| today's
laugh I met a man who had been married for 66 years.
"Amazing. 66 years!" I said.
"What’s the secret to such a long, happy
marriage?"
"Well," he replied,
"It’s like this. The man makes all the big
decisions and the woman just makes the little
decisions."
"Really?" I responded.
"Does that really work?"
"Oh, yes," he said proudly.
"66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"
At his 103rd birthday party, my
grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his
104th.
"I certainly do," he replied.
"Statistics show that very few people die between
the ages of 103 and 104."
An old farmer won ten million in the
Lottery. He was asked what he was going do with all that
money.
He scratched his head and said,
"Guess I’ll keep farmin’ till it’s
all gone."
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Many Secret Societies
Have Their New Officers on Duty.
The ladies of Eminence Chapter O. E. S.
were in deep trouble yesterday. They were expecting Grand
Worthy Matron, Mrs. Harris, and Mrs. J. M. Stevenson, of
Neosho, on the 12 o’clock and there was a committee
to meet them but they came not. The ladies waited around
in various stores for a couple of hours and then went
home, thinking the ladies were not coming. The facts were
that Mrs. Stevenson could not come and Mrs. Harris had
arrived on the 11:30 car and on finding no one to meet
her had gone to the Harrington, where she remained until
late in the evening. The ladies of the local chapter were
in blissful ignorance of Mrs. Harris’ presence until
about 8:30 p.m. when she sent a message to the hall where
the installation was to be held. A committee was at once
dispatched to escort her to the hall and explain the
misunderstanding, which was done and all enjoyed a hearty
laugh over the joke.
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Today's Feature Bicyclist Victim of
Hit and Run.
Crime Stoppers is requesting
assistance in identifying a suspect involved in
an incident that occurred the morning of
Saturday, July 24, 2010, when a bicyclist was hit
by a truck on Hwy. 43, 2 miles south of Joplin.
Missouri State Highway Patrol
Troop "D" believes the suspect’s
vehicle to be an older 80’s model red Ford
pickup truck with a visor over the window and
missing its passenger side mirror. The truck also
had a yellow octagon shaped watering tank in its
bed..
Anyone having information about
this incident, is encouraged to call Missouri
State Highway Patrol Trooper Carnagey at
417-895-6868 or if one prefers to remain
anonymous and possibly be eligible for a reward,
they can contact Crime Stoppers.
Anyone with information about
this suspect, or any other felony crime, is urged
to call Crime Stoppers at (417) 782-TIPZ (8479).
Information can be submitted securely on-line at
www.heartlandtipz.com.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I don’t know much
about this Joe the Plumber guy ‘cept he
raised a ruckus durin’ the Presidential
campaign. Seems he’s become somewhat of
a celebrity.
I see that some State
candidates are usin’ Joe as an
endorsement. He must have more influence than
I figured.
I suppose all endorsements
carry some hazards. I’m guessin’
ever’one has a few who disagree with the
particular endorsee.
Now I’ve got
nothin’ against this Joe guy, don’t
know him at all. ‘Course I don’t
know most of the folks that do
endorsin’, just that they’re
willin’ to put their name behind a
candidate.
We don’t endorse
candidates at the Mornin’ Mail.
Wouldn’t want any candidate tryin’
to live that down.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Columns
HERE’S A
TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• Weatherproofing in the
winter makes good sense -- nobody likes the feel
of a chilly draft. But weatherproofing is just as
important during the summer if you use air
conditioning. You might not feel that cold air
leaking outside, but your power bill sure does.
• Whip your butter to
stretch it out. Soften sticks to room temperature
and whip it to twice its volume using an electric
mixer. Store in a large, sealable plastic
container.
• "The secret to
extra-light pancakes and waffle batter is
carbonated water. Use club soda in place of
regular water and you’ll see a big
difference." -- M.F. in Tennessee
• "To use the last
bits of shampoo and conditioner in my bottles, I
add a little water and shake them. I also cut
open the bottle of lotion when it has a pump top.
There’s always so much left when the bottle
won’t pump any more out." -- A.R. in
Oregon
• "If you have
paintbrushes that have hard paint on them, try
soaking them in full-strength vinegar. Check to
see if paint has softened, and comb out with a
wire brush." -- C.F. in New York
• Mix liquid dish
detergent (or cheap shampoo) with baking soda and
a bit of water to thin it out. Use this mixture
to scrub the walls in your bathtub or shower..
• Mix liquid dish
detergent (or cheap shampoo) with baking soda and
a bit of water to thin it out. Use this mixture
to scrub the walls in your bathtub or shower.
• When making stuffed
peppers, try placing the peppers in a muffin tin.
They are stable and stand upright with ease.
Simply place each pepper in a well and bake.
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