today's
laugh A woman, employed as a telemarketer, was making
phone calls to different households.
A little boy answered and whispered,
"Hello". The woman asked if his mother was
there. The little boy whispered, "Yes". The
woman asked if she could speak with her. The little boy
whispered, "No, shes busy."
The woman asked if his father was
there. The little boy whispered, "Yes". The
woman asked if she could speak with him. The little boy
whispered, "No, hes busy too." The woman
asked if anyone else was there and the little boy
whispered, "Yes, the fire department is here".
The woman said, "May I speak with one of them?"
The little boy whispered, "No, theyre all
busy."
The woman asked if anyone else was
there, the little boy whispered, "Yes, the police
department ". The woman said, "May I speak with
one of them?" The little boy whispered, "No,
theyre all busy too." The woman said,
"May I ask what theyre all doing?" The
little boy whispered, "Theyre all looking for
me."
You can listen to thunder after
lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If
you dont hear it, you got hit so never mind.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A
Small Blaze.
The fire department was called out
about 11 oclock this morning by an alarm of fire
from W. E. Halls residence on Garrison avenue. The
blaze was under the floor of a frame wash house which
stands next to the alley at the rear end of the lot. The
fire was due to the carelessness of a boy who was
cleaning the yard. He kindled a bonfire of trash in the
alley and the high wind carried the fire under the
building, igniting a lot of leaves and trash which blazed
briskly. A shout of fire from the alley gave Mrs. Hall
warning of the danger and she at once telephoned the
alarm to the fire department headquarters. The firemen
made a quick response and soon extinguished the fire. The
damage will not amount to anything owing to the pump work
of the firemen.
Dr. E.C. Knight of Chicago has gone on
to Wichita after a visit here with Ralph Goldstein.
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Today's Feature From the Minutes: McCune-Brooks Board
Meet.
"REVIEW OF
APRIL 2010 FINANCIAL STATEMENTS
Mr. Wright reviewed the April
financial statements with the trustees. Fiscal
year 2010 ended in a loss. The net operating loss
for the year was close to $4.7 million. A portion
of the loss was due to the fiscal year
adjustments and corrections. April Inpatient
volume numbers were lower due to the closing
ofthe Generations Department. Office visits for
physician clinics were above average for the
year. April current liabilities decreased
tremendously from the $4.0 (sic) bond payment.
April 2010 statements were
ordered filed for audit.
CONSULTANTS
PROPOSAL
As the hospital did not meet
the days cash on hand ratio required by the
bondholders, the bondholders have suggested the
hospital hire a consultant company that the
bondholders are familiar with to review hospital
operations. The two proposals were reviewed. On
motion made by Mr. McDonald and seconded by Ms.
Flanigan a motion to accept the bid from QHR was
unanimously approved."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
From what Ive read,
retirement aint what it used ta be.
They say a lotta folks just keep on
goin, and goin and goin.
By the year 2050, there are
supposed ta be over twice as many over the
age of 65 livin in the U.S. as there
are now. That means that a large block of
voters will be old enough ta know better I
suppose.
They say that the big
business types are tryin ta figure out
what this enlarged mass of maturity will be
buyin and what their eatin habits
and entertainment interests will be. Id
have ta guess that like most groups of
consumers, theyll know it when they see
it.
Women seem ta be noticeably
outlivin the men folk and difference
seems ta be increasin. I wont
make any speculation on that statistic at
all.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Columns
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Roof Brackets Make
Repair Jobs Safer
Q: When you write about fixing
gutters or stuff on the roof, you always say to
secure yourself with a rope so you dont
fall. But where exactly is a person supposed to
secure the rope? -- Dale J., Dothan, Ala.
A: Many home repair guides will
tell you to secure the rope to a sturdy feature
-- like the chimney. Im not too comfortable
with telling people to tie a rope around their
chimney, because theyre not always as
sturdy and secure as one might think. A chimney
thats crumbling or leaning is definitely
unsafe (in a lot of ways, not the least of which
is to the roof worker).
For a roof with a low pitch (an
angle thats not too steep), roof brackets
can be installed during repair work. These are
slipped underneath shingles, about a foot and a
half up the roof eave, and nailed directly into a
rafter (so they are anchored securely). Multiple
brackets are spaced about 4 feet apart.
During the job, your safety
rope (or ideally, a roof safety harness) is
attached to a bracket. The rope itself should not
be so long that you cant pull yourself back
onto the roof or over to the ladder should you
slip off the edge. Once the job is finished, the
brackets are removed and the shingles cemented
back down.
Again, the brackets work most
effectively on low-pitch roofs. If your
homes roof is very steep, or if the roof is
several stories up, dont attempt roof
repairs yourself. Contact a professional roofer
to handle the job -- hell have the tools,
the helpers and the safety equipment to match
what your roof requires.
HOME TIP: Tape a flashlight to
the wall or floor joist near the entrance to the
attic, so it will immediately be available for
you to use when checking dark corners.
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