| today's
laugh Giving money
and power to government is like giving whiskey and car
keys to teenage boys.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday
of a yeast infection and complications from repeated
pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a
lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out
to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess
Twinkies and Cap’n Crunch. The grave site was piled
high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and
lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how
much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a
little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was
considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is
survived by his wife, Play Dough, his children, John and
Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also
survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was
held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
THE REMEDY TOO MUCH
FOR HIM.
Janitor
Purcell’s Experience with a Pipe as a Toothache
Cure.
Assistant
Janitor Purcell, of the court house, although a man whose
hair is streaked with gray, has just had his first
experience with tobacco, a "pleasure", usually
not so long deferred. He arose from his bed at the court
house the other night writhing in the agonies of a
terrible toothache. Drug stores were all closed; doctors
and dentists had all gone home; there seemed nothing to
do but hope for morning.
After walking
the corridors of the court house for two hours, unable to
sleep or lie down, his eyes happened to fall on Janitor
Davis’ pipe laying on a shelf. Roseate visions of
relief instantly took possession of his mind. In his
desperate plight all the stories he had ever heard
concerning the pain-killing power of tobacco passed in
review in his imagination. With a faith in nicotine equal
to that of the average citizen in whisky for snake bite,
he loaded and lit the pipe and puffed with a vigor which
one would naturally suppose would bring relief quickest.
He is not sure
whether the tobacco helped the toothache or simply made
him so sick he forgot all else, but his experience with
the remedy was the worse fate of the two. After
abandoning his supper in several installments, he finally
endured until morning, when he probably consulted a
dentist. He was looking very pale and haggard all the
next day and, of course his appearance excited comment,
so he had to "fess up."
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Today's Feature Maple Leaf
Festival Celebrates City’s Heritage.
News release - Planning
for the 44th Annual Maple Leaf Festival, hosted
by the Carthage Chamber of Commerce, is well
underway as the theme for this fall’s event
is unveiled. The theme, "Carthage: Heroes
and Heritage," was submitted by local
resident Corrine Waggoner and is meant to
showcase the abundance of local citizens, both
past and present, who have made significant
contributions to the community and its history.
This year’s theme coincides with the
commemoration of the sesquicentennial of the
Battle of Carthage.
"While many people are not
thinking about the Maple Leaf Festival this time
of year, our team of dedicated volunteers is well
along in planning for the week and all the events
included. We are excited to incorporate a variety
of those citizens who have helped build and shape
Carthage, from the Civil War through today in the
theme this year," says committee co-
chairperson Cheryle Finley.
The planning committee is now
accepting entries for the Maple Leaf Artwork
Contest to select the graphic design for the
festival..
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I suppose on average
ever’one has about the same kinda luck.
Some good days, some not so good. I suppose
most ‘member the bad luck more than
those times when ever’ thing went wrong.
My dad always advised given
plenty of time for travel, just in case ya
had a flat tire. I figure its good advise,
even though I can count on one hand the times
a tire went down durin’ a trip.
Considerin’ the amount a miles driven,
the chances are pretty slim.
Some I know are always
pessimistic. "It’d be just my
luck," they are fond of sayin’. I
suppose that kind a thinkin’ keeps
‘em outa trouble in a lota cases, but it
seems a lota opportunities are also
eliminated. The best advise I’ve heard
is to play your game and hope for a little
luck. Pay your money and takes your chances.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns
artCentral
ART
NOTES from Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
As we continue to celebrate our
25th anniversary year, another of our special
events will be the upcoming "5X5 Art Silent
Auction" which will begin on April
"25th"! Have you ever wanted to own an
original oil painting by Andy Thomas, Bob Tommey,
or Lowell Davis? How about an original watercolor
by Jerry Ellis? I have passed out small 5 inch by
5 inch canvases to most of our member artists,
about 80 in all, and they will be returning those
to me by the 17th completed. I anticipate some
wonderful surprises, as the artists are free to
paint in oil or watercolor, draw, or otherwise
use their own "media of choice" on
these canvases. Even the ceramic artists and
sculptors may use the canvas as a
"base" for 3-D work, as long as the
size does not exceed 5 inches in any direction.
As these pieces are displayed, a list will be
posted beside each, and bidders may come either
on the opening day, which will be a Sunday
afternoon, or any day the gallery is open there
after, to post a bid. The final bidding will
occur on the evening of May 15th, when we will
hold the actual evening reception and announce
the winners! I am very excited about what has
come back in already, and I know that this event
will be both fun and a wonderful way for the
community to purchase an original work by some of
your favorite local artists. More on this event
later, but in the meantime, time is running out
to sign up for the one day oil painting workshop
class to be taught by Dan McWilliams on April
17th. This will be a great opportunity for you to
learn under a truly gifted painter, and the class
will be small enough to allow a lot of individual
attention. Don’t forget, too, to come out
this weekend to see the wonderful sculpture
exhibition by the three current artists in the
gallery, M.Justin Hale, Robin Putnam, and Bill
Snow. This is a beautiful show and will be
closing after the 11th. We will be open Friday,
Saturday and Sunday noon to 5:00.
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