today's laugh
"Im glad to find you as you
are," said the old friend. "Your great wealth
hasnt changed you."
"Well," replied the candid millionaire,
"it has changed me in one thing. Im now
eccentric where I used to be impolite, and
delightfully witty where I used to be
rude."
The man at the theater was annoyed by
the conversation in the row behind.
"Excuse me," he said, "but we cant
hear a word."
"Oh," replied the talkative one, "and is
it any business of yours what Im telling my
wife?"
Affable Waiter- "How did you find
that steak, sir?"
Guest- "Quite accidentally. I moved that piece of
potato and there it was, underneath."
1900
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
New
Suits Filed.
J.L. Shoemaker, through his attorney
Howard Gray enters suit for divorce from his wife, Leona,
whom he married in March, 1893. He charges that she
abandoned him in January, 1899.
Louisa Crane sues for divorce from
Isaac Crane, whom she married July 26, 1896. They
separated last November. She charges abuse and desertion.
Howard Gray is her attorney.
J.M. Oxendine sues the Concordia
Insurance Co., of Milwaukee, Wis., for $500 insurance on
a one story drug store building at Scotland, which burned
down on
May 31.
He states that he insured it with the
agent May 25 last and offered him the necessary $12.50
premium at that time, but that the agent offered to
charge it and did charge it, and now denies that it was
insured. Stonewall Pritchett is plaintiffs
attorney.
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Today's Feature
The Salvation Army
Serving
Annual Thanksgiving Dinner.
The Carthage Salvation Army
will be serving its annual Thanksgiving Dinner
from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day,
November 23rd, at the Fairview Christian Church.
The dinner is open to the public and is
especially intended to ensure that no one will be
hungry or lonely on Thanksgiving Day. The
Salvation Army would like to thank Fairview
Christian Church for their generosity in allowing
them to serve this dinner at their church located
at 2320 S. Grand Avenue, Carthage.
The Salvation Army is in need
of volunteers and food. Needed food items are:
turkeys, fresh potatoes, sweet potatoes, dinner
rolls, butter, canned green beans, boxed
stuffing, cranberry sauce, salad items, salad
dressing, coffee, fresh pies and other desert
items. If you would like to make a donation for
the Thanksgiving Dinner, you may drop it off at
The Salvation Army, 125 E. Fairview Avenue in
Carthage, from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., Monday
through Friday. If you are interested in
volunteering or for more information please
contact Capt. Nancy Crampton or Jennifer Ort at
(417) 358-2262.
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![](/images/jake.gif) |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I was sad to hear that
Steve Allen died. In one obit it
mentioned that he was in the Guinness
Book of World Records as the "most
prolific composer of modern times,"
having composed 8,500 songs including the
theme from "Picnic," "This
Could Be The Start of Something
Big," and "Gravy Waltz,"
for which he won a Grammy.
Writin one song a
day, five days a week, this feat would
take over forty years in itself. Along
with that accomplishment, Allen is
credited by some as bein the
inventor of the tv talk show, sides
just bein a funny guy.
Most of us get a little
gloomy considerin the amount of
effort we put into livin. Allen
seemed to thrive on makin the most
of ever minute.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column
Click & Clack
TALK CARS
by Tom & Ray Magliozzi
Dear Tom and Ray:
I want to buy a new or
recent-model car but I am very tall and
cant find one that allows me to see out of
the windshield without looking through the tinted
glass at the top. Some models have enough
headroom for me, but then I end up looking at the
world through that blue tint. Do you have any
suggestions for a sedan, minivan or utility
vehicle that might fit me? - Charles
Tom: This is a tough question
to answer, Charles, because everyones body
is different. Some people come with very long
legs. Some people come with long torsos.
Ray: Well, as a general rule,
Charles, trucks tend to have more headroom than
cars. So you might look at a sport utility
vehicle based on a truck, like the Ford Explorer.
Tom: And in our experience,
Japanese cars tend to be hard on taller people,
too. So if youre looking for a sedan,
youll probably be better off with a big
American or European model.
Ray: Finally, you should look
for something with a height-adjustable
drivers seat. The more adjustments you can
make, the greater the likelihood youll find
a comfortable driving position.
Tom: But if youve already
found a car you like that fits you, and the only
problem is that blue "sunscreen," we
have an even better solution for you. Just
replace the windshield.
Ray: Right. Most windshields
can be ordered with or without that screen. And
if the dealer wont order one for you on the
new car (which he probably would do in order to
make the sale), you can always go to an auto
glass place and order one yourself.
Tom: Check first to make sure
ones available on the car want, but that
solve you should your problem, Charles.
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Copyright 1997-2000 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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