| today's
laugh It’s a hot summer day and Jake and Harry
are in a ditch digging away. Meanwhile, Ralph is up under
the shade of a tree sipping on a cool drink. Jake asks
Harry, "Why are we down here digging in the hot Sun
while Ralph is being cool up there?" Harry says,
"I don’t know, I’ll go ask him".
Harry goes up and asks Ralph, "Why are you up here
in the shade drinking a cool drink and Jake and I are in
the ditch digging in the hot sun?" Ralph says,
"’cause I’ve got smarts".
"What’s that? Asks Harry. Ralph puts his hand
in front of the tree and says, "Hit my hand as hard
as you can". Harry swings his fist at Ralph’s
hand, Ralph moves his hand and Harry hits the tree,
hurting his hand. Ralph, says "I knew to pull my
hand away, that’s called having smarts". Harry
goes back in the ditch and Jake asks, "What did he
say?" Ralph says, "Its cause he has
smarts." "What’s that? Asks Jake. Harry
puts his hand in front of his face and says. "Hit my
hand!"
Difference between genius and stupid?
-"Genius has its limits."
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Miner’s House
Burned.
D. M. Stafford reports the burning of a
house on the Porto Rico tract near Prosperity yesterday
afternoon about 3 o’clock. It belonged to Messrs.
Lee and Moore, who were keeping batch in the house.
At the time of the fire they were at
work in a shaft close by and knew nothing about the fire
till it was all over with. Everything they had except the
clothes they had on was burned. Moore lost $28.60 in
cash. The fire is supposed to have originated from an oil
stove.
A man named Wilson, of Chicago has
rented the vacant room in the Regan block north of
Brinkley’s hardware store and will occupy it about
August 1st with a stock of confections etc. He is said to
be an experienced candy maker. After a visit to all the
towns in the southwest he decided he liked Carthage best
and so located here.
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Today's Feature PUBLIC LANDS
DAY.
Washington Carver National
Monument is hosting a volunteer-led effort to
control invasive exotic plants identified at the
park. This work will take place in the woodlands
and on the prairie. Volunteers-In-Parks (VIPs)
will remove these nuisance plants by pulling and
cutting. The project also includes planting trees
throughout the park. Volunteers are asked to join
VIPs of George Washington Carver National
Monument as they help protect America’s
treasures. The event will be held from 10:00 a.m.
to 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 24. Registration
will be at the visitor center.
The park will also offer a
special film presentation, beginning at 1:00 p.m.
entitled, Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring.
This 55 minute film documentary explores Carson
as a fearless champion of the environment and her
1962 book, Silent Spring.
George Washington Carver
National Monument preserves the birthplace and
childhood home of George Washington Carver. It is
located two miles west of Diamond, Missouri on
Highway V, then ¼ mile south on Carver Road.
Call the park at (417) 325-4151 between 9 a.m.
and 4:30 p.m.
Jasper
County Jail Count
179 September
20, 2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
With all the fuss over
warnin’ labels, it’s obvious that
the toothpick industry has a savvy
lobbyin’ organization at work.
I can’t believe that
such a dangerous implement is allowed on the
market without the appropriate caution
bein’ spelled out in detail for the
protection and safety of the consumer.
They obviously don’t
belong in the hands of minor children. No
tellin’ what the imagination of an eight
year old could devise. Sure they can be
carefully molded into innocent objects for
the creation of small toys or crafts, but
that only leads to a false sense of security.
They should be only distributed in a child
proof box with an appropriate warnin,’
"Only For Use In Your Mouth." They
also need adequate instructions on teeth
pickin’.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Carthage Printing Services |
Weekly
Column
HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• Cell phones get dirty --
especially touch-screen phones. Be sure to wipe
the surface of your phone daily during cold and
flu season. Use an approved antiseptic wipe for
electronics.
• "I used to hate
planning our family’s weekly meals. Now we
decide together at dinner on Friday night. We
agree on meals for the week, and I can get a
shopping list together in time for weekend
shopping. It’s made for less groans at
mealtime, and the kids have been surprisingly
creative and flexible about trying new things now
that they are part of the choosing process."
-- T.L. in Minnesota
• "To keep things
running smoothly in the morning, all four of my
children must be dressed, with shoes, and seated
for breakfast before any television can come on.
There’s suddenly a lot of peer pressure to
get up and dressed, and much more helpfulness in
my morning routine." -- A.M., via email
• "I have found
myself with an abundance of peppers from my
garden, so I cleaned and chopped them, then froze
them. I am able to take out what I need, and they
won’t spoil." -- C.E. in Florida
• Creative uses for
kids’ artwork: Tape to cardstock for a
homemade greeting card for any occasion. Hang
from the bathroom mirror. Laminate and use as
placemats. Large pieces can be used as wrapping
paper. Frame and donate to local senior centers.
• To keep windshield
wipers clean between replacement periods, dampen
a soft cloth with rubbing alcohol and wipe the
length of the blade.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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