street - Olive Street
from Garrison Avenue to Parsons Street.
The Carthage Street Department
maintains a list of streets to be resurfaced over
the next several years and works through the list
as funds are made available.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Ive only got into
poison ivy once that I know about. As a kid
out huntin, I apparently laid down in a
ripe growth. It covered my stomach area.
The real battle is ta get
it to stop itchin long enough ta let it
heal. In other words, the less ya do the
better off ya are.
This is of course
completely opposite of the procedure for the
small cuts or abrasions that kids come up
with. In that instance there needs ta be an
effort to clean and cover, watch for
infection and spreadin. When a cut
started itchin a little, it was a good
sign usually. Meant it was healin up.
Sometimes its not so
clear whether an itch needs scratchin
or ignorin. Sometimes it comes down to
will power or knowledge, but usually just
dumb luck.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
McCune Brooks Hospital
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Weekly Column
Health Notes
Health &
Nutrition by Judith Sheldon
PAIN
RELIEVERS: There are four types of
over-the-counter pain relievers: aspirin,
acetaminophen, ibuprofen, and naproxen sodium.
They all work, but not all of them may be what
you need. Heres a brief description of
each:
Aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid).
It works by suppressing hormone-like substances
that regulate body temperature, induce uterine
contractions, clot blood, and regulate blood
vessel constriction.
Thats why its
usually helpful for fever, menstrual cramps,
headache pain, muscle pills and minor arthritis.
Aspirin is not recommended for people with
gastrointestinal problems, ulcers, uncontrolled
hypertension, liver or kidney disease or bleeding
disorders.
Acetaminophen. Also relieves
moderate pain and fever, probably by acting on
nerve endings to suppress pain. Its an
alternative for those who cannot tolerate
aspirin.
Ibuprofen and naproxen sodium
both work like aspirin, but are stronger. Anyone
with the same problems that can be affected by
aspirin, should avoid those two drugs as well.
Although these pain killers are
sold over the counter, its a good idea to
keep intake to 10 days or less. If symptoms
persist, see your doctor.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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