today's
laugh A new hair salon opened up for business right
across the street from the old established hair
cutters place. They put up a big bold sign which
read:
"WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR
CUTS!"
Not to be outdone, the old Master
Barber put up his own sign:
"WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR
CUTS"
A passenger jet was suffering through a
severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced
around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a
minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh
asked, "Reverend, youre a man of God,
cant you do something about this storm?"
To which he replied, "Lady,
Im in sales, not management."
"I have to read a play by
Shakespeare."
"Which one?"
"William."
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Bad Tumble For
Two.
A couple of gentlemen leaving the
Chautauqua grounds last evening received bad tumbles from
their bicycles just north of the entrance, in going down
the steep grade. Torn clothing, bent handlebars and
sundry bruises tell the story.
Assistant
Postmaster at Home Again.
L.M. Murphy returned last night from
his weeks outing at Greenfield, Lamar and Golden
City, near which latter place he owns a fine large farm.
At Golden City he had the pleasure of hearing a speech by
the Hon. Joe Flory, next governor of Missouri, and also
Col. Jourdan, candidate for congress from the Sixth
district.
At Greenfield he attended a
"Murphy family reunion" at the Delmonico hotel,
which is kept by Mr. Murpheys brother, Uel. W.
Murphy. The guests of honor were Mr. Murphys
nephew, Clay Killingsworth and bride, who were on their
wedding trip from Colorado.
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Today's Feature Cell Numbers Going Public.
According to Rep. Ed Emery, all
cell phone numbers are being released to
telemarketing companies and you will start to
receive sales calls. These calls will count as
minutes used.
Emerys office says
"To prevent this, call the following number
from your cell phone: 888-382-1222.
It is the National DO NOT CALL
list It will only take a minute of your time..
You must call from the cell phone number you want
to have blocked. You cannot call from a different
phone number. 1. Telephone numbers placed on the
National Do Not Call Registry will remain on it
permanently due to the Do-Not-Call Improvement
Act of 2007, which became law in February 2008.
For more information, please visit The FTC news
release
http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2008/04/dncfyi.shtm .
2. Also, several messages have
been circulating that contain some factual
information and some inaccurate information. The
Do Not Call Registry has existed since June 2003
and accepts personal land line and cell phone
numbers for registration to limit calls from
telemarketers. Personal cell phone users have
always been able to add their numbers to the
National Do Not Call Registry the same
Registry consumers use to register their land
lines either online at www.donotcall.gov
or by calling toll-free 1-888-382-1222 from the
telephone number they wish to register. It is not
true that there is a deadline to register, nor is
it true that the FTC is publishing a list of cell
phone numbers.
Some wireless providers may
provide directory assistance for cell phone
users; for more information about that, you
should contact your wireless provider. You may
also wish to visit FTCs recent press
release about cell phones at:
http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2007/02/dnccellphones.shtm
."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Back ta school season
always gets me ta thinkin bout
various implements that were part of the tool
kit necessary for each particular grade.
I dont know what
grade it was that allowed pointed scissors
rather than requirin rounded ends. I
just know when they were legal, ya had ta
have a pair. Usin the rounded tipped
werent "grown up" enough.
Course ball point
pens were another object of necessity at some
level. Ya still had to have your supply of
No. 2 pencils however. They never seemed to
go away.
Some tried to use the
"erasable" ball points, but the
teach would usually frown on that big smeared
spot in the middle of the page. Its
good ta see pencils still have erasers. At
least makin a mistake ever now and then
is still part of the learnin process.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Columns
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Preventing Ticks
in Your Yard
Q: I read recently that
deer-tick populations are rising in my region,
and that many carry Lyme disease. Besides
checking myself and my family for ticks each time
we go outside, how can I prevent them from
infesting my yard? -- Harlan D., Belmont, Mass.
A: While completely preventing
deer ticks and other pests from coming into your
yard is difficult, if not impossible, you can
take some steps to discourage them and to reduce
the chance that theyll be able to jump onto
you or your pets. Here are some suggestions:
¥ Keep trees and bushes
trimmed. Cutting back branches that hang over the
lawn area and trimming back shrubs that you
frequently pass by will reduce opportunities for
ticks to travel.
¥ Mow the lawn regularly. As
with stray branches, long grass gives ticks more
hiding places and an easier way to jump onto
warm-blooded creatures (and humans) as they brush
through the grass.
¥ Mulch around shrubs, trees
and flowerbeds. A fairly wide mulch border (about
3 feet) discourages ticks from traveling.
¥ Discourage wildlife from
visiting your yard. Deer are a frequent nuisance
in many backyards, so take measures to keep them
from hanging out in yours -- whether with
fencing, trimming branches higher than deer can
reach or other methods.
¥ Use pesticides specific to
the problem. Most consider this a last resort,
especially if you have kids. But products are
available that target deer ticks. One you might
check out is Damminix Tick Tubes
(www.ticktubes.com). The tubes contain cotton
balls soaked in a mild insecticide. Placed in
areas where mice congregate, the mice take the
cotton balls to build their nest, where the
insecticide gets on their fur and kills young
ticks before they mature.
HOME TIP: Wear a hat,
long-sleeved shirt and long trousers when working
in the yard in areas known to be populated by
deer ticks, and brush off clothing well before
going indoors.
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