today's
laugh One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor
about her son, a college student. "Why, our son is
so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have
to go to the dictionary."
"Youre lucky," the
neighbor said. "Every time we get a letter from
ours, we have to go to the bank!"
A Texan was visiting a Maine farmer
("fahmah"). The Texas rancher was boasting to
his host about the size of his ranch: "I can get
into my pickup truck and drive all day and still not
reach the boundary of my ranch", he bragged.
The Mainer shook his head knowingly,
and replied, "Aayuhh, I had a truck like that
once"
Wear a watch and youll always
know what time it is. Wear two watches and youll
never be sure
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
AFTER THE GAMBLERS.
Carthage
and Carterville Sports Must Face the Court.
Prosecuting Attorney H. L. Shannon
filed information yesterday against a number of parties
at Carthage and Carterville charging them with gambling.
It is the result of evidence gathered for two or three
months past, part of the evidence being secured from
witnesses before the grand jury.
The jury did not indict any of the
parties implicated, but left Attorney Shannon to handle
the cases direct by filing information as soon as he
should complete the evidence.
There were five informations filed and
a group of several names is included in each. The charge
in each is setting up and helping to conduct a
gambling room."
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Today's Feature Seven People Die In Missouri
Traffic Crashes Over Labor Day Holiday
The Missouri State Highway
Patrol reports seven fatalities during the 2010
Labor Day holiday. Last year, there were eight
fatalities. The 2010 counting period ran from 6
p.m., Friday, September 3, through 11:59 p.m.,
Monday, September 6, 2010. During this period,
the Patrol investigated 294 traffic crashes,
which included 148 injuries and six of the
fatalities. St. Louis City Police Department
investigated one fatality. Troopers made 190
arrests for driving while intoxicated in 2010,
compared to 149 arrests last year. (Note: In
2009, troopers investigated 308 traffic crashes,
which included 130 injuries and six of the eight
fatalities.)
Of the six fatalities troopers
investigated, four occurred in Troop D,
Springfield area.
One person died in traffic
crashes on each day, Friday, Saturday, and
Sunday. Four people died in traffic crashes on
Labor Day. Most of the deceased were not wearing
their seat belt at the time of the crash.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I still remember that early
chess game with some distant relative as a
kid. We both were just learnin the
game, but this kid was bein a real jerk
about all he knew about the game. After
several games, he had probly won more
than I had, but he kept insistin his
superior knowledge of the game and the rules
was his advantage.
Durin what I recall
as our last encounter, he made a critical
move that was an obvious stupid mistake. When
I capitalized on the error, he screamed foul
and insisted that wasnt the move he had
intended, he wanted to take it back. I of
course reminded him that after he removed his
hand from the piece, the move stood. He
whined and moaned how unfair I was
bein. The rules obviously applied to me
but not to him. At that point the game was
secondary, the lesson primary.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Columns
HERES A
TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
"Use a lightly
dampened washcloth to remove pet hair from
upholstery. You can even spritz it using a spray
bottle of water to which youve added a
couple of drops of essential oil -- then it will
remove the pet hair and make it smell good, too.
Be sure you check to see if the fabric allows
contact with water." -- G.S. in Wisconsin
Use pretty photo albums
for holding recipes. The recipes will be
protected in the kitchen, and these books prop
open for viewing better than most books do.
"I store my
sleeping bags in the garage with my tent. The
tent is in a bag to keep all the pieces together,
but the sleeping bags are just rolled up and
secured. To keep them dust-free, I store them in
pillowcases, which allow the material to breathe
so it wont get musty, but it keeps them
clean and ready to use." -- C.A. in Florida
Use the plastic lids
from large coffee cans underneath bottles of
cooking oil or syrup in kitchen cabinets. This
way, anything that drips down the side goes on
the lid, not on the cabinet.
Too much soap in the
washer? Sprinkle suds with salt to disperse, and
then rewash.
If you live in an area
where it is humid and your outdoor light bulbs
are susceptible to rusting, give the bulb threads
a light coat of petroleum jelly before screwing
the bulb in. It will keep the metal from rusting
and will make it easier to remove the bulb when
the time comes to change it.
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