today's
laugh Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the
church. Everyone started screaming and running for the
front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort
to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the
Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly
in his pew, not moving . . . seemingly oblivious to the
fact that Gods ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he
walked up to the man and said, "Dont you know
who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure
do."
Satan asked, "Arent you
afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure aint," said
the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this
and queried, "Why arent you afraid of
me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been
married to your sister for over 48 years."
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Burglars Last Night.
Last night while Simon Bistline and
family were at church their home was entered by burglars.
They had forced a chisel under the sash and burst the
lock off the window. They plundered three rooms, leaving
everything in a disturbed condition. They took all of Mr.
Bistlines clothes, among them a nice summer suit of
navy blue, and a pocketbook belonging to Alice Bistline.
Luckily the pocketbook was empty. A pocketbook containing
$5 and a ten-dollar bill in a drawer were both overlooked
by the thieves. The marauders took the front door key,
leaving the window and door open.
A set of light double harness and half
a set of heavy double harness were stolen from the barn
of John Maxwell, a farmer who lives six miles northeast
of Carthage on the Avilla road, sometime last night. The
police have been notified and are keeping a lookout for
the stolen property.
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Today's Feature Concealed Carry
Law Changes.
Effective August 28, 2011,
House Bill 294 goes in effect.
This new law will make a few
changes to the Missouri Concealed Carry law.
First it lowers the age from 23 years old to 21
years old to be eligible for a CCW permit. Second
it changes some of the training standards that
are required for the firearms safety training
course. The new law will require students to
qualify with both a revolver and a semiautomatic
pistol. Previously applicants only had to
demonstrate his or her ability to safely load and
unload a revolver and semiautomatic pistol and
demonstrate marksmanship with both. Under the
changes, applicants will have to shoot 50 rounds
of practice and a test of 20 rounds with both the
revolver and semiautomatic pistol.
These changes will not affect
subjects that currently hold a Missouri Concealed
Carry permit. It will only apply to new
applicants. Citizens, who have previously taken
an approved safety class but have not yet applied
for their permit, will need to do so before
August 28th or they will be subject to the new
training standards. This means that if the
training they have already taken does not meet
the new standard, they will not be eligible for a
CCW permit without further training.
For more information concerning
concealed carry permits, you can call Sgt. George
Fox at the Jasper County Sheriffs Office at
417-358-8177 extension 1319.
Jasper
County Jail Count
188 July 21,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
A friend a mine just got
one a those "free" puppies.
It began by learnin
the choices cuts of various pieces of
furniture. Those chewy morsels that never
quite look the same after a few weeks of dog
trainin.
If ya notice, owners are
always asked to attend obedience classes
along with the dog. Ive often wondered
exactly who was bein trained.
Course dogs learn fast, just like kids.
They know what they can get away with and
eventually the owners come to understand the
relationship also.
This new pup will have a
good home and probly get away with
enough to make everone happy. Im
gonna wait a few weeks ta visit so as ta not
disturb the ritual of gettin into the
routine.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
.
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Weekly
Column
artCentral
ART NOTES from
Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
With artCamp in full swing here
at Hyde House, things are lively and a bit crazy!
I have today 23 students signed here for classes,
54 are enrolled total, and yet we still have good
availability in several classes this week and
particularly next week. Each class is open to
usually no more than 12 students, but many have
only 6-8 which allows for a good teacher-student
ratio, and in art that is important! I
appreciated Andra Stefanoni from the GLOBE coming
by today to take photographs and interview the
kids, and I am especially glad when I hear a
student giving an interview, saying how much they
enjoy camp and look forward to attending each
year. Today one said she liked the atmosphere for
art better than at school, as they have more time
and are more relaxed, doing classes they
dont do elsewhere. It is always fun to hear
about those who look forward to turning
"8" so that they can come to camp,
especially when older siblings have been here and
told them about what they do. In the same
respect, I do have some who have
"outgrown" camp since I have been
director, and it is sad when they reach 14 and
are no longer eligible to come as a
studentsome do return as aides, and it is
fun to have them in that capacity. This year we
bid farewell to a special "long-time
student" Tessa Foti of Joplin, who has been
attending artCamp for the past 5 years, attending
most days yearly. Tessa is a talented and
creative student. She is always cheerful and
helpful to new students and we will certainly
miss her curly hair and bouncy presence. She says
she wants to be a teachers aide next year,
so we will see if that is still her desire next
summer! The attendance has been good thus far,
with each participant who signed up attending
those classes signed up for. Clay boxes have been
constructed and are drying awaiting firing and
glazing or painting. Today, ceramic birds are
being hand formed from clay, and watercolors
being painted and action figures drawn and
painted. Future classes include making cupcakes
from Model Magic, crocheting & beading cell
phone covers, making sushi from colored felts,
and vintage rock posters on canvas. Two classes
will involve clothing, one reverse dying and the
other a re-styling of existing garments. Beads
and Charms will be sculpted from Sculpty clay for
bracelets, and giant bugs will be made from small
cardboard boxes. Canvas tote bags will be painted
Warhol style, and basic embroidery and felting
will be taught. If these things sound interesting
to you, sorry! You must be aged 8-14! But give me
a call and get your student signed up, as we have
a whole week next week to go! 417 358 4404
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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