| today's
laugh The fourth-grade
teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she
returned, she found the children in perfect order.
Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet.
She was shocked and stunned and said,
"I’ve never seen anything like it before. What
came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and
quiet?"
Finally, after much urging, little
Sally spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said
that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would
drop dead."
The other day I asked my wife what she
liked best about me.
"Is it my firm, trim, athletic,
body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"
She replied, "Oh, it’s your
sense of humor, dear."
Two rules for success: 1.) Don’t
tell all you know.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Plenty of Shoes at Court
House.
Deputy Sheriff George Lavery went out
from Joplin to Duenweg Monday afternoon and returned with
between $400 and $500 worth of boots and shoes, dry goods
and the like.
He took possession of the store of G.O.
Bay of Duenweg under a writ of attachment issued against
the stock in favor of the W.W. Kendall Boot and Shoe
company. The amount of the attachment was $329.05.
The stock was sold by S.D. Brewster to
Bay, and the shoe company claims that the sale was
fraudulent. The attachment was issued in consequence.
Mr. Lavery stated last night that Bay
claimed to have made the purchase in good faith and would
probably sue Brewster to recover the cash he paid for it.
There are 170 pairs of shoes stored at the court house in
Joplin.
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Today's Feature Patriot Golf
Day.
Patriot Golf Day is the
flagship fundraiser for the Folds of Honor
Foundation, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization
that provides post secondary educational
scholarships for the children and spouses of
military men and women disabled or killed while
serving our great nation. On Labor Day weekend,
golfers across the country are asked to add an
extra dollar ($1) to their greens fees to fund
Folds of Honor scholarships. The Patriot Golf Day
campaign is jointly supported by The PGA of
America and the United States Golf Association.
The inaugural Patriot Golf Day
in 2007 was started by Major Dan Rooney, Founder
of the Folds of Honor Foundation, F-16 Pilot, PGA
Professional, and USGA member. On Labor Day 2007
Rooney asked golfers to add $1 to their greens
fees. His request resulted in donations of more
than $1.1 million from more than 3,200 golf
facilities. In the last three years, golfers
nationwide have been instrumental in raising more
than $5.3 million through Patriot Golf Day
Events. The money raised in each PGA section
stays in that section to benefit the families in
that area.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I’ve always heard you
should pick your battles. Not take on just
anything that comes along ‘cause
battlin’ takes a lot of time an energy.
The problem is the fewer battles ya take on,
the fewer ya wanna pick. After a while
it’s just easier ta not pick any.
‘Course, as a friend a
mine used to like ta say, "Who gives a
rip about apathy?"
There is little doubt that
there are things worth stickin’ your
neck out for, but mostly it’s
committin’ the time and energy necessary
to get something worthwhile accomplished. The
other thing necessary is to utilize all the
tools available to complete the task. Not
goin’ at it half hearted. It’s easy
to sit around and jabber about
somethin’, ‘nother thing to
actually get off the porch and get after it.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.’
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Weekly
Columns
•
Get the extra lotion out of the bottom of a pump
bottle by setting the bottle in hot water and
pouring it into a small bowl. Dip your fingers in
and apply.
• "To get the dust
off of a bunch of silk or artificial flowers, try
placing them in a medium-size paper bag to which
you add a quarter cup of salt. Close up the bag,
then shake vigorously. The salt will attack the
dust!" -- I.K. in Montana
• Try covering windows
with thicker, denser material for curtains in the
summer. It can block the sunlight from coming in
and heating up your home. In the winter, do the
reverse and have a nice set of sheers that will
let the warming sunlight in.
• If you need only a small
piece of lemon or lime for a recipe, cut the rest
into smaller pieces and freeze. It’s a great
addition to your iced tea -- right out of the
icebox.
• "When I have
bananas that are getting too ripe, I peel them,
mash them and mix with a little lemon juice. Then
I portion them out into an ice-cube tray. When
frozen, they can be popped out into a zipper-top
bag. They are easy to use in morning smoothies.
The lemon juice helps keep them from
browning." -- E.A. in Kentucky
• "I use my clothes
washer as my mop bucket when mopping the kitchen
floor. (It’s next to the kitchen.) When
finished, the water spins out. I refill it, add
some bleach to disinfect it, and spin that out.
Done! There’s no bucket to fall over or
empty out or push around." -- W.T. in North
Carolina
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