| today's
laugh An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his
boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer
who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under
water.
"What kind of salesman are
you?" the boss scolded. "Get out there and sell
him a boat."
Two men were walking through the woods
and came upon a big black, deep hole. One man picked up a
rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for
the rock to hit bottom. There was no sound.
He turned to the other guy and said
"that must be a deep hole...let’s throw a
bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit
bottom." The men found a bigger rock and both picked
it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in.
They listened for some time and never
heard a sound. Again, they agreed that this must be one
deep hole and maybe they should throw something even
bigger into it.
One man spotted a rail-road tie nearby.
They picked up the tie, grunting and groaning, and lugged
it to the hole. They tossed it in. No sound. All of a
sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like
the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into
the hole. The men were amazed.
About that time, an old hayseed farmer
came out of the woods and asked the men if they had seen
a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible
incident they had just witnessed...they had just seen
this goat fly out of the woods and run and leap into the
big hole. The man asked the farmer if this could have
been his goat.
The old farmer said "naw, that
can’t be my goat...he was chained to a railroad
tie."
A waist is a terrible thing to mind!
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
CRIMINAL DOCKET IS ON.
The circuit court has been occupied
most of yesterday and today in the case of the state vs.
Geo. P. Walker, charged with embezzlement. Mr. Walker was
indicted by a grand jury prior to the present term, but
the case is just now reaching trial. The trouble grows
out of a difference between the defendant and the
Interstate Oil Co. of Kansas City, for which the
defendant was the Joplin agent.
Over a year ago the oil company
established an office at Joplin, and claims that the
defendant was short in settlement and took more of the
business than he was entitled to, to setup an independent
agency The defendant claims that he had worked up the
business at great pains and states that he settled
equitably with the company in every respect, as well as
turned over all the details of the agency to which they
were entitled.
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Today's Feature Visioning
Process Begins.
The first meeting of the
Downtown Visioning Committee met yesterday
afternoon in City Hall. Members in attendance
were encourage to "dream" of how they
would like to see the Carthage downtown area in
the next 15 to 20 years.
Professor Jay Garrott of Drury
University told the committee that the idea of
this exercise was not to consider budgetary or
political limitations at this time. The main
focus of the group would be to involve the
community in creating a catalogue of ideas that
could ultimately become a "toolkit" for
the development of a specific long term visioning
plan.
The Committee will work in
conjunction with six students from Drury to
develop the toolkit and then continue to revise
the plan until it can submit a resolution to the
City council for consideration recommending the
developed community vision.
Professor Garrott says students
from Drury have been involved in more than a
dozen such projects including Webb City and
Monett.
The committee selected Janet
Stafford as Chair and Keith Zoromski Vice-Chair.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I had a friend once that
tried to operate his personal life on a five
year plan. Any major decision would be viewed
from the standpoint of whether or not it fit
into the perimeters of the current outline.
He would try to use the end
of the five year period to stop and evaluate
whether the plan was workin’ or not. He
would then either scrap the plan and draw up
another one, or adjust and continue with a
new modified model. Fortunately, he continued
to include his wife and kids in all of the
five year periods that I was acquainted with
him. For some things, five years just
isn’t really enough time to get a true
evaluation.
But then, sometimes
lookin’ back a few years can be the best
guide for lookin’ ahead the next five.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Columns
HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• Remove mineral deposits
from shower fixtures by removing them and boiling
them in straight white vinegar for 15 minutes.
Allow it to cool and then scrub with a brush.
Rinse and reattach.
• Make a paste of cream of
tartar and hydrogen peroxide to remove rust
stains from sinks or bathtubs.
• "To keep my
preschooler organized when it comes time to get
dressed, I fold outfits together and store them
that way in his dresser. I use stickers on the
drawers to show what kind of outfits it contains.
For instance, long sleeves and pants are in the
"snowflake" drawer, and regular jeans
and T-shirts are in another drawer. Pajamas are
in a drawer with big Z’s and a moon."
-- P.C. in Oregon
• Recycle milk cartons by
filling a couple with sand and storing them in
your car. You can use this to add traction if you
get stuck in the snow.
• "Spritz the heels
and toes of your pantyhose with hairspray to help
them last longer and have less runs. This has
worked for me for 30 years." -- L.B. in
Georgia
• "Rid carpets of
static cling by mixing eight ounces of water and
three tablespoons of liquid fabric softener in a
spray bottle. Spray as needed." -- E.M. in
Pennsylvania
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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