| today's
laugh A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a
young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart
after it had fallen off.
"You look tired, my son,"
said the cleric. "Why don’t you rest a moment,
and I’ll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young
man. "My father wouldn’t approve."
"Don’t be silly," the
minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break.
Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his
father would be upset.
Losing his patience just a little, the
clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave
driver. Tell me where I can find him and I’ll give
him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young
farmer, "you can tell him whatever you like just as
soon as I get this hay off him.
Most households need only two tools.
WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and it should,
use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn’t, use the
tape.
While vacationing on Cape Cod, my wife
and I stopped at a small way-side stand and bought some
tomatoes. When I commented how small they were, the
proprietor’s reply was "Ay-up."
Returning a day or two later, my wife
told the man the tomatoes he had sold us were tough and
not very flavorful.
The old gentleman nodded, looked at us
a moment, then said, "Lucky they was small,
ain’t it?"
Some people have a way with words,
others not have way.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A BANKRUPTCY PROCEEDING.
Bankruptcy proceedings were commenced
yesterday against Thos. Bacon, the grocer who has just
sold out on East Third street to Chas. Rogers and Lew
Manley. St. Louis, Chicago, Kansas City and other grocery
houses are holding the bag to the amount of $2,100 or
$2,200, and the proceedings are being handled from Kansas
City. McReynolds & Halliburton are representing some
of the creditors.
Since Mr. Bacon recently sold the store
there is just now some question as to what method will be
pursued in adjusting the claims. It is thought by Mr.
McReynolds that an effort may be made to seize the stock,
though it is already in other hands. It is said that this
can be done, and if so, Messrs. Rogers and Manley may be
occasioned with some trouble. On the other hand the
proceeds of the sale may be all on which the creditors
can recover.
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Today's Feature Open Position on 911 Board.
The Board of Directors of
Jasper County Emergency Services announced
yesterday that Eastern District Director Larry
Newman resigned his position on the board at a
special board meeting, December 6, 2010.
The board will appoint a new
director that will fill the position until the
next election.
Interested Eastern District
residents wishing to fill the remainder of the
open position by appointment to the board are
encouraged to send a resume and a letter of
intent to the board by the close of business,
December 31, 2010.
Correspondence should be sent
to Jasper County Emergency Services, Attn:
Eastern District Board Appointment, PW Box 810,
13870 Dispatch Lane, Carthage, Missouri 64836.
Salem Country
Church Music Gathering.
The Salem Country Chruch at Red
OakII will again feature THE BELL RINGING LADY
(Cynthia) for their Christmas Program , Sat. Dec.
18 at 6:30 p.m.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I can remember always
seein’ a box of matches in my
grandparents bathroom. Bein’ there was a
little gas stove for knockin’ off the
chill, as a kid I just figured they were kept
there for the purpose of lightin’ it up
on a cool mornin’.
At some young age, I can
still remember the embarrassed laugh when I
mentioned the matches to my mom. She
explained that although lightin’ the
stove was a handy function of the phosphor
tipped sticks, their more typical purpose was
to eliminate the telltale evidence of a visit
to the throne.
‘Course at that time
there wasn’t a
"plug-it-in-plug-it-in" or were my
grandparents interested in a storebought air
freshener (the bottle of green fluid with a
wick pulled up). From time to time I find
myself reminded of that box of matches.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Columns
Clogged Heart
Arteries Cause Pain of Angina
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I am 56, a
woman and have angina. I don’t understand it
too well. I have never smoked, and I am not
overweight. I’d get chest pains if I hurried
to catch a bus or to get on an open elevator.
When it first started, my doctor gave me a
medicine to put under my tongue when the pain
happened. It worked well. I don’t have to
use it much anymore. Is that a good sign? Am I
destined to have a heart attack? -- J.A.
ANSWER: Angina (pronounced
ANN-juh-nuh or ann-JEYE-nuh) is squeezing chest
pain that comes on when a person is active and
leaves when that person rests. Being active can
mean walking, jogging, cleaning, doing the
washing, weeding or digging. It comes about
because one or more of the heart arteries is
plugged with plaque -- a mound of cholesterol and
fat on the inside artery wall. At rest, enough
blood makes its way to the heart. With activity,
the heart can’t get enough blood because of
the plaque. The heart makes its lack of blood
known by chest pain that also might be felt in
the neck, the jaw or the arms, or only in those
places.
Angina, one of the signs of
coronary (heart) artery disease, affects 17
million Americans. Smoking, obesity, inactivity,
high blood cholesterol, high blood pressure and a
family history are some of the major factors that
cause its development. You don’t smoke and
never did. How about your cholesterol, blood
pressure and weight? If those things need to be
addressed, they trump all other treatments.
In spite of controlling the
above factors, many still have to take medicines
-- medicines that dilate arteries or make the
heart beat slower, or ones that lower blood
pressure or cholesterol. The medicine you put
under your tongue was nitroglycerin. Long-acting
varieties of that medicine and long-acting other
artery dilators might be the reason why you
don’t need nitroglycerin as much as you did.
That is a good sign. Clogged heart arteries can
be opened with a balloon-tipped catheter or by
bypassing the clog with an artery graft. You
might not ever need such procedures.
You’re not doomed to have
a heart attack. The treatment you’re now
getting is designed to prevent one.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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