today's laugh
The stalled car sat dead still at a traffic light as the
lights went to red, to green, to yellow, to red, to
green, to yellow, to red.
Finally a cop came up and said,
"Pardon me, sir, but dont we have any color
you like?"
A tiger was walking through the jungle
one day and saw two men relaxing under a tree. One was
reading a newspaper, and the other was working feverishly
on a manual typewriter.
The tiger leapt on the man with the
newspaper, and ate him up. The tiger did not bother the
other man at all. Thats because any predator knows
that readers digest and writers cramp.
1900
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Woodmen of the World,
Take Notice.
There will be a special meeting at
Waters hall of Evergreen camp No. 4, tomorrow night, to
initiate candidates in the protective degree. Messr.
Anderson and Cummings are having splendid success in
securing applications, having secured 15 in one day,
which means that men are only looking for protection for
their families that will not fail them after they are
dead and gone. The record of the Woodmen of the World is
one that no Woodman need blush to compare with any order,
for it is absolutely clean, and no heartbroken widow in
this land can raise her voice and say, "You failed
to do what you promised my husband you would do."
Every claim is paid in full without contest, and a $100
monument built at each dead members grave beside,
so come out tomorrow night and bring some neighbors.
Messrs. Anderson and Cummings go to Webb City tonight on
business connected with the order. Consul Commander
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Today's Feature
Budget Approved - Rezone Fails.
The City Council
approved the Budget Committee recommended budget
for the fiscal year 2000/20001 at the regular
Council meeting Tuesday evening. Member H.J.
Johnson was the lone dissenting vote, objecting
to placing funds in the general fund that were
received from an insurance claim on the burned
Street Department maintenance building. Johnson
wanted the $106,000 received to be applied toward
a replacement building. The budget appropriates
only $42,000 with plans to lease/purchase the
remainder over a five year period.
In other business the Council
failed to accept the recommendation of the
Planning, Zoning, and Historic Preservation
Commission to rezone property located at 918 W.
Centennial from District B, (duplexes) to
District O (non-retail, apartments). The property
is owned by Bill Wilson. The vote was 5-4 in
favor, but ordinances require a majority of all
ten sitting Council members i.e. six votes.
Member Bill Fortune was absent.
The Council also authorized a
contract with Joyce Liggett of Pro-100 Realtors
to serve as negotiator for purchase of new
airport property. The vote was 6-3.
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![](/images/jake.gif) |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
If ya havent already
made plans for the fourth, ya might wanna
take a good look at the activities goin
on here in Carthage. If ya dont wanna
be locked in for the full day of activities,
there will be a variety of things for all
ages startin early in the mornin
till the fireworks display at after
sunset.
Beins how the weather
has been a little humid the last couple a
weeks, the City is buyin insurance in
case a rain so they wont get soaked.
You wont have any guarantees, but
Im guessin the rain wont be
anywhere in sight, so get the family together
for an old fashioned afternoon in Municipal
park.
There is entertainment
scheduled all afternoon and plenty of games
and activities for the kids. Ya might even
get the chance to shake the hand of a local
politician.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column
CLICK
& CLACK
TALK CARSby Tom & Ray Magliozzi
I have been told that adding
seven or eight naphthalene mothballs to a tank of
gasoline increases the octane. Is this true? If
it is true, what will it do to the engine of the
vehicle? -Donald
RAY: Thats an excellent
question, Donald. This "mothball" story
has been around as long as we have. So
immediately upon receiving your letter we called
in the illustrious Dr. Jim Davis, Ph.D., director
of the chemistry labs here at Car Talk Plaza, to
try to get a definite answer. And Jim said
hed get right on it.
TOM: Two months later, he
called us and apologized for the delay, which he
said was unavoidable due to a two-month-long
faculty meeting that had just ended at Harvard,
where he moonlights.
RAY: Anyway, after several
months of study, and the complete depletion of an
otherwise useful NIH grant, Jim has concluded
that this mothball story is basically a bunch of
horse pie.
TOM: There are several
different types of mothballs on the market, none
of which, to his knowledge, do anything to
improve the performance of gasoline. They WILL
burn, so you will get some power out of them. But
since mothballs are more expensive than gasoline,
this is not a very economical way to get to work,
Donald.
RAY: Some mothballs even
produce HCI, hydrochloric acid, as a by-product.
And pumping HCI through your engine and exhaust
system is probably not very good for its
longevity.
TOM: The only thing Jim will
guarantee is that, if you put mothballs in your
gas tank, any sweaters you store in there will be
moth free.
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