| today's
laugh The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of
city women, met and decided that this month’s outing
was to be at a dairy farm. Most of them had lived in the
city all their lives, and had never seen such a place.
The day came for the trip, and the
ladies filed into the rented bus which whisked them off
to their destination. On the way, they watched out the
windows as the city squalor turned into lovely,
unpolluted countryside.
After they arrived, they were greeted
by the farmer who invited them to look him up should they
have any questions. Myrtle, after looking about, and
being amazed by what she saw, stepped into a building and
viewed something she thought was quite remarkable.
She saw the farmer walk by and hailed
him -- he sauntered in.
"Sir," she inquired,
"Why doesn’t this cow have any horns?"
The farmer cocked his head for a
moment, then began in a patient tone: "Well,
ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with
horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a
hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young’uns by
puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns
would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there
are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the
reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is
‘cause it’s a horse."
When you sneeze, all bodily functions
stop, even your heart!
Only 7 per cent of the population are
lefties.
The average person over fifty will have
spent 5 years waiting in lines.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
GOOD
BUSINESS AT THE FOUNDRY.
New Contracts Being
Booked and Force of Employees Increased.
The Carthage foundry has just received
an order for 200 car wheels from the Weeks Hardware
company of Carterville, and has just turned out a new set
of crusher rolls for the Pleasant Valley mines. The Big
Kate mill machinery, at Neck City, is being turned out by
the foundry and is now nearly all delivered. Several
other big contracts are practically assured, and things
are decidedly on the boom.
Some new machinery is just being
installed, and the force of employees has been increased
by five within the last two weeks. The new men are: C. D.
Nargan, C. C. Yancey, Clyde Banks, Isaac Turner and J.
Carlin.
Howenstein & Calhoon have rented
the east room of the Cassaday building and are using it
temporarily as a storage room.
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Today's Feature Missouri Loses House Seat.
The loss of a Missouri U.S.
Representative in Congress and new Congressional
District lines are some of the results of data
released from the 23rd Decennial Census. In a
news conference yesterday, the U.S. Census Bureau
concluded that the outcome of the 2010 Census
resulted in Missouri’s population growing 7
percent to 5,988,927 persons. Despite this
growth, Missouri will lose a Congressional seat
in the U.S. House of Representatives, resulting
in a drop from nine to eight Missouri
Congressional seats.
Sen. Scott T. Rupp, will
continue as chairman of the Senate Committee on
Redistricting for the 2011 legislative session.
The committee is responsible for performing all
duties necessary for the General Assembly to
prepare for its role in the 2010 Decennial
Census, including determining Congressional
redistricting to reflect the recently announced
changes in shifting populations in Missouri.
According to a Boston Globe
article, Missouri was one of eight states
projected to lose a seat as a result of a
shifting population base throughout the country.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I’m already
figurin’ on the variety of fixin’s
that will be on my plate for Christmas
Dinner.
Over the years the choices
have changed some as the younger relatives
took over the chores of preparin’ their
various dishes. No one makes the potato bread
my grandmother used ta always prepare.
Although it’s somewhat of a family
secret, there have been a Christmas or two
without a turkey. Various rice casseroles
have moved in on occasion and even cheese dip
from time to time. ‘Course ever now and
then there will be a traditional Christmas
dinner with all the trimmin’s. It’s
still hard ta beat turkey and dressing,
gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, homemade
rolls and a big piece a pumpkin’ pie.
Hold the whipped cream, I’m stuffed.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
(burp)
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Weekly
Columns
HERE’S A
TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• To get a smooth glide
out of your iron, try running it over a used
fabric-softener sheet.
• "The playground at
my daughter’s school is sand, and we were
there on a weekend after a light rain. The sand
was dry, but all the slides were wet, and she
showed me a great trick she learned from her PE
teacher: Dump mounds of sand on all the wet
areas, then just swish off. Your hands stay dry
and the water just disappears with the sand. I
was amazed!" -- A.A. in Florida
• For a baby who is
suffering from sore gums, try popping a few cubes
of ice into a baby sock, tying it closed and
letting the baby gnaw on it for a bit. The frozen
ice helps with the pain, the sock protects the
gums and it even catches most of its own drips.
Make sure baby is supervised by an adult.
• When applying paste
adhesive -- when wallpapering, for instance --
add a drop or two of food coloring to the
adhesive. This way, you will know that it is
applied to the entire surface, and it dries to
clear. I guess you might not want to do this if
you were putting up lily-white paper, but it
works fine for most kinds.
• "Three uses for a
hair dryer (besides drying your hair): 1. Defrost
frozen sections of pipe. 2. Thaw ice on a window.
3. Dry the inside of your rubber dish
gloves." -- V.S. in Kansas
• Spray recipe cards with
a shot of aerosol hair spray to keep them clean.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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