| today's
laugh Q: How are politicians like baby diapers?
A: Because they should be changed
often, and for the same reasons
Q: How did Clinton create 14 million
new jobs?
A: 13 million of them were comedians.
I think that all right-thinking people
in this country are sick and tired of being told that
ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with
being sick and tired. I’m certainly not! But
I’m sick and tired of being told that I am! --Monty
Python
It had been raining for days and days,
and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters
rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the
roof of his house.
As the waters rose higher and higher, a
man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in.
"No," replied the man on the roof. "I have
faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the
man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed
for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and
suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!"
shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the
man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord
will save me." So the man in the speedboat went
away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters continued to rise. A
helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot
announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof.
"No," replied the man on the roof. "I have
faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the
helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God
to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and
eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was
washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.
Upon arriving in heaven, the man
marched straight over to God. "Heavenly
Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed
to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?"
God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you
two boats and a helicopter, what more did you
expect?"
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
KADERLY AND SIMPSON
SET FREE.
Lamar Rape
Suspects Acquitted.
The trial of William Kaderly and
William Simpson, the two farmers who were charged with
the rape of Mrs. Resh near Lamar sometime ago, came to an
abrupt end yesterday morning just after 11 o’clock
when the jury returned a verdict of not guilty without
leaving their seats. After all the testimony for the
state was in the attorneys for the defendants, offered a
demurrer. The demurrer was sustained in each instance and
the court instructed the jury to find the men not guilty,
which they did. The verdict gave general satisfaction.
The Lamar Republican, with
characteristic enterprise, immediately issued an extra
edition, from which the above details are taken.
| |
Today's Feature City Tax Levy To
Be Set.
An Ordinance levying general
taxes upon real property located within the City
of Carthage, Jasper County, Missouri for the year
2011 was heard in first reading last Tuesday
evening at the regular Council meeting.
These valuations are necessary
in order to set the City Property Tax Levy with
the State and County by the September 1, 2011
deadline. According to preliminary assessed
valuation notice the levy will increase just
slightly to keep the City "revenue
neutral".
The 2010 levy for the city was
.7499 per 100 valuation. The preliminary levy
would be .7517. The actual levy is subject to
change if subsequent information is received or
upon notice from the State Auditor’s Office
and the Jasper County Clerk’s Office.
A home owner with a home valued
at $100,000 would have paid $142.48 in City
property tax according to the City Clerk’s
office. The new preliminary rate would increase
that amount to $142.82 for the next year.
Jasper
County Jail Count
unknown August
11, 2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
|
 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Got into a situation once.
I ended up boardin’ a horse that was
bein’ fought over by a couple
gettin’ a divorce. Kept it an’ fed
it and exercised it for nearly a year without
any financial consideration. When the split
was legal, I offered to buy the horse, but
only ended up with some expenses bein’
covered.
The horse had some spirit,
so when I saw the owner comin’ with a
trailer on that muggy summer day, I knew
there would be trouble. I was prob’ly
hopin’ after fightin’ ta load the
owner might decide reconsider my offer. I sat
on the porch and watched the horse get shoved
and pulled, nearly choked with a rope. I
finally had ta go down and calm the animal
and walk it into the trailer.
I don’t know that I
did the horse a favor, seein’ as how it
would prob’ly be treated. There
wasn’t much option.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
|
| Sponsored by
Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Column
artCentral
ART NOTES from
Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
artCentral has been fortunate
to again receive a number of new members during
this past season. Often times we receive new
members after they have visited during an
artist’s opening, as friends of the artist
or the artist’s family. Many times we have
visitors come by during an exhibition either from
reading something about us in one of the local,
or even occasionally the Springfield papers, or
the Mornin’ Mail. I do try to have our
literature in various places around town, but
rarely does anyone just "happen onto
us" as our location is not exactly on a
"beaten track." Still, as we can’t
just pick up and move our acre and house at will,
we try to maintain as high a profile as possible.
Some folks find their way to artCentral and the
Hyde House after the annual kid’s artCamp,
as they bring their kids and then see where we
are and what we do. I do appreciate the
kid’s camp for this publicity, and know it
is one more positive aspect of the camp. Lastly,
we always gain members around the time of the
annual Membership Show, and for this we are
grateful. Our new members this year thus far
number 27, and among these are artists and
non-artists, seniors, families and individuals.
They live in Carthage, Joplin, the other towns
surrounding us, in Kansas and Oklahoma, in Texas
and New York and Oregon. I am pleased to have
such a varied and supportive membership, and
offer them the benefits of a quarterly
newsletter, full color invitations to each art
show and event, invitations to our
children’s camp and other workshops and
classes as they occur. Those that live nearby can
take advantage of our 200+ volume art library,
purchase or display their own art based
merchandise in our gift shop area, and use the
property for their special event or party. Most
importantly, they may use free of charge the
pottery studio in the outside building, which
features two kilns and several electric and one
kick-style pottery wheels, tables for working
clay, and shelves to store equipment. We ask only
a small charge for the firing fee. The benefits
of membership with artCentral also include the
opportunity to serve on our working board of
directors, or request your own art exhibition in
one of the two galleries depending on the body of
your work. We welcome your interest and your
questions, and do not hesitate to call Sally at
417 388 1625 to request information to become a
part of our 244 memberships- strong organization
known as artCentral!
|
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
|