today's
laugh Room Service : "Morrin.
Roon sirbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I
thought I dialed room-service."
Room Service: " Rye.
Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
Guest: "Uh..... Yes,
Id like to order bacon and eggs."
Room Service: "Ow
July den?"
Guest:
".....What??"
Room Service: "Ow
July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs!
How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please."
Room Service: "Ow
July dee baykem? Crease?"
Guest: "Crisp will be
fine."
Room Service: "Hokay.
An Sahn toes?"
Guest: "What?"
Room Service: "An
toes. July Sahn toes?"
Guest: "I...
dont think so."
Room Service: "No?
Judo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really
bad about this, but I dont know what judo wan
sahn toes means."
Room Service: "Toes!
Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we
bodder?"
Guest: "Oh, English
muffin!!! Ive got it! You were saying
toast...
Fine...Yes, an English
muffin will be fine."
Room Service: "We
bodder?"
Guest: "No, just put
the bodder on the side."
Room Service:
"Wad?!?"
Guest: "I mean
butter... just put the butter on the side"
Room Service:
"Copy?"
Guest: "Excuse
me?"
Room Service:
"Copy...tea..meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee,
please... and thats everything."
Room Service: "One
Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we
bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??"
Guest: "Whatever you
say."
Room Service:
"Tenjooberrymuds."
Guest: "Youre
welcome"
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
School Board Meeting.
New Teachers Elected - L. W. Clark
Re-elected Janitor.
The board of education held a meeting
last night in the library of the high school building.
Prof. W. R. Adams, of Springfield, and Miss Walker, of
Sarcoxie, were elected as teachers in the schools. Both
are graduates of the Lincoln Institute at Jefferson and
come highly recommended.
Mrs. M. J. McClurg proposed to the
board that a number of ladies might do much toward
securing new books for the library by soliciting. The
plan is for the ladies to solicit subscriptions of a
dollar, each subscriber being allowed the free use of the
library for a year. The plan met with favor and was
endorsed by the board with the proviso that $50 must be
raised to be expended for new books. L. W. Clark was
re-elected janitor in chief and will have charge of the
school building.
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Today's Feature Sobriety
Checkpoints on Water.
Missouri State Highway
Patrols Water Patrol Division announces
efforts to reduce the incidents of intoxicated
vessel operators by the establishment of sobriety
checkpoints on Missouris lakes and rivers.
Vessel sobriety checkpoints will be conducted on
many of the states bodies of water
throughout the 2011 boating season. Sobriety
checkpoints are conducted to increase the boating
publics awareness of the potential hazards
of operating a boat while intoxicated, maximize
enforcement efforts in deterring impaired
boating, remove intoxicated boaters from Missouri
waterways, and reduce fatalities and injuries
through vigorous enforcement of Missouri boating
laws.
Last year, just over half of
the boating fatalities in Missouri involved
alcohol. Missouri boat operators found to have a
blood alcohol content of .08% will be arrested
for boating while intoxicated. Studies have shown
that it can take less alcohol to affect a
persons reaction time when out on the water
due the additional environmental stressors
boaters are exposed to such as noise, wind,
vibration, and sun.
Jasper
County Jail Count
194
May 19, 2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
In this era of mass media
and the homogenized fast paced life-style of
the larger metropolitan areas, there seems to
be some value in not just ridin the
tide.
Some of the most successful
business ventures seem to be those which go
against the grain a little.
Some Wall Street types
preach this line a thinkin all the
time. Watch for the trend, then go the other
way. The thinkin is that by the time
its a trend, everone is already
on board.
Those who settled in this
part of the country were experts at
findin opportunities where no one else
was lookin.
The recent exersise in the
Downtown Visioning Committee looked
"outside the box". Hopefully the
investment brings a legitimate return.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Weekly
Column
artCentral
ART NOTES from Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
I am continuing to prepare our
new exhibition opening at Hyde House on May 20th
with a group from the Missouri Colored Pencil
Artist Society. Most of the work is here, and the
pieces are colorful and beautiful. A unifying
factor would be realism, but the subject matter
and styles are varied and unique. Continuing with
a discussion of the artists not mentioned last
week, I will present Lora Waring, a Carthage
artist and member of artCentral as well as the
Colored Pencil Society of America. Lora is
presenting mostly floral themed work, very soft
colorations, in both watercolor pencil as well as
regular colored pencil. She was born and raised
in Florida, and nature has always been a part of
her life. She is self taught and presented her
work in the Member gallery in 2009. A new artist
for artCenral is Reeds Spring artist Karen Deeds.
She was recently accepted into the CPSAs
International juried competition, and four years
ago had a piece juried into the CPSA
"Explore This #4" exhibition. Both of
these works will be in our show here at
artCentral. Karen has worked in colored pencil
& watercolor, has taught art in high school
and at all levels, including adult workshops. She
is a multi-award winner and displays her work in
galleries in Kimberling City and Springfield.
Additionally, we will be displaying a group
colored pencil works by some local junior/student
artists in the Member Gallery. These are the
remaining artists that will be bringing their
work to us at our next opening this week, so
please plan to be with us Friday, May 20th at
6:00 for this great exhibition, which will then
remain on our galleries weekends noon to 5:00
through June 5th.
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