| today's
laugh COMPUTER TERMS - TEXAS TRANSLATION:
LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood
stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin’ the farwood off
the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful
gettin’ the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to
carry too much farwood
RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin’ home in the
winter time
PROMPT: What the mail ain’t in the
winter time
WINDOWS: What to shut when it’s
cold outside
SCREEN: What to shut when it’s
black fly season
BYTE: What them dang flies do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: What’s in the bottom
of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck
keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and
knives
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That’s hippie talk fer
the mouse hole
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof
ENTER: Northerner talk fer
"c’mon in, y’all"
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya
can’t ‘member what ya paid fer the rifle
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Y.M.C.A. Notes.
Next Sunday will be the Y.M.C.A. Sunday
in Carthage. All the pulpits in the city on Sunday
morning will be filled by Association men, who are coming
to present the work and needs of the Young Men’s
Christian Association. In the evening all the churches
will unite in two union services, which will be held in
the Baptist and Cumberland Presbyterian churches.
Among the Association men who will be
here are State Secretary F. H. Burt, State Secretary
Moore, Secretary Winslow of Kansas City, Secretary Hanna
of Joplin, Col. F. J. Hart, president of the Joplin
Association; R. A. Pearson of Joplin and others. Sunday
afternoon at 4 o’clock a men’s mass meeting
will be held, at which one of the visiting secretaries
will be speaking.
Tomorrow evening at 7:30 the board of
directors of the Young Men’s Christian Association
meets for the annual election of officers.
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Today's Feature Local Candidate
Forum Tonight.
The Carthage Chamber of
Commerce will sponsor a Candidate Forum on
Tuesday, March 29 at 7:30 a.m. at Forest Park
Carthage, located at 430 Elk Street (the old
Power House building). All candidates for
Carthage City Council and the Carthage R-9 School
Board have been invited to attend. The forum will
have an informal format, with each candidate
having the opportunity to speak for up to three
minutes.
Candidates for Carthage City
Council: 1st Ward - No candidate filed; 2nd Ward
- Wayne Walter, deceased (name will appear on the
ballot); 3rd Ward - Steve Leibbrand; 4th Ward
(2-year term) - Bill Welch and Dan Rife; 4th Ward
(1-year term) - John Cooper and Lee Carlson; 5th
Ward - Adam Givens, Ed Hardesty and Lujene Clark
Candidates for Carthage R-9
School Board, 3 seats available:Jeff Jones -
President of the Board of Education; Tony Diggs -
Board of Education member; Alan Snow - Candidate
for Board of Education; Elizabeth Streich -
Candidate for Board of Education
The public is invited and
encouraged to attend this free event.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I haven’t gone
barefoot in a while so I haven’t been
reminded of the joy of a stubbed toe for
several years now.
I suppose like most, seemed
to always be a big toe. Swell up big and red.
It wasn’t like ya go
‘round seein’ if you could stub a
toe. It always just happened outa the blue.
Not much you could do to avoid it ‘cept
wear shoes. I’ve even seen guys
wearin’ sandals get a stubbed toe.
‘Course the real
problem is then how to keep from
stubbin’ the same toe again. It swells
up too much ta put on shoes. Seems like the
more ya try to be careful, the more likely ya
are to hit it again.
A skinned elbow could be
worn with some pride, but a stubbed toe just
targeted you as awkward. I can’t
complain about my childhood, but some things
I don’t miss.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Columns
Triptans Offer
Some Relief From Migraines
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Please write
about migraine headaches. My granddaughter, age
22, suffers from them. She is a college student
and also works. What causes these headaches? --
E.F.
ANSWER: Migraines start out as
one-sided throbbing headaches that can last 24 or
more hours. As time passes, the entire head might
hurt. Along with the pulsating pain, nausea often
strikes, and sometimes people have to vomit.
Migraine sufferers are sensitive to light and
sound, so they seek a quiet, dark room where they
can lie down.
The cause of these headaches is
controversial. A popular theory is that a wave of
slow electrical activity spreads over the brain
and inflames its coverings, which produces the
pain.
The above "cause" of
migraines, I am sure, is not what you wanted. You
want to know what brings them on. Triggers for
migraine include too little or too much sleep,
skipping meals, strong odors, bright lights and
loud music. Women often find that menstrual
periods will usher in the headaches. Stress, both
physical and emotional, can start them. Foods
that often serve to initiate a migraine are
chocolate, cheeses, fatty foods, sausage, salami,
oranges, tomatoes, onions, red wine, peanuts and
hot dogs.
In the past 20 years, triptans
have brought a marked change in the treatment of
migraines. Sumatriptan (Imitrex), zolmitriptan
(Zomig), almotriptan (Axert), rizatriptan
(Maxalt), frovatriptan (Frova) and naratriptan
(Amerge) can control severe migraines and are
available as pills, nasal sprays and
self-administered injections. For less-intense
pain, aspirin, Tylenol, ibuprofen and naproxen
are sufficient.
When migraines recur with
disrupting regularity, preventive medicines have
a place in treatment. They include propranolol
(Inderal) and verapamil.
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