| today's
laugh Two guys were working for the city. One would
furiously dig a hole, then the other would come behind
him and quickly fill the hole. They were drenched in
sweat.
A man watching from the sidewalk
couldn’t believe how hard they were working, but
also couldn’t understand what they were doing.
Finally he said:
"I’m confused. You dig a hole
and then your partner comes behind you and fills it up
again!"
The digger leaned on his shovel and
replied, "Oh yeah, it must look funny. You see, the
lazy bum who plants the trees is sick again today!"
"If guns are outlawed, how can we
shoot the liberals?--Mike Gunn, Mississippi senator, 1991
Q: What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A: Open toad!
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
CUT BY A BUTCHER KNIFE.
Rose Crandall
Victim of an
Accident at the
Slaughter House.
While Rose Crandall and Tom Rutherford
were skinning a beef at Henry Rose’s slaughter house
near the brick yards yesterday afternoon, the
latter’s knife slipped and struck Crandall in the
back of the right wrist, cutting a deep and dangerous
wound.
Robert Sharp brought Crandall up town
where Ed Ray, a medical student at the office of his
step-father, Dr. Taylor, dressed the wound. It was not
found necessary to sew it up.
M. B. Johnston will put a basement and
new foundation under his house on South Maple street
beginning next week. Tom Gatlin and T. W. Thurston are
the contractors.
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Today's Feature Alcohol Sting.
On Saturday, December 17, 2011,
members of the Jasper County Sheriff’s
Office and MADD conducted an underage alcohol
compliance check of businesses that sell alcohol
in Jasper County, MO.
A total of 53 businesses were
checked.45 were compliant.
8 were non-compliant. They are:
*Maria’s Mexican
Restaurant, 32nd and Arizona in Joplin.
Frank’s Lounge, Main and
23rd Street in Joplin
*Discount Liquor and Smokes,
1817 S. Main in Joplin
**Paddoc Liquor, Old 66 and
Stateline Road, Joplin
Kum-n-Go, 1006 S. Rangeline
Road, Joplin
DJ’s Drive Thru Liquor,
10th and Maiden Lane, Joplin
Brad’s Liquor Store,
Oronogo
*Summer Fresh Market, Carl
Junction
* Paperwork was sent to the
Jasper County Sheriff’s Office for filing of
charges ** Was arrested on scene for Sale to
Minor and Resisting or Interfering with Arrest
Jasper
County Jail Count
181 December 22,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I find myself readin’
the labels of various packaged snacks in a
weak moment from time to time. I have noticed
one ingredient that has perked my curiosity.
I have yet to figure why
they identify "mechanically separated
chicken." This precisely defined meat
product pops up in hot dogs, polish sausages,
and various snack sticks like Slim Jims.
Havin’ known some
folks that worked in a hot dog factory,
I’m not surprised by anything that might
be considered fair game as an ingredient, I
just can’t understand what difference it
makes if the chicken is "mechanically
separated." I’ve never seen the
designation for beef or pork.
In reality, I’m
prob’ly not wantin’ to hear a
detailed explanation. I suppose some things
are better left unknown.
This is some fact, but
mainly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Column
Today’s message will be
short, but I wanted to wish all the readers ( I
sound like Mike Pound who always writes "all
my 10 readers!" ) a very Happy Christmas, as
I am a Christian, and to all a prosperous New
Year. Like you, I am still adding to a gift list,
and don’t forget, the gift of art is always
a wonderful idea for both personal as well as
group gifts. No other gift can be appreciated by
so many people at the same time! Locally, we have
two fine galleries that sell original art, both
Cherry’s Frame and Gallery on Howard St.
near the square and Koka Gallery on Main, just
south of the square. Either of these
establishments is locally owned and features both
local and area artists work in all price points.
Stop by for that last minute gift you may need
for a difficult relative or friend—someone
who has everything. Art is always appreciated and
no one can have too much! (No, really. As a
former interior designer, I know firsthand that
there is always more space on a wall if you look
hard enough!) Shop locally, and shop the
galleries. They have wonderful things. See you in
2012!
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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