| today's
laugh NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent
to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to
Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was
asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. ‘A
million dollars,’ he answered, ‘because I want
to donate it to M.I.T.’
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked
the same question. He asked for $2 million. ‘I want
to give a million to my family,’ he explained,
‘and leave the other million for the advancement of
medical research.’
The last applicant was a lawyer. When
asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the
interviewer’s ear, ‘Three million
dollars.’
‘Why so much more than the
others?’ asked the interviewer.
The lawyer replied, ‘If you give
me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll
keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to
Mars.’
Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000
Tennessee State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a
million years.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Suspected of Cattle
Stealing.
Francis Rickner who works at the
Pleasant Valley mines has been indicted by the grand jury
for stealing a cow several months ago. He is strongly
suspected of being a member of the same gang with Howard
and Neely who were arrested for stealing cattle last
fall.
The Frisco line has adopted a new cash
fare system for the Inter Urban service. All conductors
on the latter division have been provided with one of the
little registering machines, thus making it just as
convenient for passengers to pay on board the train as to
purchase their tickets in advance.
Mr. and Mrs. Joe Logan, jr., have
changed the date of their card party to be given next
Tuesday evening to Monday, the former date conflicting
with the reception to be given Miss Helen Clark by the
Friday Afternoon club.
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Today's Feature Extension
Council Elections.
The 2012 public election of ten
new members and one to fill an uncompleted term
for the Jasper County University of Missouri
Extension County Council will take place January
17-31.
Every county in Missouri has an
extension council made up of elected and
appointed members who represent the broad
educational needs and backgrounds of people in
that county.
Eleven positions on the Council
will be filled from the following nominees: Lisa
Hale, Jason Hill, Lea Ann Keeling, and Kerry
Sturgis, Carthage; Barbara Hunter, Steve Hunter,
Glenn Moll, Karen Moll, Jennifer Pryer, Shawn
Pryer, and Mark Russell, Jasper; Larry Jackson,
Reeds; Donald Shoup and Gary Stubblefield, Carl
Junction; Danny Read, Joplin; and Donna Harlan,
Sarcoxie.
University of Missouri
Extension offers educational programs addressing
areas such as agriculture, horticulture,
nutrition, family financial education, business
and industry, community development and youth
development (4-H) for all citizens of Missouri.
For information call the Extension office at
417-358-2158.
Jasper
County Jail Count
179 December 29,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Some statistics are pretty
informative, others are just
interestin’, most just make ya wonder
who keeps track of this stuff.
The story I think of was of
the two car manufacturers who had a race. Of
course one won and one lost. Both, it turned
out, widely distributed their own
braggin’ rights.
The one that one of course
told of comin’ in ahead of its
competitor.
The one that lost was more
inventive in its delivery of the facts.
Number two bragged that it came in second
place, while its competitor finished only
second from last.
Both stories of course
bein’ nothin’ but the truth, but
neither really meanin’ much except to
the ones tellin’ the tale.
I get the feelin’ that
some of the national political figures have
heard the story.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Column
FLASHBACK
By Mick Harper
1. Name the duo that sang
"Bird Dog." What was the year?
2. In the question above, just
what was a "bird dog"?
3. Who sang the hit song
"When Will I See You Again?"
4. Which group recorded
"Big Girls Don’t Cry" and when?
5. What was the name of Stevie
Wonder’s 1985 hit?
6. Name the group that wrote
and recorded "Nothing Else Matters,"
and the year.
7. Which group is responsible
for "Green Tambourine?"
Answers
1. The Everly Brothers, in
1958. The song hit near the top of the Billboard
Hot 100 chart, as well as the country and R&B
charts.
2. Back in that musically
innocent time, a bird dog was a guy who tried to
steal another guy’s girl.
3. The Three Degrees, in 1974.
4. The Four Seasons, in 1962.
Frankie Valli’s falsetto carried many of the
Four Season’s songs.
5. "Part-Time Lover."
The song hit the top of multiple charts: pop,
R&B and adult contemporary.
6. Metallica, in 1991. The
song, a crowd fave, has been covered by numerous
groups.
7. The Lemon Pipers, in 1967.
The tune, about a street musician, managed a full
week at No. 1 on the charts.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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