today's
laugh The stockbrokers
secretary answered his phone one morning. "Im
sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradfords on
another line."
"This is Mr. Ingrams
office," the caller said. "Wed like to
know if hes bullish or bearish right now."
"Hes talking to his
wife," the secretary replied. "Right now
Id say hes sheepish."
Today in the stock market:
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary..
Pencils lost a few points.
Elevators rose, while escalators
continued their slow decline.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
WAS
EVIDENTLY A TRAMP.
More
Particulars of the Dead Man Found in the River Near Waco.
The Waco correspondent of the paper
sends the following in regard to the dead man found in
the river near that place, mention of which was made
previously:
"The dress of the man indicated
that he was a tramp. He had on three pairs of
pantsthe outside pair were corduroy; two light
undercoats and a cheap double wove overcoat, scotch plaid
on a the inside and a narrow diagonal stripe on the
outside. No papers or anything else were found pointing
to his identity, and a verdict of accidental drowning was
given by the coroner. From appearances the body had been
in the water for a long time and had been deposited on
the bank about three feet above low water during the rise
in the river about three weeks ago. Undertaker Verbryck
of Carl Junction was notified and took charge of the
remains and buried them in the Carl Junction cemetery.
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Today's Feature Maple Leaf Pageant
Registration
Underway
Registration for the Carthage
Maple Leaf Festival Pageants is now underway with
a September 27th deadline for all pageants.
This year brings a slight
change in the pageant process. "The Maple
Leaf Princess Pageant is a new category for us
this year," said Jeanine Poe, pageant chair.
"In years past it has been part of the
Junior Miss Pageant which covered girls from age
5 to 14. The Maple Leaf Committee decided to
break the Junior Miss Pageant into two smaller
age categories this year to hopefully allow both
age divisions to be more competitive. The Junior
Miss contestants will be judged on a 5-minute
interview and then on stage modeling. The
Princess Pageant contestants will also be judged
on a 5-minute interview and on stage modeling;
however, they are also asked to submit a one to
two paragraph essay on what they enjoy about the
Maple Leaf Festival or what Maple Leaf means to
them. We are looking forward to this new division
this year and feel it will give more young ladies
an opportunity to experience the Maple Leaf
Pageants."
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
Sponsored by Chad's Garage
Vickers Sets
Return After Heart Surgery
Brian Vickers, who made the
Chase for the Sprint Cup in 2009, competed in
only 11 races this season. After a 10th-place
finish at Darlington Raceway on May 8, he fell
ill.
Doctors discovered that
Vickers, 26, had developed blood clots in his
left leg, left finger and lungs. A regimen of
blood thinners made it impossible for him to
compete in his No. 83 Team Red Bull Toyota.
Recently, Vickers underwent
successful surgery to repair a small hole between
the two atriums of his heart. He also was
diagnosed with May-Thurner Syndrome, in which
blood flow is restricted because a vein and/or
artery are pinched. After surgery, a stent was
placed in a vein on July 13 to open it.
Now, however, Vickers expects
to return to full-time competition next year.
"Not only did we figure
out what the problem was," said Vickers,
"but we were able to fix it. ... Im
going to be back in the No. 83 and very excited
to be back with Red Bull."
Vickers, who has mostly stayed
away from the track, has spent off time traveling
and working out.
"My main priority is
getting back to racing next year," he said.
"Ive been given a gift. Things happen
for a reason. Ive had some time to think
back and look at my career, both personally and
professionally. I dont think Ill
change a lot when I come back, but I do think I
will change some. Im probably going to
tolerate a lot less, but at the same time there
will be areas I will tolerate a lot more -- just
depends on what it is. I have a new appreciation
for life. Im looking forward to it. I feel
great and cant wait to race."
Vickers, from Thomasville,
N.C., expects to be off blood thinners by
January, at which point he will get back in a
race car and begin testing to prepare for the
2011 season.
"What I love to do is
race," he said. "It is not only my job,
but my passion. Ive been missing that need
for speed, the competition, my people and friends
in the industry, but at the same time, it has
been nice to take a break."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
An interestin note,
the first Carthage board of trustees passed
the first six ordinances in July 1869.
The first was to establish
a regular meeting time twice a month.
Ordinance number two required any property
owner on the Square to construct walks of
dressed flag stones or of pine or oak lumber.
Ordinance number three made it illegal to
block any street or sidewalk by merchandizing
display. Ordinance four and five created a
public pound and forbade hogs, goats, and
horses to run at large. Ordinance number six
made drunkenness punishable by fine.
Course all of these
are still bein debated, cept
maybe the drunkenness one and the goats. The
more things change the more they stay the
same.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply |
Weekly
Columns
Dear Tom and Ray:
The BMW dealer told me that it
is going to cost $445 to replace the battery on
my 2006 330i BMW. I was told that it cost this
much because they have to reprogram the
cars computer to tell it that theres
a new battery. Is this true, or are they ripping
me off? The battery by itself cost $225. What are
your thoughts? - Ollie
Tom: My first thought is,
Im going into the BMW-battery-replacement
business!
Ray: I dont believe that
the computer has to be reprogrammed on this car,
Ollie. It does on the highter-end BMWs, but not
on the 3 Series.
Tom: In your car, Ollie, any
reprogramming would be done by YOU. Youd
have to reprogram the radio presets and the seat
setting and stuff like that, unless the shop does
what we do.
Ray: At our shop, we have a
"settings saver" device that we plug
into the cars data port before we change a
battery. Its essentially a 12-volt battery,
and it provides enough power during the battery
change to preserve all of your radio stations and
driver preferences. Im sure your dealership
has one of these, too.
Tom: I suspect that what
theyre charging you extra for is diagnosis.
Before we replace a battery, we test the charging
system to make sure the alternator is working and
nothing is draining the battery.
Ray: Checking the charging
system correctly takes about an hour and a half
of labor, which, at your BMW dealership, probably
is about 220 bucks. So there you go, Ollie.
Unfortunately, for this car,I think thats
the right price.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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