| today's
        laugh Top 45
        Oxymorons: 45. Act naturally 44. Found missing 43. Resident alien 42. Advanced BASIC 41. Genuine imitation 40. Airline Food 39. Good grief 38. Same difference 37. Almost exactly 36. Government organization 35. Sanitary landfill 34. Alone together 33. Legally drunk 32. Silent scream 31. Living dead 30. Small crowd 29. Business ethics 28. Soft rock 27. Butt Head 26. Military Intelligence 25. Software
        documentation 24. New classic 23. Sweet sorrow 22. Childproof 21. "Now, then
        ..." Continued
        Monday.............. 
 1910 INTERESTING MELANGE.
 A Chronological Record of Events as they have
        Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
 Moved a Large Tree. J.S. Caudle with only one helper has
        just completed a job of tree moving of rather unusual
        magnitude. He transferred a hard maple tree 12 inches in
        diameter about 80 feet from one part of Steve
        Chitwoods yard to another. Mr. Chitwood wishes to
        erect a new barn, and as the tree was in the way he had
        it moved up near the house, where its shade will be very
        agreeable. Before being trimmed it was over 30 feet high,
        and nearly large enough to make a saw log. A Fine
        Guitar. McFarland and Hall have just received
        an auditorium sized, Washington guitar which cost $25.
        This is something entirely novel in this line, and the
        gentlemen say that no such instrument has ever been
        brought here before. E.O. Burrel has purchased it. 
            
                |  | Today's Feature Only Two Contested races. The deadline for filing for
                Jasper County elected offices passed last Tuesday
                resulting in only two contested races for the
                August 3 primary. Incumbent Linda Williams will
                face Milissa Holcomb of Joplin for the Circuit
                Clerk nomination for the Republican party. No
                Democrats filed. Current Presiding Commissioner
                John Bartosh will have three individuals to
                retain his position.  David Troyer of Carthage, Jeff
                Hammons of Carl Junction, and James Ivan
                Pendergraft have all filed as candidates for the
                Republican party. No Democrats filed. Unopposed positions that are up
                for reelection include Associate Judge Division
                5, Richard Copeland; Associate Judge Division 4
                Joesph "Joe" Schoeberl; Associate Judge
                Division 6 Stephen P. Carlton; County Auditor
                Richard M. Webster, Jr.; Recorder Donna Grove;
                County Clerk Bonnie Earl; Prosecuting Attorney
                Dean G. Dankelson; and Collector of Revenue
                Stephen H. Holt. An Independent has also shown
                interest in the Commissioner seat, but wont
                have to file until the November election. 
 
 |  
                |  | Just Jake
                Talkin' Mornin',
 
                    Its amazin how
                    one person bein a jerk can mess up a
                    day. Made a quick stop at the
                    local grocery on the way home from work the
                    other day. Back out on the parkin lot,
                    happened to notice a fresh scrape on the
                    front fender. Not a big bang, just a little
                    impression bout ten inches long. The
                    bumper on the car sittin in the next
                    stall appeared to have a little fresh paint.
                    What a pain. The small insult
                    probly wont warrant the hassle of
                    goin to a body shop. A little extra
                    rubbin durin the next wax job
                    will probly make the injury
                    unnoticeable my most passersby, but
                    ever time the car gets washed, there
                    will be the reminder of the jerk who
                    wouldnt at least apologize for
                    wreckin my day. This is some fact, but
                    mostly, Just Jake Talkin. 
 |  
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                Carthage Printing | Weekly Columns artCentral ART
                NOTES from Hyde House by Sally Armstrong,
                Director of artCentral Outside the wind is blowing,
                but the sun is shining and we are looking for
                visitors today to view the beautiful sculptures
                being shown here at Hyde House, our first day!
                Last nights opening reception was a huge
                success, we again had a very large crowd in
                attendance, and all were very complimentary about
                the work being shown. Each of our three
                presenting sculptors, M. Justin Hale, Robin
                Putnam, and Bill Snow were present to discuss
                their works in wood, limestone, alabaster, and
                bronze. I want to again extend a special thanks
                to our friends at Locarni Marble for the
                underwriting of this exhibit and opening
                reception, with very special thanks to the
                extended family of Pat & Judy Goff for
                physically attending the entire evening as
                "servers", tending to the drinks, food
                table and kitchen. This is the first time that
                underwriters have offered this help, and it was
                most appreciated! But saving the "best for
                last", the Goffs not only underwrote
                the show with their business, Judy Goff actually
                cooked/baked the wonderful food for the
                reception, and what fantastic response she had.
                Several attendees have offered her the job of
                cooking for additional art receptions, if she
                would make again the delicious torte rusticia ( a
                wonderful flaky corn meal and flour crust with
                three cheeses, ham, and spinach baked inside) .
                She also made orange lace cookies, which were
                gone before the evening was over, and a fudge
                cookie that was superb! Thanks Judy for both the
                generosity of your time as well as effort in
                making last night truly a great success. Please
                visit our gallery for the next weekends, Friday
                through Sunday from noon to 5:00 to see this
                beautiful, locally created work. The exhibit
                remains in the gallery through April 11th. |  Copyright 1997-2010 by
        Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.    
             |