today's
laugh A rolled up newspaper
can be an effective training tool when used properly. For
instance, use the rolled-up newspaper if your dog chews
up something inappropriate or has a housebreaking
accident. Bring the dog over to the destroyed object (or
mess), then take the rolled-up newspaper... and hit
yourself over the head as you repeat the phrase,
"I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG, I
FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG!"
My uncle just told us his latest
response when telemarketers call to urge him to switch
long distance phone services.
He says "I dont have a
phone."
They usually say "Oh, Im
sorry." and hang up.
Things You Never Hear in Church
1. Hey! Its my turn to sit in the
front pew.
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed
your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much
more enjoyable than golf.
4. Ive decided to give our church
the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent
teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum
salary, lets pay our pastor so he can live like we
do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns
Ive never heard before!
8. Since were all here,
lets start the service early.
9. Pastor, wed like to send you
to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens
my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
O. S. DURFEE GOES TO PRISON.
Gets Eight Years for
Misusing U.S. Funds in Cuba.
O. S. Durfee, a former Carthage man,
has been sentenced to eight years in prison for
misappropriation of $4,400 of United States funds in
Cuba. He was a civil engineer at work on the sewer system
of Havana, and when found $99 short refused to pay, but
demanded an investigation to prove his innocence. The
investigation showed him to be $4,400 short in his
accounts, and the sentence was passed. Durfee claimed to
have been representing a corporation, or other parties,
and the case is described in the city papers as a very
pathetic one.
Durfee is well known by old timers
here. He was once a Missouri Pacific surveyor here, also
a woolen mill bookkeeper, and was married here. His
present home is Matoon, Ill.
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Today's Feature New Golf Carts
on Agenda.
The City Council Public
Services Committee is recommending that the
Council approve the lease/purchase for 50 new
golf carts. The Council is scheduled to meet for
its regular meeting tomorrow evening.
According to minutes of the
Committee meeting it was explained that the low
bid would be Yamaha if they could be purchased
before January 1. If not, then the low bid would
be the Club Car OS. Club Car, in their proposal,
had also offered a range/utility vehicle and a
self contained beverage vehicle at no charge.
Even though these were used vehicles they have
value and would actually allow use of two carts
that are normally used for the range or
marshalling. This was not asked for in the bid
request, it was just offered as part of their
bid. Park Director Alan Bull felt the City should
look at the another Club Car bid that included
the Precedence car. Mr. Bull and Golf Course
Manager Mark Peterson both felt the City would
get "more bang for the buck" with this
car. Their research found that the trade-in value
of these runs from $100 to $200 more per car. Mr.
Bull said the City could purchase the better car
and the yearly payments would be lower than the
last lease purchase on the trade in cars.
Committee member Lee Carlson
moved to recommend the Council approve the
purchase of fifty Precedence golf cars from Clear
Creek Vehicles in the amount of $105,675.00.
Motion carried with member Charlie Bastin voting
no.
The committee also voted to
recommend a lease/purchase agreement. There were
six bids with UMB Bank being the low bidder at 3%
interest and fees not to exceed $25.00.
The motion carried with Bastin
abstaining.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Ive never had one of
those ant farms. You know, the little plastic
jobs with a green top and base. Ya fill it up
with dirt and throw in a handful of ants and
watch em go.
I suppose most folks have
an aversion to insects crawlin round
anywhere in their house, let alone out on the
coffee table or a book shelf.
Ive spent more time
than Id probly care to admit
watchin ants though. I never did figure
out where they were all goin in such a
hurry.
I suppose its like
the guy on Laugh In used to say, "I like
dogs better than fleas because ya dont
have to bend over so far to pet them."
I bet a rolly-polly farm or
a tater bug farm would be a lot a fun too,
only a little slower paced than those hyper
ants.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Columns
Stringing Lights
Q: Every year, we string
outdoor lights not just around the edge of the
roof but around the backyard, trees, etc. This
year I noticed that about half the lights I
strung did not light up when I turned them on.
The lights seem to stop working in the middle of
the string. Whats going on? -- Buster in
Altamonte Springs, Fla.
A: Grab some replacement bulbs
(the same type and size, rated for outdoor
lights) and start following the strings to the
first bulb that isnt lit. Take a close look
at the bulb -- if you can see a tiny dark spot in
the middle or the glass is generally darker than
that of nearby bulbs, youve probably
located your burnt bulb. Another more telling
clue is that the entire string beyond the bulb is
also not lighting up.
The reason the string behind
the burned-out bulb doesnt light is because
in most Christmas light strings, the bulb
assemblies act as individual fuses. When a bulb
burns out -- the filament inside the glass
breaks, preventing electricity from traveling
along it -- the bulb acts as a circuit breaker of
sorts and stops electricity from conducting all
the way along the wire.
In newer strands, youll
see the lights go out behind the burned-out bulb
but work up to that point. Older light strands
would completely break the circuit, meaning no
lights would work -- and leading to much more
tedious time spent searching for that elusive
burnt bulb.
To replace, simply pop out the
old bulb (you may need to unhook a small plastic
latch at the base of the bulb receptacle to pop
out the bulb assembly), being careful not to
break the glass, and snap in a new bulb of the
same type. Test the strand by plugging it in.
Work your way along the strand and replace any
other burned-out bulbs.
HOME TIP: Use only light
strands rated for outdoor use on outside
lighting.
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