| today's
laugh Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard
this bull before.
What’s the difference between a
Yankee zoo and a Redneck zoo?
On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will
have the name of the animal and the scientific name in
Latin.
A Southern zoo will have the name of
the animal and a recipe.
Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of
humor.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a
50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a
90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
The things that come to those that wait
may be the things left by those who got there first.
It is said that if you line up all the
cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid
enough to try and pass them.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry.
Then things get worse.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Still Looking for His
Horse.
Groceryman A. Hughes left this
afternoon to visit William Cadderly, 20 miles northwest
of this city, to see a stray horse that he thinks may be
the one that was stolen from him over a week ago.
Good Both in Quality
and Quantity.
The Arlington hotel feels proud of its
"cuisine" and points to its jolly cook as a
model. He was enticed onto the hay scales yesterday and
tipped the beam at 313 pounds.
J. C. Tuttle is confined to his home
today from overwork, and as his partner in the implement
business, W.S. Shuler, is out of town, Miss Ina Tuttle,
the bookkeeper, is in charge at the Shuler-Tuttle
implement house.
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Today's Feature Mornin’
Mail Goes Weekly.
After nearly 20 years as a
daily publication, the Monin’ Mail
will become a weekly publication starting next
week.
Proprietor H.J. Johnson says
that the paper never missed a day of regular
distribution since its beginning on June 18,
1992.
The paper will continue its
focus on community events, local government, and
activities that interest area readers.
"The plan at this point is
to distribute 2,000 copies a week through our
over eighty distribution points throughout the
city," said Johnson. "We will also
continue to make our web site,
www.morninmail.com, available to readers."
The paper will be circulated on
Thursdays and will continue to be the only
newspaper actually printed in Carthage.
"There will eventually be
some format changes," Johnson continued,
"but we don’t plan anything too radical
in the beginning. The once a week schedule will
take a while to get used to, so there will be a
gradual transition to any new features."
Johnson recently announced that
the Mornin’ Mail is up for sale.
Jasper
County Jail Count
179 December 28,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
It’ll be a little
strange not seein’ the Mornin’ Mail
show up ever’ day, but like most
changes, hopefully folks will grow accustom
to it.
We’ve seen a lotta
changes over the last twenty years. When we
first began, the City Council was still
meetin’ in the Courthouse. We’ve
tried to document the goin’s on of the
community from chicken raisin’ to
shuttin’ down the airport. Dog and cat
regulation and the fireworks blow-up.
The new weekly format opens
the opportunity to put some of that in
perspective and bring it together in a
broader overlook.
I do wanna thank our loyal
readers and sponsors who have made the trip
possible.
Be sure to tell ‘em ya
saw it in the Mornin’ Mail.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply |
Weekly
Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
A friend and I are having a
debate that I was hoping you two would be able to
settle. We each recently bought pre-owned
vehicles, and we both are members of the dying
breed of drivers who love to drive cars with
manual transmissions. Both cars are in stellar
shape, both have fewer than 30,000 miles and have
their original clutches. The disagreement is
about driving styles. My friend says that he gets
better fuel economy when he drives at higher revs
in a lower gear. I, on the other hand, believe
that driving lower revs in a higher gear is more
efficient. What do you say?-- Marie
RAY: While he’s reading
this first paragraph, Marie, we’ll stall for
time so you can double your wager. Because
he’s nuts.
TOM: Completely. The higher the
engine revs, the more fuel it uses. It’s
like walking. On the same terrain, the faster
your legs move, the more calories you burn.
RAY: That’s why, in
chasing better fuel economy, carmakers have
continually added more gears. The Ford Focus we
drove a few weeks ago had a six-speed automatic.
And the BMW X3 we drove last week had an
eight-speed!
TOM: Why? Because the higher
the gear, the fewer times the engine has to turn
for each rotation of the wheels. The slower the
engine turns, the less fuel it uses.
RAY: If your friend is really
thickheaded, suggest that the two of you take a
bike ride. Find a couple of 10-speed bikes. Find
a flat road to simulate a highway.
TOM: Then set the rules: You
get to use all 10 of your gears, but he can only
go up to 3rd gear on his bike.
RAY: At the end of the race,
when he’s exhausted, sweating profusely and
doubled over trying to catch his breath, ask him
how much "fuel" he used keeping up with
you, and then collect on your bet, Marie.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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