today's
laugh When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild
dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal
and throttled it with his two hands.
A reporter saw the incident,
congratulated the man and told him the headline the
following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by
Killing Vicious Animal."
The hero, however, told the journalist
that he wasnt from Macon.
"Well, then," the reporter
said, "the headline will probably say, "Georgia
Man Saves Child by Killing Dog."
"Actually," the man said,
"Im from Connecticut."
"In that case," the reporter
said in a huff, "the headline will read,
"Yankee Kills Family Pet."
In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the
law for a chicken to cross any road within the city
limits.
]In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken
thieves to work during daylight hours.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
BURGLARS AT
KREIDERS.
Same Old Chisel
Racket
"Jack the Chiseler" is abroad
again. Last night he sneaked down the dark and weedy
alley back of E. J. Kreiders second hand and
furniture store on North Main street, and pried away at
the window. Finally he broke the glass, lowered the
window and climbed in. He left through the rear door,
unlatching it from within.
This morning when Jerry Taylor opened
up he missed some things. Five watches, two gold and
three silver, twelve watch chains and a ladys
necklace were not in their accustomed place and a brown
suit of clothes was also gone. The loss is estimated at
$50. Marshal Bruffett is working on the case today, but
no clue has yet been found.
The Carthage Pottery shipped a carload
of their ware to Perry, Oklahoma, today.
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Today's Feature Carthage Woman
Joins Missouri Southern Police Force
JOPLIN, MO (SNS) - Karen
Barbosa, Carthage, officially became commissioned
as a member of the Police Force at Missouri
Southern State University on August 19, 2011.
Barbosa had previously served
as a Security Officer at Missouri Southern.
She is a graduate of the
Missouri Southern Police Academy and has a
Bachelors degree in Criminal Justice
Administration at MSSU.
Barbosa was commissioned at
Missouri Southern following successful completion
of a series of tests required of police officers
in Missouri.
"Im really
excited," she said following the ceremony.
"This is a great day. Im really happy
to be a member of the Police Force at MSSU."
Saferite
Maple Leaf Grand Marshal.
Frank Saferite, owner of
Grundys Body Shop, has been chosen as the
2011 Grand Marshal for the Maple Leaf Festival.
Saferite will serve as a pageant judge and ride
in the parade on October 15.
Jasper
County Jail Count
203 August 31,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By
Monte Dutton
A typical Year
for The Master
This hasnt been a typical
year for Jimmie Johnson ... yet.
Johnson, who will turn 36 on
Sept. 17, has won 54 Sprint Cup races since he
became a series regular in 2002. Then
theres the matter of five championships.
The last five.
This year Johnson has won once.
The Pure Michigan 400 marked only his second
runner-up finish.
On the other hand, Johnson, who
grew up in El Cajon, Calif., ranks second in the
point standings, and in his five championship
seasons, he has never led the points at the end
of the regular season, which is now just three
races away.
"Im very interested
to see how this Chase goes," he said.
"I think its the hardest one to
predict. Its going to be a close one. I
dont know who to make the favorite.
Well just have to see how everybody
responds to pressure when it really kicks
up."
Johnson may not know whom to
make the favorite, but it seems a bit absurd to
pick anyone but ... him.
After all, no one else has ever
won five straight championships at NASCARs
premier level. He could use a victory or two in
the final three regular-season races, but his
consistency to this point does rank him second,
and consistency is important in the Chase.
Johnson was unable to hold off
Kyle Busch at Michigan International Speedway,
one of few tracks where he has never won.
Afterward, he said his only regret was "not
winning."
"I had every opportunity
handed to me," he added. "(Crew chief)
Chad (Knaus) made an awesome call to get me to
pit road before the (next to last) caution (flag)
came out. I had a second shot (after the final
caution) at (Busch) on the restart and
didnt have enough to get by.
"No excuses. I just
wasnt able to get him today."
Naturally, Johnson will rely on
his experience in the Chase.
"Youre going to be
tested in all areas," he said. "We all
have weaknesses, and we all have strengths.
"Really, the bottom line
is being strong or adequate in your weakest
areas, and raising that part up so your average
is high enough to perform. ... Its really
about withstanding pressure in all areas."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
A farmer I used ta work for
while I was in high school always told me
that if ya see turtles on the road it means
its gonna rain. Said they could sense
the comin weather and headed for higher
ground. I never was convinced completely, but
I always try to remember when I see the
creatures ploddin on the roadways.
I always look in the
rearview mirror when I pass over turtles with
the car. Some pull their head in and just
wait, other just keep wigglin along
like nothin happened. I cant
imagine what a turtle must be thinkin
when vehicle whizzes over em. Maybe
they figure it was one a those quick thunder
storms movin through, or a giant crash
of thunder. Youd think the hot pavement
would stick to their little feet as long as
they take ta get on the other side. Maybe
theyre just hopin for rain.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
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Weekly
Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
About a year ago, I had the
timing belt replaced on my 2003 Subaru Outback.
Then, last week, I had the head gasket replaced
at a different shop. When they replaced the head
gasket, they looked at my timing belt and said I
needed a new one! The reason was because they
could not see any writing on the belt, and they
said if it was replaced last year, there would
still be writing visible, as it takes
40,000-50,000 miles to wear the writing off a
belt. Did they really replace my timing belt last
year, or did they rip me off? -- Jim
RAY: Ive heard of
"seeing the writing on the wall," but
seeing the writing on the timing belt is not as
well-known a phrase -- for good reason, Jim.
Its not a reliable indicator.
TOM: The factory belts often
have white marks that line up with the timing
marks on the cylinder heads and cam sprockets.
But not all aftermarket belts do.
RAY: There are three
possibilities: One, the original guys didnt
change your timing belt and ripped you off. Two,
the original guys changed the timing belt, and
the second guys made an honest mistake because
they think all timing belts have long-lasting
writing on them. Or three, the second guys ripped
you off, which you hadnt considered yet.
TOM: When you replace a head
gasket, you have to remove and replace the timing
belt anyway. So theres no additional labor
required to change it. If theyre honest
guys, they would have told you that you needed a
new timing belt and it would just cost you $75
for the part.
RAY: On the other hand, if they
tried to charge you an additional $300 in labor
-- which is what it would cost if the timing belt
were not ALREADY off -- then that would suggest
that theyre ripoff artists, and it would
lead us to question their credibility about
everything.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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