| today's
laugh "Dad," said Little Johnny,
"I’m late for football practice. Would you
please do my homework for me?"
The father said irately, "Son, it
just wouldn’t be right."
"That’s okay," replied
Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a
try, couldn’t you?"
During a January revival, an evangelist
asked the people in line what they needed. One man’s
request was for his hearing. The evangelist spit on his
finger, put it in the man’s ear, prayed for him and
then finally asked, "How’s your
hearing?"The man replied, "I don’t know.
It’s not until next Tuesday."
The body consists of three parts - the
brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The
brainium contains the brain. The borax contains the heart
and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels,
of which there are five - A, E, I, O, and U.
"When a man’s best friend is
his dog, that dog has a problem."-- Edward Abbey
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A NARROW ESCAPE.
Horse Lost
Its Head and Ran Into a Freight Train.
Yesterday afternoon as Dr. E.J. Burch
was coming into town from making a call in the country,
he saw what came very near being a serious accident at
the Missouri Pacific crossing, near the lower bridge.
James Smith and son of near Avilla were
driving what they thought was a perfectly safe horse and
approached the crossing just as the train came through.
For some unaccountable reason the horse lost its head and
ran square into the train. The flesh was torn from his
breast in deep gashes and the shafts of the buggy were
twisted off but otherwise the buggy was not injured. Mr.
Smith and son escaped without injury.
Certificate of incorporation was
yesterday filed showing the capitalization of the North
Shoe Mining Co. at $12,000.
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Today's Feature PRAIRIE DAY
The annual Prairie Day at
George Washington Carver National Monument will
be Saturday, September 11th, 2010 from 10:00 a.m.
to 3:00 p.m. This event is free of charge.
Prairie Day is a celebration of life on a
southwest Missouri farm during the mid-1860s
and1870s, the years of George Washington
Carver’s childhood.
Vistitor can take a horse-drawn
wagon ride through the prairie, learn about
African American life on the prairie and hear
Ozark folktales and legends from professional
storytellers, enjoy traditional music under the
big tent, watch a quilting bee in progress, and
dip a candle at the 1881 Moses Carver House. Many
other exhibits and activities will be available
across the park grounds.
A concession stand will be
operated by the Carver Birthplace Association
during the event and the visitor center will be
open from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. The monument is
located two miles west of Diamond, Missouri on
Highway V, then south ½ mile on Carver Road. For
more information, please call the park at
417-325-4151 between 9:00 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. or
visit the park website: www.nps.gov/gwca.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I saw the other day that
they are gettin’ close to bein’
able to make artificial diamonds. Seems there
have been several companies workin’ on
this for a lotta years.
These aren’t some
glass fakes, these are artificially produced
at the molecular level makin’ it hard
for even experts to tell the difference. The
question is raised as to whether it matters
if they are real or fake if there isn’t
any structural difference.
I’m sure it matters to
those who dig up the real thing. But to the
ever’day consumer these days,
probl’ly not. To quote onea the Beatles
in the animated movie "Yellow
Submarine", "It’s all in your
mind." For most, I’d have to assume
the jewel is more of a symbol than an
investment. But then, even Bugs Bunny likes
carats.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Carthage Printing Services |
Weekly
Columns
HERE’S A
TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• With school back in
session soon (if it’s not already), you can
save resources and money by reusing sandwich
bags. It seems like such a small thing, but if
you’re using the baggie for a sandwich, then
just wrap the sandwich in a paper towel (which
you can then use as a napkin) or a piece of waxed
paper before you stick it in the bag. You can use
the same sandwich bag all week long.
• "Smashed bugs come
right off of your windshield if you sprinkle
baking soda on a damp rag and rub them out with
the rag." -- G.T. in Arkansas
• Want to keep your
refrigerator operating efficiently? Try these two
small tricks: First, clean the gaskets on the
door, and replace them if they’re loose. If
you close a dollar bill in the door and can pull
it out easily, you need to replace the gaskets.
Then, stock empty space with jars or pitchers of
water. Cold water is refreshing and it helps keep
the air in your fridge cold.
• "To get rid of
static cling on a skirt and slip, just pin a
small safety pin to the inside of the hem. This
has worked for me." -- I.L. in California
• "Back-to-school
clothes shopping can be draining when you have a
preteen. I got tired of being the bad guy for
saying ‘no’ to high-priced items, so I
put my son in charge of his shopping budget. We
went together, and after we took care of the
essentials (undergarments, socks, etc.), he was
allowed to spend the rest in a fashion of his own
choosing. He quickly saw that one or two
high-dollar outfits would eat up his whole
budget. He splurged on one thing he loved and
spent the rest much more rationally -- without
any ugly looks or hard feelings!" -- R.G. in
North Carolina
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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