today's
laugh My husband Davids colleague at a
package-processing center was trapped in a small rest
room by a faulty lock.
When he was finally discovered, David
and another worker were able to open the door with some
difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked
the door open while a maintenance worker was called.
A bit later, David noticed the door was
closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from
inside called, "Get me out!"
"Dont worry," David
replied, "maintenance should be sending
somebody."
"They did," said the voice.
The man looked a little worried when
the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so
the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether
anything was troubling him.
"Well, to tell the truth, Doc,
yes," answered the patient.
"You see, I seem to be getting
forgetful. No, its actually worse than that.
Im never sure I can remember where I put the car,
or where Im going, or what it is Im going to
do once I get there -- if I get there. I really need your
help. What can I do?"
The doctor mused for a moment, then
answered, "Pay me in advance."
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
THOS. BACON MAKES A
STATEMENT.
Thomas Bacon stated today that the
claims of St. Louis, Chicago and Kansas City parties
against him made a total of under $500. He says that even
if the sale should be annulled by bankruptcy, proceedings
his total liabilities, including those incurred by
refunding the purchase money paid him when the sale was
made, would be only about $1,800. This estimate is made
by allowing for the fact that one small local claim would
not be presented and he feels certain that he can keep it
from being filed.
Under these circumstances, he is
certain that, even if the sale to Rogers & Manley
were annulled, that the stock would pay out quite 100
cents on the dollar.
The bankruptcy proceedings are in
progress, however, and Mr. Bacon is summoned to be
present at a hearing of his case. It is hoped that the
sale will not be interfered with.
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Today's Feature Sunday Liquor On
Tap.
The City Council is scheduled
to vote on an ordinance that would expand hours
that liquor could be sold tomorrow evening during
its regular meeting in City Hall at 7:30 p.m. The
ordinance would allow Sunday sales beginning at 9
a.m. rather than the current City restriction of
1 p.m.
During last weeks meeting
it was unclear how the Council would vote, but
City Attorney Nathan Dally gave his written
opinion that concluded with the following:
"City Regulation: In 1974,
when the pre 1994 law applied, Crackemeck Country
Club, Inc v. City of Independence 522 S.W. 2d 50,
the court stated that the State Licensee was
allowed to sell liquor by the drink at retail on
Sunday between 1:00 p.m. and midnight at
restaurant bars. (the 1 :00 p.m. time was the pre
1994 time that time in 9:00 a.m.) The court
further stated that where a city ordinance that
prohibited liquor by the drink sales on Sunday
was invalid in that it imposed new and different
standards than the statue. Conclusion: Where the
statute provides for the hours that business may
make sales, then any city ordinance that imposes
new and different standards than the statute is
invalid. Since the State statute actually
provides that the restaurant bar may serve
Intoxicating Liquor between 9:00 a.m. and
midnight any restriction on that would be a
different standard.
PACKAGED LIQUOR:
MoRevStat 311.293 governs the
Sunday sale ofpackaged liquor.
Licenses issued by the State
and ifa license is issued by the Local Government
pursuant to 311.293 gives the business the
"privilege ofselling intoxicating liquor in
the original package at retail between the hours
of9:00 a.m. and midnight on Sundays."
City Regulation:
I was unable to locate any
cases specific to this statute relating to local
regulation of packaged liquor sales on Sunday.
However, when looking at the Crackerneck case
discussed above I believe the comparisons are
very similar. Ifthe State actually provides for
the hours that a business may sale intoxicating
alcohol any regulation to the contrary by the
city would be invalid.
Conclusion: Where the statute
provides for the hours that business may make
sales, then any city ordinance that imposes new
and different standards than the statute is
invalid. Since the State statute actually
provides that the package liquor may be sold
between 9:00 a.m. and midnight any restriction on
that would be a different standard.
This is a legal opinion between
the City and their attorney and is not
discoverable under Missouri Sunshine Law."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I got whacked pretty good
with a baseball bat when I was a kid. Some
probly figured as much. My older
brother did the deed and I have become
convinced over the years that it wasnt
intentional. The thought of that incident
probly sends chills down his back but I
really dont remember it much. Im
guessin I had a pretty good goose egg
on my noggin for a while.
I can remember hearin
old timers talkin bout their
amazement of livin as long as they did.
Im gettin a better idea of what
they were talkin about as I look back
at the times when I came close to major
injury from time to time. With the
passin years, I have been able tell mom
about most of em. There are still a
couple Im savin till she matures
a little more.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Columns
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Cleaning Up After
Halloween Pranksters
Q: I live in a neighborhood
thats known for more tricks than treats.
What I mean is, the teenagers around here like to
egg houses on Halloween night, throw rolls of
toilet paper into the trees -- that kind of
thing. Last year I had to have my car towed to
the mechanic and the gas tank emptied because I
thought theyd put an egg into it. Anyway,
how do I clean off stains made by eggs, fruit and
other stuff the kids throw at my house? -- Herb
D., DeLand, Fla.
A: Eggs thrown against the side
of a house are pretty annoying, both when the
prank first happens and then later, cleaning them
off. The protein in the egg adheres to exterior
paint and can be difficult to clean off. So the
faster you tackle an egg stain, the better.
Heres a few tips on how
to clean up a few different prankster messes.
Egg: Rinse off the egged
area as soon as possible with cold water and wipe
with a damp cloth. If you cant get all the
egg off, apply an enzyme-containing laundry
detergent, soak for a few minutes, then rinse
with cold water.
Toilet paper: Just lift
it off of the "papered" object and
throw away. If pranksters papered a tree, use a
long stick to bring paper strands down. If the
tree is near power lines, dont use the
stick -- spray water to bring the paper down.
Silly String: This is
nontoxic and nonadherent to most surfaces. If
its dry, simply brush it off. Avoid rinsing
with water because the colored foam will streak
down the surface.
Shaving cream: Remove
from non-glass surfaces as quickly as possible.
Wipe away the foam first and then rinse with warm
water.
Mud and grass -- Rinse
away as fast as possible from your homes
siding. If a grass stain is still visible, dab
with a mixture of white vinegar and alcohol, then
rinse.
Fruit: If rinsed off
immediately, fruit acids shouldnt be a
problem, but you can clean the area with an
enzyme-containing detergent to be sure.
Ketchup or mustard:
Scrape away as much as possible without rubbing
it deeper into the siding or masonry. Scrub with
dry-cleaning solvent or an enzyme-containing
detergent, and rinse. Or, make a paste with
baking soda and water and spread over a tough
stain, let soak and rinse away.
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