| today's
laugh Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn
right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at
35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard
the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
A woman without a man is like a fish
without a bicycle.
Q: How can you tell if a Texas redneck
is married?
A: There is dried chewing tobacco on
both sides of his pickup truck.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
An old man goes to his doctor and says,
"I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as
good as it used to be, what should I do?"
The doctor replies, "Try this test
to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen
doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a
question. If she doesn’t respond keep moving closer,
asking the question until she hears you."
The man goes home and sees his wife
preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and
says, "What’s for dinner, honey?"
No response.
He moves to ten feet behind her and
asks again, no response. Five feet, no answer.
Finally he stands directly behind her
and says, "Honey, what’s for supper?"
She says, "For the fourth time, I
SAID CHICKEN!"
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Nearly All the Money
for the Carriage Factory Has Been Raised.
The committee appointed to solicit
funds for the purchase of a site for the carriage factory
has been meeting with fair success the past few days and
are on the last $100 of the amount, and though the
subscriptions come very slowly the amount is so
comparatively small that they could hardly fail in
raising it. Major A. F. Lewis and Henry Keim were
soliciting today and put in the time to the best
advantage. The contract for erecting the building has
been let to James Ross on the condition that the
remaining $100 be raised.
Pension Day
Dinner.
The ladies of the Soldiers’
Monument Association gave their pension day dinner at the
Lewis building today. Pension vouchers were made out free
of charge. The dinner was very well patronized and the
ladies took in $16.60, nearly all of which is clear.
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Today's Feature Carthage Y
Update.
The first few days last week we
needed fisherman with nets, because the shelters
and distribution centers were in need of
everything. Well now, we need hunters with bows,
because the needs are much more selective. I
contacted several of the shelters & here is
the latest list of needed supplies:
50 Twin Size Mattresses, 50
Alarm Clocks, A few Microwaves, New Adult size
Pajamas (they have lots for kids, but not
adults), New sheets, towels, pillows, Lots of Sun
Block for workers in the disaster areas, Snacks
– Sandwiches, health bars (granola), 550
Rubber Tubs – they are going through a lot
of these, Lots of Gatorade & Power Aide
– One Center went through almost a semi load
over the weekend, $25 gift cards so that victims
of the tornado can get gas for their vehicles,
T-Shirts for very large men & women – 4t
& 5T sizes, 15-20 light weight plastic
tables, Toiletries, Strong Sturdy Work Gloves,
Sizes C & D Batteries.
Please drop your donations at
the Y in Carthage – 2600 S. Grand –
right across street from Wal Mart. Bob Bob
Brower, Exec. Director Fair Acres Family YMCA
Jasper
County Jail Count
May 31,
Tuesday 191
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Did a drive through of
Joplin from Maiden Lane to the new by-pass
over the weekend. We have a continuous video
of the drive on our web site,
www.morninmail.com.
I know a lot of folks like
myself have stayed away to let emergency
personnel do their job. Hopefully the video
will give a real sense of the power of the
tornado and the enormity of the task ahead
for those affected.
There is a lot of
information being passed along on the
internet, but those who aren’t connected
miss most of that. We’ll try to keep a
good portion of it in print to keep the
information flowin’.
The Y seems to be
keepin’ a good handle on what is needed.
Call them if you want to help.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Column
HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• Keep medication bottles
to hold buttons, spare change or even hand
lotion. Be sure to clean well before reusing.
• "Stuff boots with
clean foam egg cartons to keep them from flopping
over between wearings. If the leg material is not
heavy, you can even cut a carton in half
lengthwise. Rolled-up magazines also will work
for this purpose." -- I.Y. in New York
• "Used
fabric-softener sheets can be used to shine
faucets and to clean the tub. I use mine for
dusting around the house too. To keep a steady
supply, I put an empty tissue box next to my
dryer. When the clothes (and the used sheets)
come out, I stuff them down in the box, and they
are ready whenever I need one." -- B.J. in
Arizona
• A chef’s trick to
keep cooked spinach green is to make sure the pot
is not covered while cooking.
• "When cooking
shrimp in a bouillon, put them in the freezer for
about 10 minutes before cooking. They will cook
up nice and tender. I have had success with this
when grilling too. When putting shrimp on a
skewer, I use double skewers, which hold about
five shrimp. When I thread the skewers side by
side, the shrimp are easier to turn over, and
they do not spin on the skewer." - R.R. in
Florida
• To keep cheese blocks
moist and mold-free, place a piece of napkin
dampened with white vinegar in with the cheese in
a container with a tight-fitting lid.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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