today's
laugh A man gets a ticket to the Super Bowl from his
company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium he
realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the
stadium.
About halfway through the first quarter
he notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on
the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes
his way to the empty seat.
As he sits down, he asks the gentleman
sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting
here?" The man replies "No". He again
inquires of the man next to him, "Who would have a
seat like this and not use it?"
The man replies, "Well, actually,
the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my
wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl
we haven’t been together since we got married in
1967." "Well, that’s terribly sad. But
still, couldn’t you find someone to take the seat? A
relative or close friend?" "No," the man
replied, "they’re all at the funeral."
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Boy’s Hand
Punctured.
Henry Hout, Jr., aged 14, bought a
pistol this morning and he didn’t know it was
loaded. It was, though, with a blank, and when it went
off the wadding shot through the palm of his left hand,
and into his leg. Not serious, says Dr. Wise.
Miss Barron to
Return Home.
Miss Frances Barron, who has been
visiting her cousin, Miss Blanch Griswold, in this city
for the past three months, expects to leave next
Wednesday for the east. Mr. S. B. Griswold accompanying
her as far as St. Louis. She will visit a couple of weeks
in New York City and then go on to her home in the
suburbs of Hartford, Conn. Miss Barron is a charming
young lady and will leave a host of friends and admirers
behind her in this city, where she has been exceedingly
popular among the society young folks.
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Today's Feature Y Christmas Break Camp.
Sign-up for the Fair Acres
Family YMCA’s Christmas Break Camp is
underway now at the Y located at 2600 Grand
Avenue in Carthage.
The cost to register for
Christmas Break Camp is $20/day for Y-Members and
$25 for Non-Members. Or parents may register
children for all five days at a reduced rate..
Christmas Break Camp will run
December 27-31. Parents may drop their children
off at the Y as early as 7:00 a.m. and pick them
up by 6:00 p.m.
Activities will include games,
swimming, crafts, sports, and much more. YMCA
will provide a snack and parents are asked to
make sure their child(ren) bring a sack lunch.
Also, children will need to bring a swimming suit
and towel each day.
Staff from the Y’s Summer
Day Camp and After School programs will make sure
kids are safe and have lots of fun.
For more information call the Y
at 358-1070 or stop by the Y at 2600 S. Grand in
Carthage.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By
Monte Dutton
HIGH: Jimmie Johnson won a
record fifth consecutive Sprint Cup championship,
which is even more impressive in that no one else
in the sport’s history has won more than
three.
LOW: The exhortation of NASCAR
vice president Robin Pemberton -- "Have at
it, boys" -- proved to be emblematic of the
season that followed. An on-track feud between
drivers Carl Edwards and Brad Keselowski boiled
over in both the Cup and Nationwide Series. No
one was hurt, but the crashes were scary and
obviously intentional.
HIGH: Denny Hamlin’s run
for the championship was inspirational and
heartbreaking. Hamlin persevered in spite of a
knee injury that required surgery ... while he
continued to race. He led Johnson by 33 points
with two races remaining but wound up losing the
championship by 39.
LOW: Dale Earnhardt Jr.
continued to struggle. Ninety-three races have
passed since his last victory. He will begin his
fourth season at Hendrick Motorsports with his
third crew chief, Steve Letarte. (A fourth, Brian
Whitesell, took the reins just for one race.) He
finished 21st in the standings and collected only
three top-five finishes.
HIGH: Another driver who
didn’t qualify for the Chase won the
season’s two most prestigious races. Jamie
McMurray captured both the Daytona 500 and the
Brickyard 400 at Indianapolis.
LOW: Upset at being criticized,
NASCAR officials tried to fine two drivers,
Hamlin and Ryan Newman, in secrecy. Naturally,
word leaked out, leading some to wonder what else
the ruling body was hiding.
HIGH: The season’s two
races at Talladega Superspeedway produced a total
of 175 lead changes. The individual numbers were
88 and 87, the two highest such totals in the
sport’s history.
LOW: Two of the sport’s
more dignified drivers, Jeff Gordon and Jeff
Burton, exchanged blows after Burton inexplicably
wrecked Gordon’s Chevy under a caution flag
at Texas Motor Speedway on Nov. 7. It’s
difficult to buy Burton’s explanation that
he didn’t do it on purpose.
HIGH: The Raybestos Rookie of
the Year in the Camping World Truck Series,
Austin Dillon, actually won two races.
LOW: The rookie of the year in
Cup, Kevin Conway, never finished higher than
14th and was 35th in the point standings.
HIGH: The most improved
performance came from Kevin Harvick, who bettered
his average finish from 19.9 in 2009 to 8.7 in
2010. Under the point system in place prior to
2004, Harvick would have finished the season with
295 points more than any other driver.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I read once that rabbits
always return to their trail to confuse
anything tryin’ to follow ‘em. They
will run in a circle and come back to close
to where they were jumped up.
The article I was
readin’ made rabbit huntin’ appear
to be a pretty simple task. Take your dog
along to chase the rabbit and just wait until
the critter makes the full circle.Now
I’m not sure the short legged dog I grew
up with was a decent rabbit chaser. We did
manage to scare up a rabbit or two, but I
never saw ‘em again. After a bit, the
dog would come sniffin’ tryin’ to
pick up the trail. I’m guessin’ the
dog is a critical factor in the art of rabbit
huntin’ as described in the article.
Bein’ smarter than the rabbit
doesn’t make much difference if ya
don’t have a dog that will hunt.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Columns
CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
Dear Tom and Ray:
We recently bought a 2005 VW
Beetle and love it. Our one concern is its
tendency to hydroplane in the rain. Is there any
way to install an aftermarket stability control?
In 2005, the electronic stability control was not
a feature on the Beetle. If not, what can we do
to help reduce the tendency to hydroplane, in
addition to slowing down. Thanks, guys. - Ted
Ray: Slow down some more.
Tom: There’s no way to
install an aftermarket stability control system,
that we know of. Nor would it prevent
hydroplaning. But there are several things you
can try, Ted.
Ray: Hydroplaning occurs when
so much water collects in front of your tires
that it creates a wedge of water, and your tires
ride up on the wedge of water and temporarily
leave the road.
Tom: It’s most likely to
happen when you drive into a large puddle at a
fairly high speed. And, as I’m sure you can
attest, Ted, it causes a loss of control. Not
only of the car, but sometimes of your bodily
functions. It’s scary!
Ray: Normally, hydroplaning is
prevented by the tread design of your tires. The
tread contains grooves that channel the water
through the tire, leaving the surface of the
tread firmly on the road.
Tom: Hydroplaning also can be
caused by worn-our shocks that aren’t doing
their job of keeping the tires pressed down
against the roadway. That makes it easier for
water to push the tires off the road surface.
Ray: Have your mechanic take a
look and give you his opinion on both your shocks
and your tires.
Tom: And, like we said, slowing
down helps, especially when it rains.
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