| today's
laugh Inside every older person is a younger person
wondering, ‘What the heck happened?’
A rather old fashioned lady, always
quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language,
was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband,
so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for
a reservation.
She wanted to make sure that the
camping ground was fully equipped, but didn’t know
quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just
couldn’t bring herselfto write the word
"toilet" in her letter.
After much thought, she finally came up
with the old fashioned term "Bathroom closet"
but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was
being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote
the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the
B.C.
"Does the camping ground have
it’s own B.C." is what she wrote.
Well, the camping ground owner
wasn’t a bit old fashioned, and he just
couldn’t figure out what the old lady was talking
about, so he showed the letter around a few of the
campers and the only thing they could come up with was
that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the
following reply.
Dear Madam,
I regret very much the delay in
answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of
informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of
our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people
at one time.
I admit that it is quite a distance
away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no
doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of
campers go there and many take their lunches along and
make a day of it. They usually arrive nice and early and
stay quite late.
The last time my wife and I went was
six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up
the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know
that there is a special supper planned there to raise
money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to
sit in comfort.
I would like to say that it pains me
very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is
surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so
busy most of the time.
As we grow older, it seems to be more
of an effort to go, especially in the cold weather. If
you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I
could go with you the first time you go, sit with you and
introduce you to all the other folks.
Remember this is a very friendly
community.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
E. Knell Has Lost
Another Registered Jersey Heifer.
E. Knell has lost another registered
Jersey heifer and it is believed that the animal was
poisoned. A week ago one of the finest heifers of Mr.
Knell’s herd died, but the circumstance aroused no
suspicion. This second case is too much and Mr. Knell is
of the opinion that she must have been poisoned by
someone as a piece of spite.
The dead animal is "Susie of
Carthage," 10 months old, and out of Beulah Shawhan,
one of the finest Jerseys in America. Mr. Knell would not
have considered an offer of $150 for her. The animals
which have died so suddenly and mysteriously are the very
pick of Mr. Knell’s original herd and were purchased
by him from the famous Shawhan herd in Lone Jack,
Missouri.
If it is a fact that the heifers were
poisoned by some persons they should be severely punished
and will be if their identity is ever discovered.
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Today's Feature Stone’s
Throw Dinner Theatre.
The Cemetery Club, a comedy by
Ivan Menchell, has been characterized as
"SteelMagnolias meets The Golden
Girls". Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre is
proud to present this two-act play which centers
on three women who have been friends for years.
Along with their husbands, they did everything
together— shows, cruises, dining and
dancing, and suffering through the social
gatherings of their friends and relatives.
Recently, however, each of the women has become a
widow so these days the only socializing for the
girls is weekly canasta, the occasional dinner
and a monthly trip to the cemetery to visit their
husbands.
This arrangement is just fine
for Doris, but Lucille has become tired of this
"Cemetery Club" and is moving on.
Directed by Doug Dickey, the
veteran cast features Linda Bailey, Shanti
Navarre, Idell Looney, Kevin Provins, and Betsy
Fleischaker.
Performances will be held at
Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre, 796 South
Stone Lane, Carthage, MO on May 12-14, and May
20-22, 2011.Reservations can be made by calling
the theatre at 417-358-9665.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Talked to a guy the other
day who was troubled. Said he was
startin’ ta think more like Jake
ever’day. I’m still not for sure
‘xactly what he meant, but I don’t
think he was feelin’ too good about it.
The fact is, most of us
don’t have a lot ta say ‘bout how
we look at things. They say that by the age
of three, most of us are already pretty well
set in our ways. Most just spend the rest of
their lives tryin’ to keep from
lettin’ the rest of the world know. One
lady said she looked in the mirror one day
and exclaimed, "My god, it’s my
mother."
Maybe that’s what this
feller was worried about, that some day
he’d see Jake in the mirror. Believe me,
that would make a lot a fellers linger in bed
a little longer in the mornin’.
I just ask one thing,
don’t use me as an excuse for what
you’re thinkin’.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Column
To Your Good
Health
By Paul G. Donohue,
M.D.
Bowling With an
Aneurysm
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I am a
73-year-old woman. I have an abdominal aortic
aneurysm. I have sonograms regularly. I am in a
bowling league. I bowl each week. My bowling ball
weighs 10 pounds. Should I bowl? My last
ultrasound shows that the aneurysm is 3.8 cm. --
F.S.
ANSWER: Your doctor is the only
one who can answer your question with authority.
He or she knows all the circumstances of your
health. However, I can tell you that most people
with an aneurysm of your size are encouraged to
be active. Lifting heavy weights is discouraged.
A 10-pound bowling ball isn’t considered a
heavy weight.
The size of an aneurysm
determines its risk of breaking apart and
bleeding profusely. Aneurysms smaller than 4 cm
are not in danger of suddenly rupturing. When an
aneurysm reaches 5 to 5.5 cm, then surgical
repair is recommended. You are quite a distance
away from the danger zone.
For readers: Aneurysms are
bulges of an artery wall, and are weak spots.
***
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I hope you
will discuss lactose intolerance. I am 60 and
just developed it. -- J.B.
ANSWER: Lactose is milk sugar.
In our digestive tracts is an enzyme -- lactase
-- that digests milk sugar. People with too
little of the lactase enzyme have trouble when
they drink or eat dairy products. Milk sugar
doesn’t break down. The undigested sugar
leads to gas production, stomach cramps and
diarrhea.
Medical tests can confirm the
dearth of the lactase enzyme.
Standard treatment of lactose
intolerance (also called lactase deficiency) is
avoidance of dairy products. Most cheeses have
little lactose, so they can be eaten. Yogurt made
from live cultures is usually tolerated.
Furthermore, many dairy
products can be pretreated with lactase, and
people with the intolerance are not bothered by
such products. The lactase enzyme comes in pill
and liquid forms. It can be added to milk or
taken by mouth before eating or drinking dairy
products.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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