today's
laugh One morning, a company CEO read a letter from
one of his employees:
Dear Bo$$,
A$ all of u$ have read in the
new$paper$, the U$ economy ha$ come out of the rece$$ion.
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing
mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of
the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport
including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean
and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely, Norman
The next day, the employee received
this reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard.
NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed
that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as of yet.
NOw the newspapers are saying the
worlds leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the
United States may go into aNOther recession. I have
NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Central Building
Settling.
The Central school building is
settling. The bare statement is sufficient to cause a
good deal of uneasiness on the part of parents, but there
seems to be no immediate need for alarm.
A reporter on his rounds today, noticed
that the west wall of the building was cracked and
stopped to investigate. The wall is in very bad shape and
long cracks extend up and down. A part of the wall has
settled considerably. The stone sill of one of the
windows on the second floor has been broken squarely in
two by the settling and the arch over another one of the
windows has been forced outward several inches. The board
of education has been informed of the settling and will
have an architect inspect the building at once.
The Central building was erected in
1870 and its days of usefulness are about over, as it
will soon be torn down.
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Today's Feature Another
restraining order against towing company.
Attorney General Chris Koster
said today his office has obtained a temporary
restraining order against a Parkville towing
company in the aftermath of the May 22 Joplin
tornado.
Koster said Northland Tow
Service, LLC, was towing motor vehicles that had
been damaged by the tornado, falsely representing
to some consumers that it worked with an
insurance company and simply towing other
vehicles without the owners knowledge or
permission. Fifty-four vehicles were towed from
the area affected by the tornado to a location in
Baxter Springs, Kansas.
Koster said the court order
prohibits the company from conducting business in
Joplin, Jasper County, or Newton County, without
having previously been solicited to do so. This
is the second time the Attorney General has
obtained a temporary restraining order against a
towing company related to the Joplin tornado. In
June, the Attorney General filed a lawsuit
against Independence Tow & Recovery, Inc. In
addition to obtaining the temporary restraining
orders, the Attorney General is seeking
restitution.
Jasper
County Jail Count
186 July 8, 2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Ive never known
anyone who could explain why a dog circles
several times for it finally lays down.
There could be a number of explanations I
suppose, but its such a common
occurrence, there must be one absolute
reason.
Id have ta guess that
it has somethin to do with the instinct
to not perch on some object or critter that
might be harmful.
The old story of the coon
dog sittin on the porch howlin
comes ta mind.
"Somethin out in
the woods makin that dog howl like
that," asked a visitor.
"No," says the
owner, "the dog just sat on a nail and
is too lazy to get up."
I suppose even more
interestin is the fact that us humans
will sit and watch an animal goin round
in circles tryin to figure out why.
Makes ya wonder who the superior species
really is.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Column
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Safe Summer Fun
Even in the northernmost
reaches of the country, were now well into
summer and its routine of barbecues, swimming and
general outdoor fun. Of course, with all these
activities, an element of risk is always present.
Here are a few suggestions to
keep your family and yourself safe this summer:
Keep barbecue grills at
least 5 to 10 feet away from the house. Grills
give off tremendous heat, which will melt vinyl
siding easily and can cause a house fire.
Place a fire
extinguisher near the grill when its in
operation.
Prevent excess sparks
and flare-ups on the grill: Heat the charcoal
properly, and dont place too many high-fat
items over the charcoal at once. If the fire
flares up, close the grill lid for a few seconds,
then open and remove greasy foods from the grill.
If using an inflatable
swimming pool to entertain the kids, assign a
responsible adult to watch the pool at all times.
Toddlers can drown in just a few inches of water.
The same goes for any
type of backyard activity with children: Have a
responsible adult supervise all activities to
prevent accidents or stop kids from wandering
off.
Repair or replace any
broken or splintered outdoor furniture before
your event, and put away lawn tools and pet toys.
Wear high-SPF sunscreen,
a hat and sunglasses when outside on a sunny day.
Drink plenty of water throughout the event, and
limit alcohol consumption.
Check yourself and the
family for ticks at the end of the day, and
remove them immediately. You can reduce the
chance of having one jump on you by trimming the
grass beforehand, pruning back low-hanging tree
branches, and wearing hats and long sleeves when
possible.
HOME TIP: Try using a charcoal
starter to preheat charcoal more evenly; this
provides more consistent heat and gives off fewer
sparks.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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