The Mornin' Mail is
published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, November 10, 2010 Volume XIX, Number 101
did ya
know?.
Did Ya Know?.. . There will be a
Singles Reaching Out West Thanksgiving party Fri. Nov 12
at 6:30 p.m. in the Ulmer’s Community room, 1208 S
Garrison. Pot luck with turkey to be provided. $3
-358-1156
Did Ya Know?.. . There will be a
FREE Veterans Pancake Feed at the VFW post Sun. Nov 14
from 10 a.m. to noon. All vets free, non-military $5.
Junction of 171 and Oak St. Everyone Welcome.
Did Ya Know?.. . St. Anm’s
will hold their Chili Dinner Thur. Nov. 11 from 11:30
a.m.-1:30 p.m. and from 5 p.m. -7 p.m. Take out
available. 358-4902.
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| today's
laugh "What am I supposed to do with this?"
grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a
speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said,
"when you collect four of them you get a
bicycle."
We used to play spin the bottle when I
was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed
to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or
give you a dime.
By the time I was 14, I owned my own
home.
A waiter brings a customer the steak he
ordered. The waiter has his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the
customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What..." answers the waiter,
"You want it to fall on the floor again?"
Department of Redundancy Department
As I said before, I never repeat
myself.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Mama on Skates.
The Webb City Sentinel tells the
following on one of that town’s leaders in society:
"One of the young men from this city who goes to the
Carthage rink every once in awhile and was there last
night, hung pretty close to a certain young lady, he
thought, and was just in the act of asking for her
company home, when up stepped a little girl and said
‘Mama, lets go home.’ The young man has not
been seen today. He may be on the White Swan laundry
wagon."
Whist Clubs Meet.
Mr. and Mrs. W. P. Fulkerson were made
members of the Pastime whist club last night at the home
of Capt. Spence. Miss Ruth Stebbins was a guest and Mr.
and Mrs. Geo. Webster carried off the ribbons. Mr. and
Mrs. John H. Magee entertained the American whist club
last night. The guests were Messrs. and Mesdames Robert
Ornduff, W. J. Sewall, Misses Flora Lister and Eva Hill.
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Today's Feature "Miracle on 34th Street".
Stone’s Throw Dinner
Theatre will present its upcoming performance of
"Miracle on 34th Street", a play from
the novel by Valentine Davis. Adapted by Patricia
Di Benedetto Snyder, Will Severin and John Vreeke
and originally produced by the New York State
Theatre Institute. Directed by Betty Bell and
Betsy Fleischaker, this comedy has a cast of over
30 people and is produced in cooperation with
Samuel French Publishing Company.
Kris Kringle is the
personification of good will and holiday spirit.
As Macy’s holiday Santa, he enchants
children and shoppers so completely that he is
deemed dangerous by fellow employees and shoppers
who question his competency and plot to ruin him.
A small girl’s belief in Santa and the magic
of the holiday is at stake in a climactic
courtroom decision. This show for the entire
family is a Christmas classic. It was originally
produced by the New York State Theatre Institute.
Performances will be held at
Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre, 796 South
Stone Lane, Carthage, MO on December 2-5, and
December 9-12, 2010.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Seems like the older I get,
the less I know. At least I think I know
less.
I’d give anything to
be half as smart as I thought I was when I
was twenty. What I’m afraid of is that
I’m only ‘bout half as smart as I
think I am now.
Prob’ly the worst
thing about gettin’ some a that mature
experience under your belt is ya start
realizing just how much ya really don’t
know about a lotta things.
So ta my way a
thinkin’, the more ya know the dumber ya
feel.
‘Course you can always
go outa your way ta find onea those smart
twenty-something’s that know it all.
Usually after a while ya start ta feel a
little better just knowin’ that in
another ten or fifteen years, they won’t
be as smart you think they are now.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Columns
HERE’S A
TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• The next time you order
extra pickles or condiments with your take-out
order, save and wash the small containers with
lids that they come in. They are fantastic for
keeping all sorts of things: extra buttons in a
sewing box; spices; different size pins, nails or
office supplies; even craft supplies.
• Keep a can or shaker of
baking soda next to the stove. Small grease
spatters can be covered in a jiffy if they are
too close to a heat source. And it will help them
to wipe up cleanly later.
• "Get a professional
look when recaulking a sink by running over the
bead of caulk with the back of a soapy teaspoon.
It will smooth the caulk and give it a uniform
appearance." -- I.O. in West Virginia
• If you suspect you have
a slow leak from your toilet tank, put a few
drops of food coloring into the large tank. If
the flapper is not closing all the way, in a
short time the dye will have made its way to the
toilet bowl. If it does, you know that you need
to replace the ball and flapper.
• "To avoid a
dirty-smelling hamper, place a single sheet of
fabric softener in the bottom of your laundry
closet or in the hamper itself." -- S.W. in
Oregon
• "For
troublesome-to-open jars of pickles, jam, etc.,
use a pair of standard dishwashing gloves. They
provide a sturdy grip, especially if your hands
are the least bit damp." -- D.L. in Indiana
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