| today's
laugh "Some people would kick anywhere but in a
football game," snorted the restaurant
proprietor,"I can’t see what them epicures has
got to complain about with this soup."
"They wouldn’t have no grouch
coming sir," explained the waiter, tactfully,
"if only the cook would admit it’s soup. He
says it’s coffee."
The astronomy professor was lecturing.
"I predict the end of the world in fifty million
years."
"How many?" cried a
frightened voice from the rear.
"Fifty million years."
"Oh," said the voice with a
deep sigh of relief, "I thought you said fifteen
million."
"Dear Emily," he wrote.
"Words cannot express how much I regret having
broken off our engagement. Will you please come back to
me? Your absence leaves a space no one can fill. Please
forgive me and let us start all over again, I need you so
much. Yours forever, Bob.
"P.S. - By the way,
congratulations on winning the lottery."
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Crippled Woman
Abandoned.
Dr. Snyder, county physician, today
sent a crippled woman named Scott to the poor farm.
According to the story furnished by the neighbors, the
unfortunate woman was abandoned by relatives, who did
reside in a small house on Smelter Hill. The crippled
woman lived with a family named McCullum, said to be her
parents. Yesterday they moved to some unknown clime and
left the poor crippled woman alone with no fire and
nothing to eat. Neighbors discovered the poor
woman’s condition and provided her something to eat.
Today they reported the case to Dr. Snyder, who ordered
Mrs. Scott sent to the county farm.
T.V. Porterson, a traveling
representative of the Standard Oil Co., is in town today.
He has heard of the oil indications northwest of Carthage
and in Avilla vicinity, and is said to be here to
investigate the same.
.
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Today's Feature Three
Minutes of Fame Contest Winners
The Chamber of Commerce offers
its congratulations to the 45th Annual Maple Leaf
Three Minutes of Fame Lip Sync Contest winners.
This year’s contest was sponsored by
Grundy’s Body & Frame Shop.
The following was released by
the Chamber:
"In the Adult Division
first place went to Atomic Tan for their
"Chain of Fools". "Single
Ladies" brought Lydia Vasquez, Katie Short
and A.J. Lutz second place and St. Luke’s
Nursing Center took third place with "Let Me
Call Out Bingo".
In the Junior Division Natalie
Gilliam and The Wedding Party took first place
with "White Liar". In second place was
Elizabeth Poe with "Popular". Third
place went to the Carthage Jr. High 7th Grade
Leadership Council for "Footloose".
Mya Schrader won first place in
the Youth Division with "We Are Who We
Are" and "Why Can’t We Be
Friends" brought Maxyne Bennett second
place.
Thank you to Emcee Cheryle
Finley and Judges Tracy Asbell, Libby Peck, Chris
Horine and Maple Leaf Grand Marshal Frank
Saferite."
Jasper
County Jail Count
192 October 114,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I was out drivin’ in
the rain the other day, thinkin’ what a
hassle it was. ‘Course it was good ta
have the moisture after the long dry spell we
had this summer, it was good to see a good
long soakin’ rain rather than it all
comin’ in a few hours.
As I was feelin’ sorry
for myself havin’ to be gettin’ a
little wet gettin’ in and out of the
truck, I see this guy walkin’ down the
street. Soaked to the bone, but
acceptin’ the fact was makin’ his
way. I pulled over and found he was a high
school student on his way back to school.
Gave him a ride, but only a few blocks. As I
pulled out from droppin’ him off, a kid
gets outa his car with an umbrella. He sees
me and stops and turns a little and the wind
catches his rain stopper and blows it up. The
kid gets soaked. My day wasn’t so bad
after all.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Column
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
A Plumber’s
Snake? What’s That?
Q: One thing my uncle
recommended when I moved into my recently
purchased house is something called a
plumber’s snake. Just what is that? I
presume it’s for getting into pipes or
something. -- Tammy in Des Moines, Iowa
A: You’re right, Tammy, it
does have something to do with getting into
pipes. Specifically, a plumber’s snake --
more professionally known as a hand auger -- is a
handheld tool used for clearing clogs in drain
lines.
Using the hand auger takes a
little bit of practice. It’s not hard to
use, but you’re fishing blind through the
drainpipe, and figuring out the difference
between a bend in the pipe and the actual clog
can take a few tries. So, for example, let’s
say you’re clearing a clog in a sink drain.
You’ve either removed the trap (the U-bend
pipe under the sink) or, if the trap has this,
unscrewed the bolt at the bottom of the trap and
let the water drain into a bucket. But the clog
doesn’t clear (meaning it’s a little
further back in the drain line). With the trap
removed or the drain bolt unscrewed:
--Loosen the auger lock (the
bolt sticking up at the feeder end of the auger)
and feed the cable into the drain line.
--When you meet resistance,
find out if you’re simply at a bend in the
pipe. Feed out a few inches more cable so you
have some extra sticking out of the pipe. Tighten
down the auger lock. Slowly turn the auger handle
clockwise, pushing slightly. If it’s a bend
in the line, the resistance will stop and you can
continue feeding cable.
--If the resistance
doesn’t let up, you may have located a clog.
Turn the handle a few more times to try and snag
the clog material. Then, loosen the auger lock.
Continue turning the handle clockwise to reel in
the cable.
--If you meet solid resistance
and then the cable slowly feeds in, with
continuous resistance, you likely have a soap
clog. Slowly continue to bore through the soap
clog until resistance lessens. Then, retrieve the
cable by loosening the auger lock and turning the
handle clockwise.
Once you’ve taken care of
the clog, reconnect the trap. Run hot water
through the pipe, which will flush out loose
debris or help break up that soap clog.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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