| today's
laugh Personal Ads
from Seniors
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious
blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5’4" (used
to be 5’6"), searching for sharp-looking,
sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a
plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who
has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for
someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness,
fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with
original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare
steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday
through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday
and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high
mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts
including hip, knee, valves. Isn’t in running
condition, but walks well.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Mean Trick.
Just at present S.W. Hanford thinks the
person who will milk another man’s cow is about the
meanest person on the pike. Last night his cow was a
little late in getting home from Kellogg’s pasture,
and when she finally arrived, had not a drop of milk for
her young calf. The cow is supposed to have been held up
and milked on the way home.
Is Bill
Married?
Wonder reigned supreme yesterday up
town when "Bill" Blair paraded the square with
a dasky damsel on his arm. The damsel tittered and
giggled, and in response to looks of surprise from
bystanders, she replied in coquettish accents
"We’re married." Bill was certainly as
bashful as any bridegroom.
T.J. Stemmons & Son today shipped
by express a fine Poland china pig to J.J. Maxey of
Joplin.
| |
Today's Feature "Cramming"
Complaints Rank High.
Attorney General Chris Koster
says that a scam called "cramming"
ranks near the top of complaints his office
receives each year.
Koster said telephone companies
contract to provide billing and collection
services for third-party companies. Cramming
happens when a third-party company adds a charge
to your phone bill for a service you didn’t
order, such as voicemail, Internet service, or
calling cards. He said these charges are
sometimes hidden on the phone bill under such
titles as "enhanced services,"
"activation," or "web
hosting."
"Unethical companies are
betting that consumers won’t read their
phone bills," Koster said.
"Always read the small
print, and if a form or a caller asks for your
phone number, ask questions and find out why they
need the number," Koster said. "If you
do get crammed, call your local phone company
immediately and ask that the charges be removed,
and call the company named on the bill ask that
they be removed. Then call the Attorney
General’s Consumer Hotline at 1-800-392-8222
and file a complaint."
|
 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
There is prob’ly not a
more accurate classic quotation that the one
from "Cool Hand Luke." Most will
know what it is without bein’ told, but
for those youngsters that happen ta be
readin’ it is "What we have here is
a failure to communicate."
Nothin’ causes more
problems, litigation, divorces, and just down
right cantankerous attitudes than a failure
to understand what’s really goin’
on.
Now the character in the
movie didn’t mean that ever’one was
gonna sit down and discuss what was
botherin’ ‘em of course. What he
was sayin’ was folks just weren’t
payin’ attention to what he was
sayin’. I’ve heard its always a
good idea ta have the person you’re
talkin’ to repeat what you’ve said
just ta make sure they understand.
‘Course, there’s always time ta fix
what there wasn’t time ta do right the
first time.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
|
| Sponsored by
Carthage Printing |
Weekly Columns THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Exhaust-Fan
Cleaning
Q: How do I clean a kitchen
exhaust fan -- the one above the stove? Mine
looks really gunky. -- Claire J., Wheeling, W.Va.
A: The filter screen protects
the exhaust fan and its motor from debris, dust
or gunk getting in and impeding their operation.
If the fan blades are dirty,
you can clean them in place or pull the fan/motor
assembly down from the casing to clean the entire
assembly. Some important caveats before starting:
First, TURN OFF the power to the fan at the
circuit panel -- make sure it cannot be switched
on. Second, don’t immerse the assembly in
water or get too wet -- clean with a damp cloth
or sponge, but don’t soak it.
To remove the assembly --
again, turn off the power first -- look for the
mounting bracket located just inside or just
under the fan casing. Unscrew the bracket and
carefully slide the assembly from the casing. Do
not disconnect any wires. You’ll want to
hold the assembly in place (or have a helper hold
it) while you carefully wipe down the exterior
surfaces -- the fan blades and the motor housing
-- with a soft cloth dampened in a mild
soap-and-water solution. Once the gunk is cleaned
off, wipe the surfaces with a cloth dipped in
clean water (so soap residue doesn’t attract
more sticky particles) and dry completely. Once
dry, slide the assembly back into the casing and
reattach the mounting bracket. Slide the clean
and dry filter back into place, and you’re
done.
|
Copyright 1997-2009 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
|