today's
laugh A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far
away country to represent a long-term client accused of
robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the
client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney
e-mailed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste,
"Appeal immediately."
An 85-year-old widow went on a blind
date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her
daughters house later that night, she seemed upset.
"What happened, Mother?" the
daughter asked.
"I had to slap his face three
times!"
"You mean he got fresh?"
"No," she answered, "I
thought he was dead."
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Tasteful
Bachelors Den.
Jimmie Rainwaters bachelor
quarters are fitted up in a manner to fill the average
tenant bachelor with envy, and the favored few who are
permitted to enter the charming portals report it the
coziest and most ornamental place in town. He is always
adding to his treasure and yesterday received a shipment
of imported stuffs, recently ordered.
In the lot is a pair of genuine camel
hair blankets, a camels hair pillow which not only
has a camels hair case but is stuffed with that
material.
He also received a fine woolen Scotch
plaid shawl, manufactured at Stuttgart, Germany. Each
side of it is a different pattern, one side being the
Macpherson plaid and the Logan, both well known Scotch
clans. Two Navajo Indian rugs are also recent
acquisitions to the many novelties which abound in Mr.
Rainwaters typical bachelor quarters.
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Today's Feature United Way
Report Luncheon.
Carthage Area United Way, Inc.
held its Second Report Luncheon Thursday,
December 1st at the new Carthage Water &
Electric Community Room.
Dr. Greg Goetzinger, Campaign
Chairman conducted the meeting and various
company and division volunteers reported on how
their campaigns were progressing. The campaign is
at 88% of its goal.
Agency Directors or
representatives attending gave a brief report on
their agency and noted the increase in needs and
gratefulness for volunteers and donors.
Quincy Charleston, High School
Student Advocate captain, reported they have
raised approximately $400.00 through a bake sale
and are planning other fundraisers.
Amanda Fosdick, with Hometown
Bank and volunteer Account Executive for United
Way spoke about The Facebook campaign. When
someone goes to Carthage Area United Ways
Facebook page and "likes" it, then
sponsors Dr. Flys Salon, Beimdiek
Insurance, Carthage Vision Clinic and Hometown
Bank will donate .50 per "like" to the
campaign. Donations online can also be made
through the Paypal link.
Jasper
County Jail Count
173 December 2,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Ive always liked
gadgets. Shucks, I just like the word gadget.
Sounds kinda off the wall and fun. Most
gadgets are based on some real great idea,
but most just dont seem ta be that
practical.
Im sure that little
fishin rod you carry around in your
pocket makes a lota sense to some folks. I
dont spend a lota time at the
fishin hole, but Ive never
actually seen anyone usin one a the
things.
Now a fly swatter,
thats a real practical gadget cause
most anyone can use one effectively. If ya
run into someone who cant operate a fly
swatter, keep your distance.
As a kid I put together a
series of pulleys and cord to make my bed.
Sides nearly gettin strangled one
night, it really didnt save any time.
It was just a fun gadget like most ya see.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Column
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Storm Door
Wont Latch Tightly
Q: Im having a problem
with my storm door not closing all the way. I
think the problem is that the door is two steps
from the landing, and everyone, including myself,
has a tendency to pull down on the handle when we
are standing on the outside landing. I have tried
WD 40 and also reset the screws, but it continues
to stop as it hits the striker and does not close
completely. My concern is that the wind will get
a hold of storm door and tear it up. Please help.
-- Jack Z., via e-mail
A: Try putting a shim (a thin
piece of cardboard or wood trimmed to the same
size as the hinge) behind the storm doors
bottom hinge and retighten the screws; this may
lift the door the few centimeters it needs to
clear the striker.
You also should double-check
the striker itself. See if it is loose, and if
not, loosen the plate to find out if you can
adjust its position slightly so that the latch
engages completely.
The door closer is probably not
the trouble in this case, but double-check its
attachment points. The screws may have pulled
loose over the years and the closers
position may have shifted just a bit, preventing
the door from closing fully. If the closer needs
to be resecured, replace the old screws with
longer ones (about 2 1/2 inches) so the closer
attaches to the frame more securely.
Finally, check the condition of
the door itself, including vinyl seals -- they
should be tight around the storm door, not
bulging out.
HOME TIP: To keep a storm door
from slamming shut, adjust the tension on the
door closer (the tube-like device set
horizontally inside the door. Twist the
tension-adjustment screw located near the end of
the cylinder until the door closes quietly.
HOME TIP: To remove paint or
grime from door hinges or window handles, remove
the parts and place in an old saucepan filled
with four tablespoons of baking soda to one quart
water. Heat until the water reaches a simmer,
then turn off and let the hardware soak for 20
minutes. Remove and scrub with a soft brush.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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