| today's
laugh A recent
college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city
and began commuting each day to work through a tiring
array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. He invited
several of his co-workers to share the ride. He soon
found, however, that the commute continued to get more
stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He
consulted the company doctor.
"Doc," the frustrated
commuter complained, "I’m fine on the bridges,
in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when
Joe forgets to bathe all week long. But when I get in the
tunnels and I’ve got those four other guys crowded
around me in the car, I get anxious and dizzy and feel
like I’m going to explode."
Without further analysis, the doctor
announced he had identified the ailment.
"What is it, Doc? Am I going
insane?"
"No, no, no, my boy. You have
something very common in these parts."
"Tell me! What is it?"
"You have what is known as Carpool
Tunnel Syndrome."
1909
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
BACK FROM BOONVILLE.
Judges M.C. Terry and J.M. Hickman, of
the county court, returned this morning from Boonville,
where they spent the day yesterday visiting the state
reform school for boys.
In regard to the boys from this county
who were irregularly committed to the school, the court
recommended that ten of them be returned home the first
of the month. Others will come later.
Judge Hickman says that the reform
school seems to be exceedingly well conducted and
excellent discipline prevails. The boys are all taught
good trades and are sent away well prepared to support
themselves in life.
The ten boys which are to be returned
to Jasper county first will be selected by the
superintendent of the school from among the most truly
boys and best workmen in the Jasper County section.
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Today's Feature Mayor’s
Proclamation.
.Mayor Jim Woestman has signed a
proclamation designating February 11, 2010 as
Carthage R-9 School Foundation Day.
Foundation Director Vicki Cash
said, "We appreciate Mayor Woestman issuing
this proclamation and helping to create awareness
of Carthage R-9 School Foundation and the
services we provide. As we celebrate our 15th
Anniversary year, we invite everyone in the
community to celebrate with us and show their
support by making a donation of $15 or
more."
"In celebrating this
milestone, we realize the longevity and success
of the Carthage R-9 School Foundation can be
attributed to many factors," said Cash.
"We are grateful for our current Board of
Directors who volunteer their time and service,
and all who have served on our Board in the past;
the efforts of Mrs. Jan Crandall, who was a
founding member and also served as Foundation
Director for eight years; our great relationships
with Carthage R-9 District Administration, Board
of Education, faculty and staff, and students;
and the wonderful support of the community."
For more information about the
Foundation, call 417.359.7047.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
It was bad enough when ya
saw those disclaimers printed in magazines
for prescription medication. Now I’m
seein’ thirty second commercials on tv
that are mainly sayin’ who
shouldn’t use this new wonder drug.
I’ve gotta figure it’s some sort of
legal thing.
I have to admit I have read
through a good portion of those two page,
fine print advertisements, just ta see what
they’re afraid of. At least the printed
ads usually said what the stuff was supposed
ta cure. These tv ads just tell ya ta
"ask your doctor about...."
I suppose these things are
on a "need ta know" basis. Myself,
I’m just hopin’ I don’t ever
get that curious.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.’
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Carthage Printing |
Weekly Columns HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• If you have hazy mirrors
from hairspray use, clean them with rubbing
alcohol.
• "Clothespins can be
used for many things. I have glued magnets to
several and use them to clip together coupons and
for holding mail that is addressed and needs to
go to the mailbox. I can then use the magnet on
the refrigerator or my steel front door." --
R.R. in Ohio
• "If you have a
small family, it can be hard to take advantage of
the greatest deals: buying in bulk. You
aren’t saving money if you pay for things
that go to waste. Why not see if there are any
seniors or singles in your area who would want to
join together? My daughter and a few of her
college friends were able to add variety and
stretch their food budget by banding together on
produce." -- C.L. in Oregon
• "I have a small
sponge at the bottom of my umbrella stand to
collect the water that drips off of umbrellas.
When the day clears up, I take it out to dry. I
try to remember to wash it periodically in the
clothes washer to keep mildew from forming. It
has worked for me for many years." -- C.L.
in Tennessee
• Make your own whipped
cream by whipping evaporated skim milk. For more
volume, put the milk and the bowl in the freezer
for a few minutes before whipping.
• "I started keeping
a container of baby wipes in the kitchen when my
little one was learning to self-feed. What a
mess. I have kept them there because they are so
convenient for small spills. I use the pop-up
variety to wipe my hands or to quick-clean. There
are millions of uses for these small, damp
towels." -- F.D. in Kansas
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