today's
laugh A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all
day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can
I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why
not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and
doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
One day a teacher was giving a lecture
on philosophy, and had the class enthralled. It was a
brilliant lecture.
Suddenly, over his head a bright light
flashed and an angel came down and approached the
teacher. She said, "You are doing such a good job
teaching this class, I have decided to give you one wish.
You can have infinite money, infinite wisdom, or infinite
knowledge."
Thinking for a minute, he humbly asked
for infinite wisdom.
She tapped him with a magic wand and
disappeared in a flash.
The class leaned forward to hear the
first words from a man with infinite wisdom.
He said, "It would have been wiser
to take the money..."
About a year ago my sister, who lives
in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son,
Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from
Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are
plugged up.
"They think we have an
accent," she replied.
"But they have an accent,
right?", Brent asked. "They talk funny?"
"Everybody talks in different
ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound
like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n
out."
His eyes got big, and he whispered
seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny
too?"
"I am not part of the problem. I
am a Democrat."
"A low voter turnout is an
indication of fewer people going to the polls."
Vice President Al Gore
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Today's Features Dog and Cat Tags Due and Available.
The City Clerks office has
distributed new dog and cat tags to veterinarians
in the area and they are available now. They can
be obtained through local veterinarians or Dog
licenses are handled by the city clerks
office. Proof of rabies vaccine given by a
licensed veterinarian is required. The license
fee at City Hall is $5.00.
For a Dog license, the fee is
five dollars for a non-spayed female or
non-neutered male. There will be no license fee
for a spayed female or a neutered male. It shall
be the responsibility of the owner of any spayed
female or a neutered male to keep and provide
upon request, proof that said dog has been spayed
or neutered. There will also be no license fee
for dogs owned by persons sixty-five (65) years
of age or older.
Cat License
Any person residing in the city
and owning or having in his or her possession any
cats shall obtain a license as required by the
Carthage Code. There shall be a charge of five
dollars for a non-spayed female or non-neutered
male. Licenses for the keeping of cats shall
expire annually on the anniversary date of its
issuance. There will be no license fee for a
spayed female or a neutered male. It shall be the
responsibility of the owner of any spayed female
or a neutered male to keep and provide upon
request, proof that said cat has been spayed or
neutered. Further, each cat must be vaccinated
for rabies. There will also be no license fee for
cats owned by persons sixty-five (65) years of
age or older.
No more than five dogs and
cats, and no more than three of this number being
dogs, shall be kept at any individual,
commercial, industrial or residential unit within
the city.
Saferite
Retires.
Frank
Saferite, owner of Grundys Body Shop, has
sold the business and retired as of January 1,
2012.
Frank has
been associated with Gurndys Body shop for
42 years, being the owner for the last 33 years.
From The
Blotter.
Jeannie M.
Chartier, 57, of Carthage was arrested on
12/30/11. Ms. Chartier works for a local bonding
Company and detained Mr. Reynaldo Delarosa on
12-28-11 saying she was revoking his bond, Ms.
Chartier took him to the Jasper County Detention
Center but was refused due to not having a judges
order to revoke his bond. Ms. Chartier then took
Mr. Delarosa to her residence and hand cuffed him
to the banister of her staircase until 12-29-11.
Delarosa was released after calling a friend to
pay his bond to the Chartier. Chartier was
subsequently arrested and charged with false
imprisonment, Misdemeanor, $2,500 bond, in
reference to the incident that occurred within
Jasper County.
Patrol
Reports Five Fatalities During New Years
Counting Period.
The Missouri
State Highway Patrol reports five people died
during the New Years holiday counting
period from 6 p.m., Friday, December 30, 2011, to
11:59 p.m., Monday, January 2, 2012. Troopers
investigated 163 traffic crashes with 75 injuries
and 5 fatalities. In addition, troopers made 114
arrests for driving while intoxicated.
During last
years New Years holiday counting
period, troopers investigated 157 traffic crashes
with 70 injuries. Statewide, there were five
fatalities during the 2011 New Years
holiday. In addition, troopers made 90 arrests
for driving while intoxicated.
Based on
preliminary crash report information, Colonel Ron
Replogle, superintendent of the Missouri State
Highway Patrol, wants to make the public aware of
a 5 percent decrease in traffic fatalities in
2011 when compared to 2010. "As of January
3, 2012, Missouri traffic crash fatalities
totaled 773 for 2011, compared to 821 traffic
crash fatalities in 2010. This is the first year
since 1949 that Missouri has experienced less
than 800.
Jasper
County Jail Count
179 January 4,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply |
Weekly
Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
Between yesterday afternoon and
this morning, I have had three flat tires. The
tire that was flat yesterday had a screw in it,
and the tires that are flat this morning have
finishing nails. My question is, Are plugs
reliable, or are patches or tire replacement
recommended? I will add that I am living in Costa
Rica, and tire puncturing is a known technique
for robbing foreigners. Thus the idea of
replacing tires only to have them repunctured is
not appealing. -- Bill
TOM: Well, my first thought was
that you need run-flat tires. Run-flats require
special equipment to mount them, plus
theyre expensive, require tire-pressure
monitors and may not be as repairable as standard
tires.
RAY: So, on second thought, you
need a 55-gallon drum of pepper spray mounted on
the roof.
TOM: Actually, plugs have been
used since the days of the Roman chariots. OK,
not that long, but theyre well-established
and effective. As long as the hole in the tire is
not too big, you can insert a plug and expect it
to last for the remaining life of the tire --
which in your case sounds like about six hours.
RAY: But even better, a plug is
something you can do yourself, Bill. You can go
to any auto-parts store and buy yourself a plug
kit.
TOM: It consists of a bunch of
plugs, a reamer, which you use to make the hole
the exact size of the plug, and a tool for
inserting the plugs.
RAY: So you create the hole,
then thread the plug into the insertion tool, and
then you insert it and remove the tool. And
voila! The repair is done and youre on your
way.
TOM: So then what you need is a
cylinder of compressed air that you can carry
around in your trunk. Good luck, Bill.
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