| today's
laugh Two guys are
out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see
that?"
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew
overhead," the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first
guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy
asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big,
black bear walking on that hill, over
there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later the first guy says:
"Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting
aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"
And the first guy says: "Then why
did you step in it?"
I have never been jealous. Not even
when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.-
Jeff Foxworthy
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Charles Weston, of Barton county, who
was here with his team and wagon yesterday, had one of
his horses attached by W. H. Hatch on a judgement for $10
which he had repeatedly refused to pay. His mother came
to his rescue with a secure note.
Annie King, who was tried and convicted
of petit larceny before Justice Craycroft at Joplin in
1892 and made her escape from the county jail after two
days imprisonment, was arrested in Joplin yesterday and
is now going to serve out the balance of her 40 day
sentence.
While Isaiah Eiting and family were in
from their country home Sunday attending memorial
services, their team, which was hitched in Porter’s
yard, broke loose and started for home at a 2:40 gait.
They were caught by some boys before any damage was done,
except a broken pole of the spring wagon.
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Today's Feature Free Income Tax
Assistance.
The Volunteer Income Tax
Assistance (VITA ) tax site at the Family
Literacy Center at 706 Orchard in Carthage will
be closed Good Friday, April 2 and Saturday,
April 3.
The site will be open this
Friday, March 19 and next Friday, March 26 4:00
to 7:00 p.m and Saturdays, March 20 and March 27
10:00 am to 12:00 noon. No appointment is
necessary.
The site will be open Saturday,
April 10 for all those procrastinators who wait
until the last minute to file. Taxpayers are
reminded that even though they file early and
owe, the payment is not due until April 15, so
early filing is encouraged.
Taxpayers who earned less than
$49,000 in 2009 may visit a VITA site for free
federal income tax return preparation and
electronic filing. With e-file, taxpayers may be
able to get their refund in as little as 10 days.
Many of these taxpayers qualify
for the Earned Income Tax Credit. In some cases,
that credit may be nearly $5,700 for eligible
taxpayers.
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 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
There is one thing that
most folks have in common, the dislike of
standin’ in lines. They will stand
around the coffee pot, stand on a bus, stand
in front of windows in the mall, but
waitin’ in line isn’t to be stood
for.
‘Course since
standin’ in line is such a nuisance, the
one thing that might top the aggravation is
havin’ someone cut in front of you while
your waitin’. I witnessed a real sneaky
attempt at line cuttin’ over the weekend
while waitin’ for a table at a
restaurant.
A mom and her kid come in,
the kid heads for the restroom, the mom waits
in line. After a while I look up and the kid
is standin’ next to a table bein’
cleared, wavin’ to his mom. She makes a
move but is cut off by a savvy line stander.
"Oh did you want that table?" she
asked innocently.And they ask where kids get
the ideas. I thanked this one for savin’
our table for us.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly Columns To Your Good Health
By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.
Spinal Stenosis a
Major Cause of Back Pain
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Sixty-two
must be the age when everything falls apart.
I’m there. My latest body part to give way
is my back. I have back pain a considerable
amount of the time. It finally brought me to a
doctor, who tells me I have spinal stenosis. I
have been told to take Aleve for my pain, and
I’m scheduled for physical therapy. I
don’t have great hopes of a cure. What
exactly is this? What else can be done for it? --
T.R.
ANSWER: Spinal stenosis
accounts for about one-third of all cases of
low-back pain. It’s an elusive concept that
calls for an anatomy lesson. The backbones
(vertebrae, spinal column) have a tunnel running
through them -- the spinal canal. In that canal
or tunnel is the spinal cord and spinal nerves.
Spinal stenosis signifies that the spinal canal
has narrowed and is pressing on the spinal cord
or spinal nerves. That, in turn, produces back
pain that can spread to the buttocks, the back of
the thighs or the lower leg. The pain worsens on
standing or waking, and goes away when the person
sits.
Aging is the most important
factor in developing spinal stenosis. Back
ligaments, which hold the backbones in place,
thicken and calcify. Arthritic changes in the
backbones sprout bone spurs that impinge on the
canal. Back discs -- the spongy shock absorbers
between adjacent backbones -- degenerate and
crumble, and that narrows the canal and exerts
pressure on the spine and spinal nerves.
Nonsurgical treatment employs
physical therapy to strengthen and stretch back
muscles in an attempt to relieve pressure on the
spine and its nerves. Anti-inflammatory medicines
like your Aleve control pain. You might need
stronger pain medicines. Epidural injections of
cortisone ease inflammation and give the spinal
canal and spinal nerves more room.
"Epidural" means the injection is made
into a space in the spinal canal above its
covering membrane. Surgery is a solution when
these measures fail.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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