today's
laugh After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old
brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the
car. "Whats the matter Johnny?" asked his
concerned mother. Johnny replied: "that man said
that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good
Christian home...I just want her to stay with you
guys."
Strolling into a bank, the moron
presented a check and asked the teller to cash it. The
teller informed the woman that she must first identify
herself. Pulling a mirror from a purse the woman looked
in it and said, "Yes sir-its me, all
right."
A customer at a counter of a garden
ornament shop said to the cashier, "Give me four of
those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of
those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in
bloomers." The cashier replied "thatll be
eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten for the flamingos,
six for the sunflowers, and an apology for my wife!"
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Remarkable
Character.
Mrs. Gilson, an old and well known
resident at Dublin, near Jasper, died this week and was
buried in an old and abandoned cemetery at her own
request beside her husband who had been buried there. She
also requested that her favorite trinkets, a bow and
arrow, an old silver half dollar, sleeve buttons and a
book be buried in her coffin with her body. This was
done.
Mrs. Gilson was known as the
"marshal" on account of the peculiar habit she
had of "laying down the law" to those who went
contrary to her wishes. The following incident is a
sample: Some years ago a new saloon opened up in Jasper
and she warned the proprietor to not sell whiskey to her
son. It appears that her son proved to be one of the
first customers and learning of this, Mrs. Gilson went to
the saloon and pulling two big revolvers on the
barkeeper, reiterated her request with emphasis. The son
received no more whiskey at the Jasper saloon.
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Today's Feature 45th Annual Maple
Leaf Festival Theme.
Carthage, Missouri
Planning for the 45th Annual Maple Leaf Festival,
hosted by the Carthage Chamber of Commerce, is
well underway as the theme for this falls
event is unveiled. The theme "Celebrating
Carthage: Innovation & Legacy" was
submitted by local resident Sheila Gunlock and is
meant to showcase the companies and people behind
Carthages industrial revolution.
Maple Leaf committee
co-chairperson Jeanine Poe says she is
"thrilled that we are recognizing the rich
heritage of Carthages industry and the
legacy it has left and continues to leave".
The planning committee is now
accepting entries for the Maple Leaf Artwork
Contest to select the graphic design for the
festival. The selected art will be included in
all coordinating marketing, including the
official brochure, for the annual city
celebration set for October 8-15 in Carthage.
Parade entries, booth vendors, event contestants,
and other Maple Leaf Festival participants are
encouraged to incorporate the theme into all
parts of this years festivities.
Guidelines for submitting
artwork:
Submitted artwork must
be no larger than 8.5" X 14"
Digital artwork is
accepted (JPEG and PDF format only with a minimum
output of 600 dpi)
Non-digital pieces must
be submitted on white paper (no 3-D images,
sculptures or animated entries will be accepted)
For maximum reproduction
quality, vivid colors are encouraged
All entries must include
the phrases "45th Annual Maple Leaf"
and "Celebrating Carthage: Innovation &
Legacy" and should incorporate images
representing Carthage, the Maple Leaf Festival
and this years theme
All entries become the property
of the Carthage Chamber of Commerce
All entries must be received by
the Chamber office by 5 p.m. on Friday, April
15th. For information, contact Mary Jo at the
Carthage Chamber, 358-2373.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Ive seen those ads
for the gizmo that attaches to the water hose
to blow leaves outa the rain gutters.
Course they dont show the folks
usin em gettin soaked with
all that water splashin around.
What I want to see is a
gizmo that attaches to the vacuum cleaner to
clean bugs outa those chandeliers. You know
the ones, they look like big bowls suspended
down from chains. They always have a handful
a dead bugs in the bottom of em and are
usually hangin from a twenty foot
ceilin. The bigger the bowl, the more
bugs are collected.
Ive often wondered
what bugs did at night before street lights
were invented. Maybe lightin bugs were
the big attraction back then, givin a
brief glimpse of the future social activity
of bug kind. Then, everone knows bugs
are for the birds.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Columns
HERES A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
Have stubborn stains in
the toilet? Put some teeth in your cleaning job
by dropping in a denture-cleaning tablet and
letting it sit overnight. In the morning, scrub
and flush. It just might do the job.
"Lighten blemish
spots on your skin with lemon juice. Just dab on
several times per day." -- O.M. in Georgia
"Collect small bits
of soap into a cup or jar. When you have several,
add a tablespoon or two of water to the cup to
soften the soap pieces. When they are moderately
soft, pour out the contents on a washcloth, fold
it over and press into a bar shape with your
hands. Peel away the cloth to reveal what should
be a reasonably solid new bar of soap." --
C.T. in Pennsylvania
Save power with this
tip: Use cold water to wash towels and jeans.
Then hang them to dry -- preferably outside, but
on an inside line is OK, too. When they are
mostly dry, pop them in the dryer on air dry to
fluff them up. Towels and jeans take the longest
to dry in the clothes dryer, and use a lot of
electricity.
Take soap scum right off
your shower curtain -- spray with a
vinegar-and-water mixture, then throw it in the
washer. Hang it right back up, and those mildew
stains are gone!
Another great suggestion
from L.D.W. in Illinois: When canning or doing
another job, "always do the thing you hate
first, and then the rest will be easier."
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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