today's laugh
My dog is taking an
advanced course at obedience school. He knows how to
fetch, heel stay, and now hes learning how to fax.
He had absolutely no luck. He went out
and bought a fancy watch. It was shatterproof,
breakproof, and waterproof.
He lost it!
He once went on a guilt trip and lost
his luggage.
McGee has himself too much brew and
passes out. Hes so stiff, the crowd at the bar
calls the undertaker, and McGee is put in a coffin.
A few hours later, he wakes and says to himself, "If
Im alive, why am I in this coffin? And if Im
dead, how come I have to go to the john?
1900
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
For
Railroad Commissioner.
Ex-State Senator R.A. Love is a
candidate for railroad commissioner. Mr. Love, although
of Jackson county, has a wide acquaintance in St. Louis
and over the state and believes that he stands a good
show of winning out this time. Col. Joseph Mercer, who
was defeated for a similar position at Springfield, it is
said, may come out for the same place.
Installation of
Officers.
Last night the Select Knights and
Ladies of America installed their newly elected officers
as follows:
C.K., C.B. Armstrong; C.K. Mary
Elliott; recording secretary, Emma Knell; Permanant
Secretary, I.F. Shannon; Master-at-Arms, M. Alexander;
I.G., Agnes Griep; O.G., M. Knowles; Treasurer, Mollie
Armstrong; Chaplain, C.R. Budlong.
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Today's Feature
Truck
Gets Repairs-Police Get Gas.
Fire Chief John Cooper reported
to the Public Safety Committee last Monday
evening that damage to Fire Engine 612 may not be
as bad as initially thought. The damage, caused
by a civilian vehicle sliding into the parked
truck on north Garrison, did not severely damage
the water pump as originally thought. Repairs to
the pump and body damage are still estimated to
cost about $11,000. If the pump had been
destroyed, repairs may have been as high as
$35,000. Cooper estimated, the engine should be
back in service in a week or two.
The Committee voted to
recommend that the Council allow the Farmers
Market, sponsored by Main Street Carthage, to
operate from April through October 2000.
The Committee also asked that
Chair Charlie Bastin officially notify the
Council that Police services will not be hampered
by gas price increases. Police Chief Dennis Veach
reported that his expenditures for fuel may run
approximately $3,000 over budget by the end of
the fiscal year. City Administrator Tom Short
noted that the overall Police Department budget
should be able to absorb the fuel overrun.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
The Public Safety Committee
voted Monday evening to recommend to the
Council that an application for a grant be
submitted to the State for what would be
called a School Resource Officer. If
approved, the funding for the officers
salary, who would be assigned to the High
School and Junior High School, would be split
three ways by the City, State, and the R-9
School District.
Chief Veach thinks the
additional personnel would relieve officers
on regular duty from time consuming reports
and investigation of minor incidents that
occur around and in the schools.
The position would depend
on approval of the full Council, the School
Board, and of course the State grant. The
officer would be available for more
traditional duty durin the summer. Any
opinions?
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Carthage Printing Services
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Weekly Column
PRIME
TIME WITH KIDS
by Donna EricksonNEW LOOKS FOR
OLD DENIMS
If your kids threadbare
and outgrown blue jeans are ready for the rag
bag, give them a second life. Your school-age
kids will have a great time cutting up their
loyal denims and creating new uses for the sturdy
fabric.
Here are three new and clever
ideas:
ADD A SECRET
POCKET TO HIGH-TOP CANVAS SHOES.
Cut out the tiny top front
pocket of your jeans. Glue three edges of the
pocket, leaving the top open to the ankle of a
pair of high-top tennis shoes (Aleenes
Flexible Stretchable Fabric Glue works well.) The
pocket provides a place to tuck away coins for a
phone call or milk money. Your kids may want to
glue on more decorative embellishments, such as
colorful buttons or pieces of lace. Finish the
look with a few squiggles of fabric paint.
MAKE A
STORAGE POCKET ON A THREE-RING BINDER.
Cut out the large hip pocket
around the top stitching to keep both layers of
denim intact. Use stretchable fabric glue or
adhesive-backed interfacing to attach the pocket
to the front of a traditional fabric-covered
three-ring binder. The pocket will provide a
handy place to store pencils and pens.
SEW A THROW
PILLOW.
Let your teenager measure and
cut out an 18-inch x 18-inch square from the
front of a worn-out sports T-shirt, making sure
the logo of his/her favorite team is centered.
Sew together several rectangular strips of denim
(without holes) to make a single piece the same
dimensions as the square.
Pin the two squares with right
sides together. Stitch a 1/2-inch seam around the
edges, leaving an 8-inch opening. Turn right side
out, press, slip pillow form inside, and
handstitch closed.
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