today's
laugh One day a
convenience store worker was sitting not doing much. At 2
oclock the doors swing open and a duck walks in.
"Do you have any duck food?"
the duck asks.
"No we dont got any duck
food."
"Okay, thanks anyway", says
the duck, and walks out.
The next day at 2 oclock the
doors swing open again, and the same duck walks in.
"Got any duck food?" he asks.
The clerk is a little annoyed,
"No! We dont have any duck food!"
"Fine." the duck says and
walks out.
The third day at 2 oclock the
doors swing open and the duck walks in and asks,
"Gotany duck food?"
By now the clerk so getting very
annoyed: "No" he yells, "We dont
have any duck food! We didnt have any yesterday
wont dont have any today and we wont have any
tomorrow! And if you come in here again and ask if we
have and duck food, Ill nail your little web feet
to the floor!!!!"
All the duck does is turn and walk out
the door.
On the forth day at 2 oclock the
doors swing open and the duck walks in:
"Got any nails?" the duck
asks.
"No, we dont got
nails."
"Well then," the duck says,
"Got any duck food?"
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Pittsburg Clerks at
Lakeside
The retail grocery clerks of Pittsburg,
Kansas, had a very enjoyable picnic at Lakeside park
yesterday. The party, numbering about 300 persons in all,
came over in a special train on the Memphis to Webb City,
arriving there about 9 a.m. The electric line had cars in
waiting and conveyed them in a body to Lakeside park,
where they spent the day. At noon a big basket dinner was
spread.
During the day a great many of the
visitors took a ride to Carthage and admired the beauties
of the city. They returned to Webb City and took the
special train home about 8 o clock in the evening.
It was a nice crowd and enjoyed itself
thoroughly. Not a single accident occurred during the
day. The visitors were particularly well pleased with the
park and all expressed themselves as having a good time.
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Today's Feature 911 Board Chair
Defends Decision.
The Jasper County Emergency
Services Board met for their first regular
meeting since the firing of Director Rich Nordell
in February last Tuesday evening.
Nordell has indicated in the
last few weeks that he will ask the courts to
decide if the firing was justified.
Nordell attended the meeting as
a citizen observer and told the Mornin
Mail that his plans are to sue board members
as individuals rather that bring the organization
into the squabble. He did not attempt to direct
any comments to the board itself.
Board member Bill Rowland
questioned Board Chairman Kelly Stephens
decision not to let Nordell appeal the dismissal
to the Board. According to Stephens there is no
policy in place that would require the Board to
hear an appeal.
Rowland said he understood
that, but thought the Board should have been
given the opportunity to make the final decision,
not just the Chairman.
The Board is scheduled to meet
on March 18 to review 41 applications for the
director position, picking 5 to interview.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
Sponsored
by Curry Automotive
Joey Logano Is
Pumped
Season two could be a breakout
year for Joey Logano, who wont turn 20
until May. The 2009 Raybestos Rookie of the Year
has finished fifth and sixth in the past two
races.
Dont look now, but
Logano, a Middletown, Conn., native, is eighth in
the Sprint Cup point standings, ahead of Joe
Gibbs Racing teammates Kyle Busch (12th) and
Denny Hamlin (22nd).
"I feel more excited to
come to the race tracks, is what it comes down
to," said Logano. "Last year it was,
Oh, boy, California, we stunk there last
time. I dont know if I want to go
there. Now, you look at these places, and
youre excited to go back to the track
because you think youre going to have a
good race car.
"Im more pumped up
about coming to the race track. I think
thats the biggest deal, me knowing what I
want. Its the biggest (learning) curve
Ive ever taken."
Logano was still in grade
school when Mark Martin began telling whoever
would listen that the kid was going to be a star.
One hears such stories quite often in NASCAR, but
most fall short of such heady forecasts. Logano,
so far, has passed every test on his way to the
top.
Loganos one Sprint Cup
victory -- New Hampshire Motor Speedway in June
2009 -- was something of an anomaly, greatly
aided by a timely rain shower that cut the race
short. He wound up finishing 20th in the point
standings with the victory, three top-five
finishes and seven top 10s.
Its obvious: Logano is
starting to "get it."
"Its a gradual
deal," he said. "Its not like a
light switch. I remember last year at this point.
Kyle (Busch) and Denny (Hamlin) were telling me
something, or Zippy (crew chief Greg Zipadelli)
was telling me something, and I couldnt
make sense of it in my mind.
As I kept going with time, and
kept thinking about what they said to me when I
was on the race track. Id think about it
and then, eventually, I made sense of it."
Early results this year have
raised the bar on expectations.
"I think its
cool," said Logano. "Im excited.
Eighth in points ... and last year I would have
been happy with 20th in points at this point in
the season.
"I wish theyd start
the Chase now, but we have a long way to
go."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I remember bein in
the middle of a tv program back in the
50s and all the sudden "technical
difficulties" would be announced. For
the next ten or fifteen minutes ya sat and
watched the test pattern waitin for
programing to resume. I am reminded of this
because yesterday my internet access was shut
off for several hours. I only wish they would
have put up some type of message lettin
us know there was a problem. After
tryin several times to get through on
the telephone to the internet folks, I was
told that MCI was havin troubles and
anyone connected to them was just outa luck.
I suppose what is really
amazin is the fact that this type a
thing doesnt happen more often. It does
however, act as a reminder that the Mornin
Mail has never missed a scheduled
publishin day of hittin the
street since we started back in 92.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Metcalf Auto Parts |
Weekly Columns CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
Dear Tom and Ray:
Everyone knows it is illegal to
change an odometer reading, and I wouldnt
do it even if I knew how. My 1999 Chevy Malibu
(the best car Ive ever owned) has an
electronic display. I am curious as to why the
odometer data is not lost when the car battery is
removed. On the electronic clocks I have, if the
power is disconnected, you have to reset the
clock when power is restored. Im sure many
of your readers are wondering about this also. An
"expert" told me there is a small
battery backup in the circuit. But what if the
car were put in storage for months and this
battery eventually failed? John
Tom: Great question, John.
Electronic odometers are not the same as
electronic clocks. If they were, every used car
you ever bought would have an odometer flashing
12:00!
Ray. They actually work like
computer drives, which store data magnetically.
If you turn off your computer and put it in you
basement for years, when you start it up again,
all of the stuff on your hard drive will still be
there.
Tom: So guys, remember that!
Anything you dont want discovered after
youre dead, be sure to delete before
shutting down your old computer.
Ray: Yeah. It took my brother a
day and a half just to delete all of his
"GMCs Gone Wild" videos.
Tom: The advantage of magnetic
media is that they store data without power. The
data are "imprinted" on the drive as a
series of magnetic flux patterns.
Ray: And as long as you
dont park next to Bernies Dry
Cleaning and Industrial De-Magnetizing Emporium,
that data will remain there indefinitely.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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